Carm Posted October 26, 2011 Posted October 26, 2011 I've met someone thru an online dating site and we are really hitting it off. I feel like I've known him for a long time. I can't stop laughing when I'm with him. We both really enjoy each others company. We've had three dates and I'm really happy to say that on the 3rd date I felt there was chemistry on my end. We did kiss on the 3rd date, but no more. Our 4th date is coming up this weekend but I'm wondering at what point does the exclusivity talk come into play?
Leegh Posted October 26, 2011 Posted October 26, 2011 I would say within a couple of months, but sometimes it's unspoken, it can be just a feeling that the couple has when they want to be exclusive.
Mr. Slim Posted October 26, 2011 Posted October 26, 2011 For me, it comes up when they bring it up. I'm exclusive from day one, since I don't multi-date.
carhill Posted October 26, 2011 Posted October 26, 2011 I usually address it up front when talking about relationship styles. Since I've had LTR's and been M, I approach it historically. 'In all of my relationships and M, I was in an exclusive committed relationship before making love. I like that style' Then- 'How do you feel about that?' Then- Listen
Pierre Posted October 26, 2011 Posted October 26, 2011 I've met someone thru an online dating site and we are really hitting it off. I feel like I've known him for a long time. I can't stop laughing when I'm with him. We both really enjoy each others company. We've had three dates and I'm really happy to say that on the 3rd date I felt there was chemistry on my end. We did kiss on the 3rd date, but no more. Our 4th date is coming up this weekend but I'm wondering at what point does the exclusivity talk come into play? Exclusivity is only an issue for folks that date many people at the same time. For those that only date one person at a time the word is meaningless. Are you guys dating other people?
alphamale Posted October 26, 2011 Posted October 26, 2011 Our 4th date is coming up this weekend but I'm wondering at what point does the exclusivity talk come into play? after 4-6 months
azsinglegal Posted October 26, 2011 Posted October 26, 2011 For me, it comes up when they bring it up. I'm exclusive from day one, since I don't multi-date. Exclusivity is only an issue for folks that date many people at the same time. For those that only date one person at a time the word is meaningless. Are you guys dating other people? ^^ This. But I've never dated more then one person at a time. I have a friend who dates 4-7 guys at a time but not sleeping with any of them. That takes more energy then I have. Plus, if I like someone, it's fair I give them all of my attention.
Cypress25 Posted October 26, 2011 Posted October 26, 2011 Exclusivity is only an issue for folks that date many people at the same time. For those that only date one person at a time the word is meaningless. Are you guys dating other people? I think the OP is asking when you find out if your partner is dating other people. You can't know that unless you ask, and it's clear that the OP hasn't asked yet. That's what the exclusivity talk really is. You know, since you can't read your partner's mind to find out if they're multi-dating.
Author Carm Posted October 26, 2011 Author Posted October 26, 2011 I'm not dating anyone else. I did however accept another date from another man after I had been on one date with the man in question. When I compare the two, there is no comparison so I chose not to see the other one. That being said, I do not know if this guy is dating anyone else. I don't think he is, I know that he is ga-ga over me. I have no problem asking him but maybe not on the 4th date. I may leave this for the 5th or 6th? Just like Carhill, I will not sleep with anyone until I know we are officially a couple.
Pierre Posted October 26, 2011 Posted October 26, 2011 I think the OP is asking when you find out if your partner is dating other people. You can't know that unless you ask, and it's clear that the OP hasn't asked yet. That's what the exclusivity talk really is. You know, since you can't read your partner's mind to find out if they're multi-dating. I don't multi date so I would ask right away if she is multi dating. I would hate to date a woman several times and then find out she is seeing several men. I will not date a woman that is seeing other men. The op is not a multi dater so she has been exclusive from day one. It would be awful to find out her date has been seeing several other women.
D-Lish Posted October 26, 2011 Posted October 26, 2011 I'm not dating anyone else. I did however accept another date from another man after I had been on one date with the man in question. When I compare the two, there is no comparison so I chose not to see the other one. That being said, I do not know if this guy is dating anyone else. I don't think he is, I know that he is ga-ga over me. I have no problem asking him but maybe not on the 4th date. I may leave this for the 5th or 6th? Just like Carhill, I will not sleep with anyone until I know we are officially a couple. I never bring up "the talk"... With both of my ex's, it was just unspoken until one day I'm being introduced as their "girlfriend". I prefer to let the guy bring it up. If you have to question whether or not you're exclusive, you're not exclusive. I always find that forcing "the talk" with someone is putting needless pressure on the "getting to know one another" process. I never like to be in a hurry to force labels.
antinko Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 Hmm, with my girlfriend, 'exclusivity' just sort of came up and we both acknowledged that we were just seeing each other. ...She told me she loved me the other day and I said I did too. It just happened. Feels good.
Cypress25 Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 I don't multi date so I would ask right away if she is multi dating. I would hate to date a woman several times and then find out she is seeing several men. I will not date a woman that is seeing other men. Not everyone feels comfortable asking right away. Some people prefer to have a few dates before they talk about it. The op is not a multi dater so she has been exclusive from day one. It would be awful to find out her date has been seeing several other women. Not everyone thinks it would be awful. I mean, I don't multi-date, but I don't care if other people do. That's why I don't ask about it in the early stages of dating. I'm just using that time to get to know him and decide how I feel about him. If he's dating other women during that time, that's OK. If not, that's OK too. I would expect him to bring up the subject of exclusivity after 1-2 months of dating. If he doesn't, I would walk away at that point. And he probably would too, since I don't have sex outside of committed relationships. We'd need to have that talk long before physical intimacy progresses to that point.
Pierre Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 I never bring up "the talk"... With both of my ex's, it was just unspoken until one day I'm being introduced as their "girlfriend". I prefer to let the guy bring it up. If you have to question whether or not you're exclusive, you're not exclusive. I always find that forcing "the talk" with someone is putting needless pressure on the "getting to know one another" process. I never like to be in a hurry to force labels. I like to have a gf and if I date I am looking for a mate. If I feel a connection I asked right away. If she is multidating I stop calling her.
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