Lola710 Posted October 26, 2011 Posted October 26, 2011 I started dating my now ex 4 years ago... things were rocky the first year but then the next two were awesome! He lived about 35 miles from me but we worked together so we saw each other at lunch time and on weekends... In April of this year he moves to my neighborhood to be closer to me. 3 BLOCKS AWAY! Awesomeness right? I thought so. Now about 2 months ago, I find links to escorts and "happy ending" massage parlors on his phone... claims they aren't his.... hooked up his phone to another persons computer, maybe he got their links... whatevs. So I become suspicious and continually find more so on October 11th I find he googled directions from his job to one of these parlors, withdrew money in a shady neighbrhood and that was it. Packed my bags, loaded up my car, told my parents I was coming home and waited for him to show up. I told him he obviously had a problem with telling the truth and he was furious I looked through his things but at this point, I don't care. I just want him to know that I know all the stuff he's been doing and I'm done. His aunt passed away two days later, he writes me to say he's not ok. I go to his place and he tells me to leave so I do. I decide to go on a girls trip to Miami for the weekend and get the "I'm heartbroken" email. The week after (last week) I agree to meet him to talk and he tells me how bad off he is (and he looks it... probably planned it that way) and I tell him I can be his friend but he has to be honest even in a friendship. Two days later, he is supposed to change my tire and he is clearly hung over (smells like vomit and alcohol... theres vomit on his car door) and I say "rough night?" and he snaps at me saying "No I took an allergy pill and fell asleep at 8" but I know he's lying. As he walks away his phone vibrates and I just look at the screen and it's "Anna... did you make it home ok?" and I feel so dumb for letting him play me. He puts his coat on because it's cold and theres vomit on that and I point it out and just laugh and he keeps asking me "what? just say it" you think I'm lying. This is why we aren't together".... and I just smile and say "I don't even have the energy to say what I have to".... and tell him to leave my tire and I'll find someone to do it. Sooooo if you are still reading....Which I hope you are. He has given me back most of the money in our savings but still owes me $170 and apparently there is still some stuff of mine at his place and I still has some things of his at my place but I don't want to see him. I gave him 4 years... I gave him my relationship with my daughter's father (who I left for him) and I gave him some of my best party years. I met him when I was 19... now 23 and he is 37. I don't even recognize who I am anymore. Where do I even begin?
LovelyDaze Posted October 26, 2011 Posted October 26, 2011 First of all, if this guy is behaving this way at the age of 37 then I am sorry...he sounds like a loser to me. Some people refuse to grow up and think like a kid instead of maturing like they are certainly supposed to do. My opinion is to ask just ONCE for your money and/or "stuff" and if he doesn't comply, chalk it up as collateral damage and let go. Don't thrive in this immature drama of his. Make the decision to be the adult and move forward with your life. You are 23? well, you have sooo much time to meet other men that may be just perfect for you. Don't waste it. Heck, you could have been 60 and I would have said the same thing. Life truly is too precious and way too short for games. Stop playing them by doing this silly dance with a man who is almost 40 and vomiting all over himself like an idiot.
Author Lola710 Posted October 27, 2011 Author Posted October 27, 2011 Thank you so much! You are right... I keep letting him affect my mood on certain days and I don't even recognize who I am anymore. I have to let go but really really let go. I have to keep reminding myself that he isn't worth it....
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