Deano8888 Posted October 26, 2011 Posted October 26, 2011 Hiya, well long story short my gf broke up with me about a month ago out the blue via text. She was pretty cruel to me in the last few months of our relationship. She would ignore my texts not want to meet up and everything was on her terms. She even admitted that she knew she had me wrapped around her little finger and she found that boring. Anyway, I really wanted her back so I did the usual stupid thing of texting, calling and sending cards. Big mistake I know and it didn't work. I then tried this no contact thing. And within a few weeks she has started texting me. First she texts me saying she's really sorry and feels really guilty and know I must hate her right now, she says thats good cos it will make it easier to forget about her. So I text back deliberately not answering the things she said, I just said I'm ok and i'm starting my new job next week. Next day she texts again saying she would like to stay in touch but understands if I didn't. So I replied saying yeah thats fine again trying not to be drawn into a convo. She then texts saying she misses me and she is glad i want to stay in touch. Then over the next few hours she texts me some random stuff trying to be all jokey and funny, I just humour her with short replies. But, then she texts saying that she feels bad for the way she treated me, she had no right and she thinks about it everyday, it was the hardest thing she has ever done ect.. So I just replied saying it's ok I'm a big boy now i'll cope. Then I get this response from her, "I don't want you to cope, I want you to hate me and blame me for everything because it would hurt less if you did. I never stopped loving you" So I said look, whats on your mind? She replied "you mostly", then she sent a text a few mins later say shes sorry she should have let things be and she's going bed! I have not heard from her since, but when I checked out one of her emails (I know I shouldn't but we all been there) she has been speaking to another bloke! I don't understand whats going on. I think that she wanted me to text back to and to say something to take away her guilt and tell her nice things and suck up to her. But I didn't. So I think she is sending me these texts because she has seen I am not wrapped round her finger and I'm getting on with my life and this is bothering her. She wants me obsessing over her even though she was the one that dumped me! Is she playing games? What do these texts mean? Do you think she loves me or just wants attention? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I still love this woman and want her back, just don't know if I'm doing the right thing. I have not heard from her today, should I text? arhhhhh my heads a mess Thanks for reading
Chi townD Posted October 26, 2011 Posted October 26, 2011 You know that little finger of hers? You're wrapping yourself around it again and she's loving it! You're falling for the "poor me" game. AND she's e-mailing other dude's. Go NC with her, if you need to close it out with her, send her a text that you need to stop contacting each other because you still have feelings for her and you need to heal and move on. You can't do that while you're still in contact with her. Then go dark. If she gets angry, oh well. She made the choice to have you out of her life and you're only giving her what she asked for. So, she can get mad until the cows come home. She did this, not you.
CaliBabe Posted October 26, 2011 Posted October 26, 2011 She is clearly giving you breadcrumbs. Don't fall for it! Don't prove to her that you are just as sprung on her as you were. You will be giving her all the power again. Let her come to you. Stay strong!
Author Deano8888 Posted October 26, 2011 Author Posted October 26, 2011 thank you both for your replies and thoughts. Its greatly appreciated.
mike588 Posted October 26, 2011 Posted October 26, 2011 Follow the good advise given to you. I wanted breadcrumbs for awhile then I see and read how it just sets you back and delays the healing now I don't want them!
Hampo1212 Posted October 26, 2011 Posted October 26, 2011 it's all very well saying, all of the above, but Deano, how long has it been since you split? Do you really believe you could go, say 6 months without contacting her at all? If you could, then you probably would be soooo over her by that time. Sounds like you really like her though. Best advice would be to go to no contact, if you believe you are able to, as it looks as clear as day as though she will only end up hurting you again. In fact, the best thing to do IMO would be to hook up with another girl and see how she likes that! H
LovelyDaze Posted October 26, 2011 Posted October 26, 2011 You know that little finger of hers? You're wrapping yourself around it again and she's loving it! You're falling for the "poor me" game. AND she's e-mailing other dude's. Go NC with her, if you need to close it out with her, send her a text that you need to stop contacting each other because you still have feelings for her and you need to heal and move on. You can't do that while you're still in contact with her. Then go dark. If she gets angry, oh well. She made the choice to have you out of her life and you're only giving her what she asked for. So, she can get mad until the cows come home. She did this, not you. That was excellent Chi townD! Breadcrumbs are the worst. It seems as if your ex has acknowledged that she has treated you like horse manure does feel some guilt. Thing is, she wants you to unload that guilt off of her back so she can have you ego brush her long, unmanagable tail. If you give in by texting her, she will have you right back where she wants you...under her self absorbed thumb. Be strong, imagine texting her and your ex either not responding or playing with your heart again like she has been doing lately. Yes, it is possible to feel worse so don't visit it.
Author Deano8888 Posted October 27, 2011 Author Posted October 27, 2011 thank you all for taking the time to respond, I'm going through a hard time (like everyone else) and your support and advice is much appreciated. What she will do is text me, then if i dont text her she texts a couple of hours later. then if I give in and text she won't text back. Why do people play mind games anyone? She is 41 for f**k sake, if you like someone then have a relationship with them, if not then tell the person and move on. I do believe this woman likes me, be she only like me if she can have me 'wrapped' around her finger and treat like s**t. She honestly text me about 3 weeks ago saying never to text her or phone her again, now this! I bet a lot of you have gone through something similar. And you know what, we are the ones who are normal they are the stupid freaks!!!!
Chi townD Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 What she will do is text me, then if i dont text her she texts a couple of hours later. then if I give in and text she won't text back. That is a great example of breadcrumbs. Do you know what she's doing right there? She's pulling on the leash to see if the dog is still there. You're right, she's immature and not worth your time.
M2155 Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 In your original post is sounds like straight guilt-tripping you into forgiving her. Agree with everyone else going forward she just wants to know you're still around because she can, and it feels less bad for her if you guys are in contact. Change her name in your phone to "Breadcrumbs"
Author Deano8888 Posted October 29, 2011 Author Posted October 29, 2011 Just to let you all know I didn't follow any of your sound advice and decided to text back. Well, you all know how this is going to end don't ya. Well she text me leading me on and I feel for it. Now it's me texting again and her not answering. She asked me to pour my heart out to which I did, and she basically said she would rather me just hate her!!! I have no idea what this means and when I asked she blanked me. So she broke no contact with me for me to basically pour my heart out and tell her how i feel and she doesn't respond and ignores me. So your probably thinking she just had not read it or was out ect.... but no, guess what? I still have her password for her flirtomatic account, (don't give me a hard time cos you would all do the same in my position) and she logged in during our text convo checking out her messages and looking at blokes profiles!!!!!!!!!!! arhhhhhhh I'm such an idiot. I was actually starting to get over her and move on but I'm right back at the begining with her in the drivers seat and me round her finger. I completely fell for it. I still love her and thought telling her how I feel would change things, but she doesn't give a s**t about me. I'm being used like a sucker and it hurt hurt hurts. I don't deserve this I really don't deserve this. I'm a good person I swear, why is this happening. And you know what, this is making me EXTREMELY depressed and I feel suicidal cos I can not take the pain and hurt it's causing. She is a mind games expert, I thought I could play her at it but she won again and treats me like s**t. I can not go on like this, I want her so bad but I am treated so bad. She even text me saying it was okm if I was with someone new!!!!!!!!!!!!!# HELP ME PLEASE........ I don't know what to do:(:(:(:(:(:(:(
M2155 Posted October 30, 2011 Posted October 30, 2011 Sorry buddy:(. Well you know what you need to do. Block/delete her numbers completely. Go back to letting go for good. I am 100% positive she wanted you to pour your heart out and was ok if you are with someone else in order to make her feel less guilty. Knowing you were mad or that you met someone new would help her conscious. That's pretty selfish and not doing anything for yourself. Really, delete or change her contact info. You are correct, you do NOT deserve this. Look forward to finding someone who doesn't play games.
LovelyDaze Posted October 31, 2011 Posted October 31, 2011 Deano...don't you do ANYTHING to harm yourself! You are giving your ex too much power. Forbid if something terrible happened to you, the truth is that your ex would mourn and then move right along with her life. Even worse, you wouldn't have the opportunity to see where, who or what greatness your life is to become. I had horrific breakup with an ex who dumped me abruptly, married the girl, fed me breadcrumbs, divorced the girl only to come back for one last chance recently. I can 101% look him straight in his eyes and tell him, "No, thanks!" I am now dating a great guy who treats me like I never thought I deserved to be treated. We waste TOO much time on people who don't have real time for us. We become used to being less than a priority, licking up breadcrumbs when a steak dinner is waiting for us around the corner. Don't settle...be hungry for more. The girl you deserve is out there waiting on you to get over your ex...
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