Hope

[Reina04]

I feel so horrible. I left my husband in May (5 months ago) and literally the next day he moved in with a good female friend of ours. Now 5 months later I find out they are engaged. So that means either they fell in love in 5 months or they were sleeping together before I left. I saw the signs of cheating while I was with him but ignored it. Anyways, I left him and I don't want him back. I don't love him. He beat me for 7 months straight even while I was pregnant with his kid. He tried to kill me many times. So no, there is no love there. What makes me mad is that what if he is good to his new fiance? What if he really does love her and treats her kind and does not control her? Does that mean that I brought out those evil things in him and she is really good for him? Well you see i'm wife number 6 and I was told by all his other wives that he beat them up to...So does that mean he will beat his new girl up? Half of me wants him to. The other half doesn't. The real reason I'm sad is because he found someone else and has moved on and he is in love. He is receiving affection and he is happy. I on the other hand, am single with 2 kids, alone, poor, sleeping on the floor, I have no clothes, I have no personal possessions. We are living like bums on the floor with barely any food. Yet he doesn't pay child support, won't send me any of my stuff. And he is happy....He is in love, has money, has clothes, has someone to hold him and kiss him. He sleeps on a bed. He has food to eat. We are barely surviving. He destroyed my life and made it possible for me to never be able to work again or go back to school. So I can't support myself or my kids. I'm alone, single and hurting. I lied and told them both that I was engaged and in love and happy finally. I wanted to hurt them. I wanted them to think that I have a better life than them. In reality they won. I am suffering, they are not. I am in misery, they are happy. Yet I can't let them think they won. Yet lying to them makes me cry because no one will ever love me again. I will only have one-night stands because i'm a single mother and not beautiful. I was single for 9 years before I met my husband. I know I won't find anyone else. I have never had luck with men. I guess if i want affection I just have to close my eyes and have a one-night stand, go home afterwards and cry. At least for 30 minutes, I'll feel desired. Maybe one day he will lose his new girl and never find love again. Maybe he will cheat on her and she will feel like crap. Like what she did to me...Maybe? A girl can dream.

[thomasb]

I feel so horrible. I left my husband in May (5 months ago) and literally the next day he moved in with a good female friend of ours. Now 5 months later I find out they are engaged. So that means either they fell in love in 5 months or they were sleeping together before I left. I saw the signs of cheating while I was with him but ignored it. Anyways, I left him and I don't want him back. I don't love him. He beat me for 7 months straight even while I was pregnant with his kid. He tried to kill me many times. So no, there is no love there. What makes me mad is that what if he is good to his new fiance? What if he really does love her and treats her kind and does not control her? Does that mean that I brought out those evil things in him and she is really good for him? Well you see i'm wife number 6 and I was told by all his other wives that he beat them up to...So does that mean he will beat his new girl up? Half of me wants him to. The other half doesn't. The real reason I'm sad is because he found someone else and has moved on and he is in love. He is receiving affection and he is happy. I on the other hand, am single with 2 kids, alone, poor, sleeping on the floor, I have no clothes, I have no personal possessions. We are living like bums on the floor with barely any food. Yet he doesn't pay child support, won't send me any of my stuff. And he is happy....He is in love, has money, has clothes, has someone to hold him and kiss him. He sleeps on a bed. He has food to eat. We are barely surviving. He destroyed my life and made it possible for me to never be able to work again or go back to school. So I can't support myself or my kids. I'm alone, single and hurting. I lied and told them both that I was engaged and in love and happy finally. I wanted to hurt them. I wanted them to think that I have a better life than them. In reality they won. I am suffering, they are not. I am in misery, they are happy. Yet I can't let them think they won. Yet lying to them makes me cry because no one will ever love me again. I will only have one-night stands because i'm a single mother and not beautiful. I was single for 9 years before I met my husband. I know I won't find anyone else. I have never had luck with men. I guess if i want affection I just have to close my eyes and have a one-night stand, go home afterwards and cry. At least for 30 minutes, I'll feel desired. Maybe one day he will lose his new girl and never find love again. Maybe he will cheat on her and she will feel like crap. Like what she did to me...Maybe? A girl can dream.

 

 

Your post is heartbreaking. Yes, I'm sure he will cheat on her. And yes, I'm sure he will hurt her too. He has done none of the work in order to live a decent life as an honorable person. But, don't put any more time and energy into a loser of these proportions! You have children to take care of. So buck up! Call your nearest crisis center and tell them your story. They will help you get help for yourself and your children. ?They should be your top priority. You are the only one they have.