tkgirl Posted October 26, 2011 Posted October 26, 2011 (edited) so I have a question for the guys.. girls can chime in though too. I'm going out with a new guy tonight and we've been talking on the phone a lot the past few nights... I feel like we've built a little bit of a connection but we tonight is the first time we meet face to face. Anyho, I wasn't really too nervous to meet him but then he brought up this "seven second rule" thing last night. He said that he can tell within seven seconds when he first meets someone face to face whether or not there is a "connection". I know it takes me a little bit longer than that to warm up to someone! I mean, I get that the physical attraction thing is usually instant and if you're not attracted from the beginning then it's pretty much a done deal.. but he said, no it's more than an attraction thing... hmmm... just a bit confused and now I'm not sure I'm that excited to meet him, even though we've had some great conversations on the phone. Like my guard will be way up and all that... not how I like to start a first date! anyways.. anyone know what this guy is talking about? do a lot of guys think the same way? Edited October 26, 2011 by tkgirl
dasein Posted October 26, 2011 Posted October 26, 2011 Wow what an idiotic thing to say before meeting a new person. No, mature adults cannot tell in seven seconds whether there is a connection or not. They may be able to tell whether they find someone physically attractive enough to have sex very quickly though, but for most men, that's a relatively baseline criterion to meet... don't be fat.
kiss_andmakeup Posted October 26, 2011 Posted October 26, 2011 Seven seconds?! I hope he's joking, because that's just ridiculous. I adore my boyfriend, but felt nothing more than the typical "oh, he's cute" attraction within 7 seconds. I would worry a little bit about the mental health of anyone who decides he/she has a "connection" with someone in a matter of seconds.
oaks Posted October 26, 2011 Posted October 26, 2011 I don't watch rom-coms, but I imagine this is the sort of line that one of the characters might say near the beginning of the movie only to go on a 'journey' of character reformation and end up with the girl at the end when everyone lives happily ever after. Ask him after about 10 seconds whether you've passed the test, and only then should you offer to buy him a drink (or accept his offer to buy you one) so as to avoid wasting your/his time.
Star Gazer Posted October 26, 2011 Posted October 26, 2011 I personally feel like I know within 10-15 seconds whether I will likely want a second date (assuming he doesn't make an arse of himself thereafter), but I wouldn't say I know within that time whether there's a "connection." And I'd certainly never say that to a guy I'm about to meet! What an idiot.
Author tkgirl Posted October 26, 2011 Author Posted October 26, 2011 hey everyone! thanks for the responses so far I was also thinking it was a weird thing to say right before meeting someone.. like I wasn't sure how to take it at all. Maybe what I should do is when I first sit down with him start looking at my watch... and when seven seconds go by, be like "ok.. your seven seconds are up, it was nice meeting you!" and pretend to get up and leave. Hmm.. actually that's not a bad idea... see how he reacts to that!
Nexus One Posted October 26, 2011 Posted October 26, 2011 (edited) I've had it happen once with a girl that we seemingly both felt an instant connection and I'm pretty sure she felt it too given the way she behaved. We were standing somewhere waiting. She waited about one foot in front of me and turned her upper body and head towards me several times, then she looked into my eyes and I looked into hers and we kept deeply staring into each other's eyes for some time. She had these deep blue eyes, so deep blue like I've never seen before, they looked photoshopped, but they were not, neither did she have lenses. They looked blue like this, but without the brown parts in the iris: http://bit.ly/vepcMP In that moment I felt like I had known her for a very long time, even though I didn't, and that I "came home in her eyes" so to speak. We didn't say a thing to each other, but I could sense she was attracted to me and the gaze in her eyes expressed a sort of deep longing. I felt that she said with her eyes to me "I want you to become my significant other". At some point she had to leave and while walking away she turned around one more time and she had the saddest look on her face. And I intuitively knew why, because I didn't hit on her. I felt so f*cking bad about that in retrospect. I felt attracted to her, but this was in a period in my life where there was another girl which I was interested in and wanted to ask out, so I didn't hit on this one. Unfortunately the girl I was interested in disappeared from my life and I never saw the girl with the deep blue eyes again either. That really made me realize that sometimes you really only get one brief shot. Edited October 26, 2011 by Nexus One
norajane Posted October 26, 2011 Posted October 26, 2011 And I thought this thread was going to be about premature ejaculation!
Author tkgirl Posted October 26, 2011 Author Posted October 26, 2011 so I just got a text from mr. seven second very sweet.. said I hope you're having a great day, looking forward to meeting you tonight etc... and then added "and I'm going to ignore the seven second thing" hmmm... ok? guess he was trying to put me at ease... so I'll do my best to try to ignore it too now! I've had it happen once with a girl that we seemingly both felt an instant connection and I'm pretty sure she felt it too given the way she behaved. We were standing somewhere waiting. She waited about one foot in front of me and turned her upper body and head towards me several times, then she looked into my eyes and I looked into hers and we kept deeply staring into each other's eyes for some time. She had these deep blue eyes, so deep blue like I've never seen before, they looked photoshopped, but they were not, neither did she have lenses. They looked blue like this, but without the brown parts in the iris: http://bit.ly/vepcMP In that moment I felt like I had known her for a very long time, even though I didn't, and that I "came home in her eyes" so to speak. We didn't say a thing to each other, but I could sense she was attracted to me and the gaze in her eyes expressed a sort of deep longing. I felt that she said with her eyes to me "I want you to become my significant other". At some point she had to leave and while walking away she turned around one more time and she had the saddest look on her face. And I intuitively knew why, because I didn't hit on her. I felt so f*cking bad about that in retrospect. I felt attracted to her, but this was in a period in my life where there was another girl which I was interested in and wanted to ask out, so I didn't hit on this one. Unfortunately the girl I was interested in disappeared from my life and I never saw the girl with the deep blue eyes again either. That really made me realize that sometimes you really only get one brief shot. ahh... love at first sight... maybe that's what he was talking about too? While it sounds all romantic I'm not sure I believe in it anymore... all the times in the past I thought it might be that it ended up biting me in the butt... it's like we convince ourselves way too soon that we are "in love" when in reality it takes a while to really get to know someone... that it will really work out in the long haul. That's been experience anyways... And I thought this thread was going to be about premature ejaculation!
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