click1 Posted October 26, 2011 Posted October 26, 2011 (edited) Ok, well yours truly is the 36 year old. She is gorgeous, but 21 at the same time. Ive been down this road before too! For whatever reason begining in my late twenties the only girls Ive gone out with or that seem to show interest is the younger set. I think sometimes even if someone my age is interested that its possible that I just dont pick up on it. Younger woman seems to be less subtle I suppose? Please note that I do not go out and seek younger woman at all. For some reason every single girl Ive dated Ive met at work as opposed to meeting out. History is this...When I was 28 I met a 20 year old girl and we were together for 3 years. Second girlfriend (since late 20s until now) was 20 and I was 31, we too were together for 3 years. They both ultimately ended because the girls would inverably begin to change and have a tendency to start partying with new sets of friends they went on to meet. Usually I would just drop off the face of the earth after the breakup. Ive had a total of three LT girlfriends abd basically they all ended the same way. Now the first two tried to come back hard after a long period of time...after the party was over. My last ex hasnt yet but its only been a year and a half so who knows Needless to say I am pretty experienced with the younger set at this point in my life. So given what Ive said...should I go for it? Edited October 26, 2011 by click1
whichwayisup Posted October 26, 2011 Posted October 26, 2011 Well, what are you looking for? Something long term, in the sense of committment, leading to marriage? Chances are, a younger woman, especially at 21 isn't looking to get married and have kids..She's just starting out in life, establishing a career or just finishing college.. You seem to have a pattern going, so if you want to go for it, but expect the same results as before. You and this girl are in two different places in life..
Ajax Posted October 26, 2011 Posted October 26, 2011 A quote that is commonly attributed to Einstein is, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results." So if you decide to date a 21 year old, are you expecting different results? Do you want different results? Or are you just looking for a good time? I've had similar experiences dating girls in their early twenties. It's great for a while, but then they have the quarter life crisis at some point in the 23-25 range, and it all falls apart when they go off to "find themselves." I'm 28 and ready for something permanent, so my focus is on women closer to my age. If you're looking for something with more chance of a future I'd be cautious of getting involved with someone so much younger. And I've always found it creepy when women date men old enough to be there fathers. So I think you need to think carefully about what you want for the future. Weigh the pros and cons, risks and benefits, and go from there.
kiss_andmakeup Posted October 26, 2011 Posted October 26, 2011 History is this...When I was 28 I met a 20 year old girl and we were together for 3 years. Second girlfriend (since late 20s until now) was 20 and I was 31, we too were together for 3 years. They both ultimately ended because the girls would inverably begin to change and have a tendency to start partying with new sets of friends they went on to meet. Usually I would just drop off the face of the earth after the breakup. I was going to be the minority and say that it could work...until I read this part. It's obviously not working out for you. From age 20-23 I was in a relationship with my ex who was 31 when we began dating and 34 when we broke up. For the most part it was a healthy and loving relationship, until the end anyways, and we learned a lot from each other. However, and not to toot my own horn, but my belief is that girls in that age group (18-21) who are actually mature enough to have a strong, healthy, happy relationship with a man in his 30's (or any man for that matter), are in the vast minority. Therefore, given your past experience, I can't really understand why you'd keep trying something that obviously isn't working.
grkBoy Posted October 26, 2011 Posted October 26, 2011 It's all about if you can handle it, and can she. If you both live similar lifestyles and want the same things, then I can't see an issue. Maybe she's more mature than her age, or you're not as "old man thinking" as your age. I'll be honest, at 38 I would not say "no" to a younger woman, but I'd need to know we're on the same level mentally. If she's wanting to go out partying every week while I like to take it easy, then this won't work...but if she's not into the bars and clubs and more likes my lifestyle, then it can. Forget the ages and just determine if you two click on other levels.
Recommended Posts