di your feelings about your break up and ex change down the line

[k100danny]

Ive had a really strange couple of days, ive really missed my ex. we had lots of problems and i know i wasnt fully happy in the relationship, i argued and pushed her away and after we split it didnt end great and i held on. she moved on and has kissed someone else she has told me but isnt looking for or ready for a relationship.

 

Basically the last couple of days i have missed her a lot, ive missed the contact with someone and i did have everything sorted in my head before but i think now ive forgotten a lot of the reasons i wasnt happy and im looking at the good times. I have contacted her and said hi ect (we have tried to be friends but its been hard) but now i feel ive taken a step backward, i know she cant have been the right person for me or i wouldnt have always felt uneasy and started arguments ect so im unsure why i cant just think ok i wasnt happy, that made you unhappy and we didnt work im happy for you to move on?

 

Maybe im just feeling down and lonely at the minute and miss feeling special to someone. Ive tried talking with a lot of my female friends, this is how i got together with my ex, we were friends and it developed over around 6 months but there was always an attraction at some level. Ive tried to stay in contact more with my female friends thinking that is what i miss , someone to talk to about my day ect. im not sure if it feels different because my ex was genuinely interested or what?? maybe i need someone else to fully get over this relationship, i dont want to use anyone though but i still feel emotionally attached to some point. I know people say rebounds dont work but i really think it might help me.

[NordicStripes]

Actually, even though I'm against the idea of 'using' someone to get over my ex, I'm starting to feel the same way you do. Maybe if I can be with someone else, then I can really get over him, and fully realise that I won't be alone for the rest of my life.

 

The problem is that I'm very picky :-) I once had a rebound (with my other ex) and that wasn't nice at all... I felt really bad about it ... :-s

[sallyho]

hi im going through something similar to you the relationship i was in i wasnt happy we had alot of arguments mainy because i didnt think he was treating me right so we finally called it a day on monday. at the time i felt glad and relieved it was all over but now wednesday i feel terrible i just think of all the good times we had and how much i miss him but im not thinking of the horible things he done to me just the good times im so tempted to call him but i know deep in my heart if we go back all the problems will still be there so i think the best thing to do is just keep reminding ourselves why we broke up in the first place and get out and meet new people.no point going backwards we have to go forwards:p:rolleyes:

[k100danny]

Im starting to think it is what i need, i dont want to get attached to someone though and i also dont like the idea of using someone either. Maybe once i find myself attracted to someone in that way and think it can go somewhere then that is when my attachment will be broken.

 

At the moment i have been thinking about the good things, she was never actually bad to me until we broke up things got heated but we have both since appologised and said that we said things we dont mean. It was my jealousy and anxiety that pushed us appart, i tend to get attached quickly and i know this is something i have to deal with. She always liked me a lot more and persued me but i was hesitant, she was nice ect and i thought she was attractive but i wasnt sure if she was for me, then we start flirting, and after we get together i get attached really quickly and the anxiety and jealousy set in. I think this made her question how long the relationship would last.

 

I know that i will one day feel wanted again and that is probably the feeling i miss most, like you have someone. hopefully next time we will be a better match. and i will learnt to take things slow and not be as jealous. I think it's the not feeling important that really gets me now, i know she doesnt feel the same way as she did about me. I wouldnt be happy getting back together but i guess its just the thinking everything is gonna be ok and youve met someone then it doesnt work ou the way you want.

[NordicStripes]

k100danny, it's like you're my male twin! Uncanny how much we are alike!