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she has a new boyfriend i'm miserable

jacksonBrown

By jacksonBrown
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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jacksonBrown Established Member

jacksonBrown

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my ex and i of 3 years have been broken up for 5 months now and for the last 3 i have been just fine not depressed not thinking of her not contacting her then last Sunday which happened to be her birthday I decided i would check her Facebook maybe even say happy birthday BAD MISTAKE i saw that she now has a new boyfriend i saw comments about them sleeping together so i'm guessing its serious i'm so depressed its pathetic I've slept with other girls since our break up but i haven't been dating any of them i guess i still love this girl. anyway in my panic i msg'd her on face book just to let her know i still loved her and would she meet me for coffee i need to tell her something well that one msg turned into about six because she didn't reply to any of them i conffessed i still love her and that i had changed for the better all the usual stuff that people say when they are desperate.

 

What happend to me i was in such a good place untill i checked her facebook i'm miserable it literally took me back to day 1 of the break up i even cried for F sake. now i cant stop thinking about her and her new man i mean i havn't been on Love shack for atleast 3 months but here i am again miserable why do i care so much why cant i just get over her i should be happy for her right? I dunno i'm angry with myself for checking her facebook i was really happy lately now i'm deflated and just down right miserable i dont evan wanna see my friends arrrhhhh i know time heals all wounds but i just started from day one again. man heart ache is the worst!

 

sorry for the rant

MizHoney2U Member

MizHoney2U

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My heart goes out to you... however I hope you wont send any more texts or do any FB checking. There's not much to say except that if you're back at day one... at least you know it will get better. just do not go picking at old wounds again.

 

Be well and good luck

EgoJoe Established Member

EgoJoe

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Well, you won't be doing that again. Defriend, block etc.

 

We've all been there...to a degree. Walk it off. You'll laugh about it eventually.

ken_25 Established Member

ken_25

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my ex and i of 3 years have been broken up for 5 months now and for the last 3 i have been just fine not depressed not thinking of her not contacting her then last Sunday which happened to be her birthday I decided i would check her Facebook maybe even say happy birthday BAD MISTAKE i saw that she now has a new boyfriend i saw comments about them sleeping together so i'm guessing its serious i'm so depressed its pathetic I've slept with other girls since our break up but i haven't been dating any of them i guess i still love this girl. anyway in my panic i msg'd her on face book just to let her know i still loved her and would she meet me for coffee i need to tell her something well that one msg turned into about six because she didn't reply to any of them i conffessed i still love her and that i had changed for the better all the usual stuff that people say when they are desperate.

 

What happend to me i was in such a good place untill i checked her facebook i'm miserable it literally took me back to day 1 of the break up i even cried for F sake. now i cant stop thinking about her and her new man i mean i havn't been on Love shack for atleast 3 months but here i am again miserable why do i care so much why cant i just get over her i should be happy for her right? I dunno i'm angry with myself for checking her facebook i was really happy lately now i'm deflated and just down right miserable i dont evan wanna see my friends arrrhhhh i know time heals all wounds but i just started from day one again. man heart ache is the worst!

 

sorry for the rant

 

Ouch, sorry man. Don't be so hard on yourself. I feel that many of us who aren't that far out of relationships that are around a year or more are very fragile. I'm 15 weeks out or so of being dumped after 3 1/2 years, and there being someone else. Well, I could be doing just fine and then one little thing happens and I'm down again. However this isn't one little thing, no one likes seeing this. Here's the thing, it ISN'T day 1 all over again. You will rebound from this much faster than when the relationship ended. Time does heal all, don't think that it's going to take another 3-5 months to get back to the point you were at.

 

Just let it all out, you had a set back, most of us do and it's going to get better.

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jacksonBrown Established Member

jacksonBrown

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thanks guys yeh i guess i was holding onto false hope that we would get back together we were very close and the break up was very hard on both of us i just thort she would stay single a while ya know but your right its not day one again i will get over it and no more false hope i guess its a good thing as for now gotta keep my mind occupied on other things, there is that little factor of me still being in love with her but that will pass too i guess man im a sook when it comes to girls :o

nature Established Member

nature

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I know how you feel, as my ex moved on fairly quickly after and was dating a new girl, who 2 years later, he's still dating. And to this day, it still stings when i see them together. I have dated, etc but have not found anyone I want to move into a serious relationship with. I was very hurt when my relationship ended and needed time to heal. While he just went merrily along and got into a serious relationship. I don't know how he did it, but he did and is still in it. But for me, we had been together almost 4 years, were engaged and it was very serious. He ripped my heart apart when it ended. And it hurt even more that within the first year of it ending, he was still contacting me, and then I found out he was dating someone else. He stopped contacting me as soon as he started dating her. I know how much it hurts. I do. There are no words to make it feel better. But for yourself, maybe try to be thankful that you are taking this time to heal. Your ex isn't. She's not dealing with all the feelings and issues that surround a break up of that many years together. I have a feeling, just because I'm a girl and I know girls, that in a few years time it will all hit her. Women tend to have to mourn the loss of a relationship, and if they don't do it immediately after the breakup, they do it years later. I've seen this happen to many of my girlfriends. Take care of yourself. If you can, please have the strength to remove her from facebook. It is not healthy for you. I know for me, everytime I see them together, even now after 2 years apart, it still hurts. don't torture yourself wiht facebook, especially if she is ignoring all your messages. You don't need to be on her facebook.

 

Can I ask, why did you two break up and who broke up with who? Was she angry at the end? Could she be spiting you right now by "showing you" that she'll get a new boyfriend and be happier than you?

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jacksonBrown Established Member

jacksonBrown

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I know how you feel, as my ex moved on fairly quickly after and was dating a new girl, who 2 years later, he's still dating. And to this day, it still stings when i see them together. I have dated, etc but have not found anyone I want to move into a serious relationship with. I was very hurt when my relationship ended and needed time to heal. While he just went merrily along and got into a serious relationship. I don't know how he did it, but he did and is still in it. But for me, we had been together almost 4 years, were engaged and it was very serious. He ripped my heart apart when it ended. And it hurt even more that within the first year of it ending, he was still contacting me, and then I found out he was dating someone else. He stopped contacting me as soon as he started dating her. I know how much it hurts. I do. There are no words to make it feel better. But for yourself, maybe try to be thankful that you are taking this time to heal. Your ex isn't. She's not dealing with all the feelings and issues that surround a break up of that many years together. I have a feeling, just because I'm a girl and I know girls, that in a few years time it will all hit her. Women tend to have to mourn the loss of a relationship, and if they don't do it immediately after the breakup, they do it years later. I've seen this happen to many of my girlfriends. Take care of yourself. If you can, please have the strength to remove her from facebook. It is not healthy for you. I know for me, everytime I see them together, even now after 2 years apart, it still hurts. don't torture yourself wiht facebook, especially if she is ignoring all your messages. You don't need to be on her facebook.

 

Can I ask, why did you two break up and who broke up with who? Was she angry at the end? Could she be spiting you right now by "showing you" that she'll get a new boyfriend and be happier than you?

 

the break up was pretty mutual we just grew sick of eachother i took her for granted big time i told her i think we should break up its not gonna work out then within 2 days i was begging her back but she stuck to her guns, and we didn't get back together wat hurts most is over the 5 months we have got together a couple of times told eachother we were still in love but she just couldn't get back with me her family doesn't like me (long story) and that was only 6 weeks ago we last caught up, i wont deny i did say some nasty things the last time she left i called her a bitch, but i was still in love with her then when i checked her profile 3 days ago pictures of her and the new guy taking road trip together and sending xxxx to eachother ripped my heart out i'm useless my mind is on it non stop it really feels like day one all over again, i blocked her from facebook but i did send 6 msg to her and she never got back to one of them all i wanted was a reply that she was happy with her new BF and for me to move on but she didn't evan give me that just nothing... she was my first real love i feel i'l always have a spot for her in my heart which sucks coz at the moment i want to forget her

Chi townD Established Member

Chi townD

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This is a great example of why I always preach on about blocking Ex's from Facebook.

 

Hang in there, dude! I know that this probably set you back to square one. But, it will get better.

musicSaves12 Member

musicSaves12

Posted
Posted

Hang in there pal just like everyone has said you will bounce back from this. I saw my ex a couple days ago when I went out to eat with my friends and I felt sick but I didn't leave and I didn't text her the next day or anything. Now I feel fine again. It will be hard sometimes but you will feel better soon.

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