Asking for emotional support

[eerie_reverie]

I found out my dad needs emergency heart surgery today and I'm pretty stressed. I dread going home and being alone. Is it appropriate to ask my bf to sleep over? We spend almost every night together, but I am the one making the trips. I invited him without going into details as to why I need him to and he said he was tired.

[Highness]

If he's your boyfriend you should be able to share with him when you're stressed or upset. Tell him why you need company and I'm sure he will be straight over.

[Eddie Edirol]

If you wanted your bf to stay with you because of your dad, you need to say so, The test youre trying to do is a dirty manipulative way for you to gauge your relationship. If you really wanted to be with him, you would go to his place like you normally do. If you think he isnt that into you because he doesnt want to make the trip to see you, youre probably right. Of course hes gonna say hes too tired when its any ordinary day with no emergencies.

 

Instead of testing him, how bout going to the hospital and stay with your dad? Um sure he is stressed out and needs the support too.

[carhill]

IMO, fill your BF in and get to dad's side if possible. BF will know what to do. You're a couple. Prayers and best wishes for a positive outcome.

[Duckduckgoose]

My exH (back when we were dating) had a similar experience... one of his friends/neighbors tried to commit suicide. They found the guy hanging in his closet by a shoelace around the neck. My exH was on of the ones that found him.

 

Even though I had just got off work at 1am and had class that next morning at 8am, I let him come stay the night and talk about it, etc.

 

Even if they're tired, they can understand you are scared and need support and should be willing to give it.

 

Its okay to ask for his support at a time like this.

[Star Gazer]

I would share with him the reason why you NEED him there (as opposed to wanting). If he just thinks it's any old day, I'd understand him not wanting to because he's tired. But if he knows why, bet he'll come running.

 

And hugs to you, girl. I hope everything turns out okay. (((ER)))

[johan]

While the thing with your dad is a big deal, it should be enough to get your guy to come over and be with you if you simply said you needed him tonight. As long as you don't pull that on him all the time. Otherwise, I'd say he hardly qualifies as a boyfriend.

[AHardDaysNight]

If he was any kind of boyfriend, he'd get his ass over there as soon as he's heard.

 

I'm sorry about your dad, eerie. My thoughts are with you.

[threebyfate]

Sending some good vibes to you and your father. My fingers are crossed that he will come through fine. Modern medicine can work miracles with heart/bypass surgery.

 

As for your b/f, I agree with johan. Since you're the one always making the effort to stay with him, a simple request with emphasis on need should be enough to have him come running.

[sunshinegirl]

Sending good thoughts your way. Hope all goes/went well for your dad.

 

As for your BF, I'm puzzled by what sounds like your "hiding the ball." Was your BF supposed to read your mind that there's an emergency and you need him?

 

Not cool to 'test' him in that way (if that's what you were doing, even subconsciously). If you need him, point blank say so and tell him why. Not understanding why blurting out "my dad's unexpectedly going into surgery!" wasn't the first thing out of your mouth when you talked to him.

[eerie_reverie]

Thanks for the good vibes. My dads suegery went well and he is recovering . My bf has also been very supportive.

[Stung]

I'm glad to hear the positive update. Best of luck to your family, ER.

[carhill]

Thanks for the update and happy to read that all is going well.