ThinkPink218 Posted October 26, 2011 Posted October 26, 2011 My ex and I went NC for a month, but he recently texted me to see how I'm doing. I replied very maturely and let the convo fade. But eventually he started to text me more over the course of a few days, even asking personal things like "who I'm talking to" or even if I can send him pictures. Mind you he's been talking to a new girl for a year now (which was right after we broke up). Anyway, I ignored those comments and stood my ground by not entertaining them or him. But eventually *I got offended by the way he was talking to me as if I was some toy. I told him if we were going to be friends then to treat me like one and not some type of sexual entertainment. He then said we shouldn't communicate (mind u he contacted me 1st) because I will catch feelings again and he doesn't want to lead me on and that he only asks me for pics as a joke. I'm pissed. I can't help but feel like crap. I keep having these "why wasn't I good enough when I did everything to make him happy" feelings. Especially since he's been trying so hard with this new girl who he's having the SAME problems as he had with me with. What makes her so much better and why am I being treated like anything? The worst feeling is that he doesn't seem to care how I feel and it hurts.* I'm starting up NC again and I'm glad i kept my pride and dignity by not entertaining him, but I'm just annoyed with how he treats me now. He keeps doing this....says we can't be friends, we go NC, he texts me to see how things are and then wants to get personal but I don't agree and then this cycle continues. He claims he doesn't want to lead me on and doesn't want anything with me so *why is it so hard for him to just treat me like a friend? Although I'm not sure I want him as one.... I did so much to be there and make him happy and show him how much I cared when we were together and he just gave up for the next best thing only to have the same problems with her yet still try. Why wasn't I good enough?*
fallenenvy Posted October 26, 2011 Posted October 26, 2011 If the guy is having the same relationship problems with her as with you.. doesn't that point to it being an issue with him (him being the common denominator)? I don't think its that your not good enough; it's clearly that he has some issues with himself. Him feeling the need to bother you but then tell you he doesn't want you falling for him again blah blah blah points to him needing to feel better about himself.... seeing if he can still get anything out of you. When you push him back (and might i say GOOD FOR YOU!) it frustrates him he isn't getting what he wants and he backs off. It probably won't last with her either and he will continue the cycle with the next woman. Stay strong and stop thinking there is anything wrong with you. Next time he initiates contact (and i know this is the hard part) ignore him as you have learned several times it just isn't worth getting into it with him again as you know the end result.. man has problems with himself and wants to drag you down to. He doesn't care how you are doing.. he just wants a rise out of you or to drag you down or whatever he is looking for to make himself feel better.
Author ThinkPink218 Posted October 26, 2011 Author Posted October 26, 2011 Thanks @fallenenvy you're right! It's just so hard. We used to be really good friends and for things to be this way between us now just hurts. I'll try and stay strong. Thanks for the advice!
k100danny Posted October 26, 2011 Posted October 26, 2011 This is not a case of you being not good enough at all. it comes down to needs, some people dont know what they want or need and it sounds like this guy doesnt have a clue. he feels comfortable and he is probably looking to you to give him the feelings you once did. you did the right thing, remember that not being good enough is never the case, you are who you are and he is who he is. you will find someone more compatible and you wont even feel you have to work to be good enough, you alone will be good enough.
Author ThinkPink218 Posted October 26, 2011 Author Posted October 26, 2011 Yea ur right @k100danny but why does he have to treat me like anything now? While we were still together this girl game into the picture and I guess presented herself to him to be the next best thing and as SOON as we broke up he jumped on that opportunity. What gets me is that the same issues we had in our relationship are what they have now although they aren't together, but yet he constantly keeps trying with her. Why did he give up on me when I did so much to show him I cared only to have the same problems with a girl he's talking to and not with? And then for him to say we can't be friends then continue to contact me after a few days or weeks and ask for pictures "as a joke" and then say we can't be friends when I say no baffles me. What is his purpose? I'm really hurt that I get treated like this now, we really did have something good going on. I thought he was "the one." why was it so easy for him to just let me go like this and not even care how I'm hurting?? Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh
Author ThinkPink218 Posted October 26, 2011 Author Posted October 26, 2011 I'm just feeling down about this all...
fallenenvy Posted October 26, 2011 Posted October 26, 2011 I know its hard but you'll get through it and be all the better. Just think that although it doesn't feel like it right now the day will come where all the pain is gone and someone will be making you way happier than you could've known was possible and you'll look back and wonder why you let him get to you so much. Stay strong!
kittenkit Posted October 26, 2011 Posted October 26, 2011 Well done for keeping No Contact for a month. Keep it up now! I hate it when people try and pass off things as a joke because they know they've said something wrong - grrrrr. Jokes are funny! Or they're not jokes. But that's just my personal pet hate - lol As someone else said - his new relationship has problems too - he's the common denominator - therefore it's him. You could have been the most perfect person in the world - it wouldn't have made any difference. Don't let him mess you about. If he's confused and making crappy "jokes" like that he's just going to drag you down. Cut him off! Let him drag someone else down. You ARE good enough. But he's not the guy who's good enough for you. It's easy to say to someone else, but difficult to believe for yourself. You'll get there though xx
AlisaMarie Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 My ex has been bouncing between me and this other pathetic girl for a year. When he's with me she's low and feels not good enough.. then he goes to her then I don't feel good enough and she's on cloud 9. Guess what... these guys that do this to women and string people along are sheer idiots. You are TOO good honey... period. Don't talk to him anymore.
Author ThinkPink218 Posted October 27, 2011 Author Posted October 27, 2011 @alisamarie sucks doesn't it? I'm considering changing my number or something. Just can't get over how he treats me now, like I'm nothing...
AlisaMarie Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 @alisamarie sucks doesn't it? I'm considering changing my number or something. Just can't get over how he treats me now, like I'm nothing... I am seriously getting hit hard with reality in these threads because I have been doing this for 2 years with the same fool. He projects me as the person to ruin the relationship because I am a bitch... but he's creating problems so he has every justification to be with stupid girl #2. I am stupid girl #1. He is on my phone plan. I called the phone co today and asked them to pull his line, they are calling. I would just drop his line but I don't want to pay the fee. I am going to change my number as soon as all is said and done. I let myself be a doormat with someone that LIED to my face, projected his own guilt on to me, and was mentally and somewhat physically abusive. He only dated this girl for a couple weeks max, so she only saw his pretty side. I will NEVER take him back so I am hoping that she will see all of him and give up her title of stupid girl #2. It's not my problem anymore. I feel sad today.. and was sad yesterday but after all the abuse, I am numb to it and so relieved that I can FINALLY move on. He's so dumb and he doesn't even know it. He treats you like nothing because he is nothing. The only way to make this right for you is to move on for yourself. Don't EVER let them see you sweating it!!!!
Author ThinkPink218 Posted October 27, 2011 Author Posted October 27, 2011 Hang in there Alisa! We will get through this!
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