Ouch_that_hurts Posted October 25, 2011 Posted October 25, 2011 Hi, everyone. -Three year relationship -- finished exactly one year ago when she walked away, no reason, nothing, and no word from her ever after; -She cheated once, and left me twice during the relationship; - NC for six months, or so; - then e-mails and texts start coming from her. She graduated from university last May, and moved far away for the first time, and I received frequent texts about how I was doing, among other things. Lately, she has published old photos (taken following sex) of me in arts publications, telling me she "always thought I had the face of a model." Woke up one night to a text containing an old poem we both loved; lastly, received an e-mail from her stating that she "really misses me," "everything makes her think of me," and that she's coming home, and wants to talk on phone. My wounds are wide open, and it kills, and I know you all know something about it, too, from your own experiences. My issue is the proverbial second chance coming and going, coming and going, seemingly proposed by her attempts to contact me. I get suckered in, no matter how resolute I try to be, and tell her that I still miss her just as much as ever, and then she goes "cold." I don't know what I'm looking for, here, from you all. I guess I wonder, mostly, why someone who treated me so cruelly at one point in the relationship, and walked away so readily (without fuss on my part... I had had enough by the time she left for good...) would want to contact me so often, and use that kind of rhetoric -- "I really miss you; everything makes me think of you"; and love poetry via text? I know she's not coming back. I just don't know why she would want anything to do with me. What's her point? It hurts.
pinkie Posted October 26, 2011 Posted October 26, 2011 My opinion... she needs an ego boost. She probably does miss you, she probably has doubts about her decision.... but the thing that gets her, is that you haven't cracked. You haven't called, texted, emailed, etc.. Just ignore her. Keep your head up. Sounds like you were miserable anyway... Hope you feel better soon.
Author Ouch_that_hurts Posted October 26, 2011 Author Posted October 26, 2011 Thank you, Pinkie. Sweet of you to say. I often think about the situation like this: all of the girls with whom I've broken up have not heard from me, again. I "did the leaving," and felt absolutely no urge to keep in contact, even a year later, let alone going out of my way to offer the sort-of "miss you -- think about you" connection-y type of vibe. I was finished, the relationship was finished, and I really wasn't interested in messing with their feelings. It has always been nice to see these girls years later, when they are with someone else, or whatnot. But, I can't put myself in my ex-girlfriend's shoes, post-breakup. Once I was gone in relationships that I ended, I was gone -- there was absolutely nothing left to say or harbor, you know? What's she harboring? What's her deal?! (These questions are more or less rhetorical.)
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