ech Posted October 25, 2011 Posted October 25, 2011 You all have been a great help so far, so I need some advice on two more things. First my bf's son- we have been together for 2 months. Things are serious, thinking about moving in together ect... we both have sons the same age (10). My son adores him. His son hates me:( I am not sure why. I think he is just going through alot, his mom just got remarried this past weekend and he probably feels I am taking his dad away. But he is SO mean to me. Calls me a loser, throws stuff at me ect. All in "fun" but it is still annoying and hurtful. I have been the "adult" so far, but my bf does nothing about it. Should I say something? I would never let my son so that to him. Second- My bf acts "hot n cold" sometimes. I dont know what to think of it. Sometimes he is so affectionate towards me and other times he talks to me like I am one of his buddies. Is that normal? Thanks!!!!
AHardDaysNight Posted October 25, 2011 Posted October 25, 2011 How old are both of you? Is it possible that your boyfriend is emotionally immature?
Author ech Posted October 25, 2011 Author Posted October 25, 2011 I am 38, and he is 36. So I dont think thats it. He says he is ready to settle down, wants to get married again someday. But at the same time he told me he is going to Florida when his son graduates with or without me. Hopefully I will go with him he said, but those are his plans.
AHardDaysNight Posted October 25, 2011 Posted October 25, 2011 He is almost 40, and he's acting like a high school teenager. Midlife crisis? I'd definitely say that he is emotionally immature. At the very least, he should be telling his son to respect you, as his girlfriend and possible future wife, and he is not doing that.
make me believe Posted October 25, 2011 Posted October 25, 2011 You guys are moving WAY too fast. Especially since you have a kid, you should be a little more careful about who you let into his life, what boyfriends you introduce him to, etc. Somebody who is hot & cold with you after only two months is NOT somebody who you should already be bringing around your child, let alone considering moving in with him! Also, your boyfriend doing nothing about his son's behavior shows a serious lack in parenting skills and care in my opinion. His son is probably having a very hard time dealing with his mom getting remarried & his dad all of a sudden having a new live-in girlfriend & potential stepson. Your boyfriend doesn't seem to care about how hard this would be on a 10 year old kid. I see lots of red flags here.
Author ech Posted October 25, 2011 Author Posted October 25, 2011 I agree about the parenting skills- he took him to hooters for this 10th birthday;) He really does treat me good, but then this stuff pops up.
AHardDaysNight Posted October 25, 2011 Posted October 25, 2011 I agree about the parenting skills- he took him to hooters for this 10th birthday;) He really does treat me good, but then this stuff pops up. Whoa! Run as fast as you can away from this moron!
Pierre Posted October 25, 2011 Posted October 25, 2011 You all have been a great help so far, so I need some advice on two more things. First my bf's son- we have been together for 2 months. Things are serious, thinking about moving in together ect... we both have sons the same age (10). My son adores him. His son hates me:( I am not sure why. I think he is just going through alot, his mom just got remarried this past weekend and he probably feels I am taking his dad away. But he is SO mean to me. Calls me a loser, throws stuff at me ect. All in "fun" but it is still annoying and hurtful. I have been the "adult" so far, but my bf does nothing about it. Should I say something? I would never let my son so that to him. Second- My bf acts "hot n cold" sometimes. I dont know what to think of it. Sometimes he is so affectionate towards me and other times he talks to me like I am one of his buddies. Is that normal? Thanks!!!! Two months does not mean serious. Moving in together does not mean serious. Where do you get that idea? The kid has lost the mother to another man and he is age 10. At this age we are talking some serious Oedipus complex. The kid has basically been hurt to the core by his mother. Now he only has his dad and here you come to take him away as well. What did you expect????? Your son may be different because he is looking for a father figure and you BF can provide that role. BTW, do not introduce your BFs to your son. He may befriend this men and then become disappointed when you break up. This is hurtful for a boy looking for a father figure.
Pierre Posted October 25, 2011 Posted October 25, 2011 I agree about the parenting skills- he took him to hooters for this 10th birthday;) He really does treat me good, but then this stuff pops up. The pot calling the kettle black. Are you kidding!!! The example you are giving your son by planning to "move in" is much more egregious. A visit to Hooters where the waitresses simply wear shorts is nothing. You see much more skin in the beach or during the summer in any open shopping mall.
dasein Posted October 25, 2011 Posted October 25, 2011 Two months, too soon, too fast for people with children to start moving in together talk. Put the brakes on.
Pierre Posted October 25, 2011 Posted October 25, 2011 Two months, too soon, too fast for people with children to start moving in together talk. Put the brakes on. I agree! It seems some people do not give a S***t about their kids.
Ilovewater Posted October 26, 2011 Posted October 26, 2011 I agree with the other posters. You two are moving way too fast, especially when both of you have young kids! Two months is nothing! You have to be careful about whom you introduce into your son's life. First of all, your son is probably looking for a father figure and model. Are you sure your new boyfriend is capable to being a suitable father figure for your son? He can't even discipline his own son, and he thinks taking his 10 yo son to Hooters is a good idea.... Second of all, you are introducing your boyfriend to your son so early! He's already attached to your new boyfriend! What if things don't work out between you and your boyfriend? Your son's going to be heartbroken and disappointed. I think as parents, you guys have to put your kids before your dating life and act more carefully.
Author ech Posted October 26, 2011 Author Posted October 26, 2011 Back the truck up people. For you to suggest I do not give a **** about my kid is absurd. Dont judge me. Thats not fair. Just by the little info I give you on here you cannot call me a bad mother. I am a great mother, I raised 3 kids on my own one whom is Autistic and they said he would never read or write and because I chose not to accept that, he is in reg ed now in high school. So dont judge. I do agree with not introducing men to my kids, he is only the 2nd. And I am very scared of my kids getting to close to him and things not working out. Thats why I am asking for advice, not asking to be attacked. NOBODY is perfect, including you.
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