Conundrummer Posted October 25, 2011 Posted October 25, 2011 I know this is vague but give it your best shot. If i get alot of responses I may very well find something useful. I don't know if i love my girlfriend. We mostly get along, but share no hobbies or interests. With college ending I need to know If i should leave her or stay with her.
oaks Posted October 25, 2011 Posted October 25, 2011 I don't know if i love my girlfriend. Does anything like this ever happen? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQbqy2NsNNk
confused kitty Posted October 25, 2011 Posted October 25, 2011 IMO I think the defenition of love is different for everyone.. For me, its when you feel like you'd do anything for the person, if u genuinely enjoy spending time with them and look forward to it and when youve been away from one another that you miss them and feel excited about seeing them again.. Its about trust, its about compassion and understanding its about honesty and being best friends aswell as lovers, feeling like you can talk to eachother about anything and most important for me is feeling totally comfortable and at ease around them... I dont think the fact that you have no shared hobbies is a deal breaker if everything else feels good about the relationship, as everyone needs time to themselves, and my hobbies are just that - ME time! While a partner or relationship should never define a person I think they should make your life more enjoyable.. Hope this was of some use to you
RiverRunning Posted October 25, 2011 Posted October 25, 2011 Are you certain you don't have any shared interests or hobbies? I had that with my ex, and after a while we had NOTHING to talk about. But even things like watching the same shows, reading similar books, etc., can be something to get going on. I'm going to guess you're young. As you get older too, you realize that having a LOT in common media-wise is not the end-all. Having a similar life philosophy and approach to issues in life (kids/education/guns/moral issues/etc.) is a lot more important than if you both like tennis or enjoy going biking. But you can take it upon yourself to start investigating other possibilities. Google "date ideas" or "lists of hobbies" and start working your way through. You and your girlfriend can make a list of things you'd both like to try and go for it. Maybe she's into rock-climbing. Maybe you're a laser tag expert. Who knows until you try together, right? I think we're all trained to think that love is like what you see in the movies. It's not. I don't feel a rush like I'm about to fall over when my partner works in from work. I do get excited. I do check the clock and think, "In an hour, he's going to be home." It's not dread. It's anticipation. I think when you find yourself doing that...when you think about your life without her (and you can't imagine it)...when you think about your future with her (and it sounds good or at least OK), and you find yourself happy in her presence, that you're probably in love. The 'love' I felt early in my relationship was a constant rush of excitement - we were learning so much about each other, trying all sorts of new things together. Dopamine rush. After years, you find that fades into a sort of complacency and contentment. And I don't mean that in a bad way. But I think too often people assume they've fallen out of love when that happens.
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