Why am I being attacked just because I want a sexy, successful man?

October 25, 2011

I don't need to justify my taste. I possess all the qualities I am looking for, which is why I am frustrated that I can't find an equivalent.

That's not how it works. It doesn't matter if you posses all the qualities you are looking for, it matters if you possess all the qualities he is looking for.

An attractive, successful guy, who has integrity, honesty, compassion, leadership, and all the other things I'd guess you're looking for, probably wants a twentysomething blonde with D cups, a tiny waist, an excellent temperament and unselfish nature. If that's you, great, you'll find someone soon enough. If it's not, you'll have to either work on improving yourself or change your standards.

October 25, 2011

Managing money is very important. People can call me cheap all they want but I had my house paid off by age 29. I also have no car payments and no credit card bills. Car insurance and property taxes are very high in NJ but that is another story.

That is awesome!

Stick to your wife... otherwise that all goes away.

October 25, 2011

There are different types of wealthy men. There are wealthy men that wouldn't mind if their SO uses them as an ATM machine and there are wealthy men who would mind, because they want an SO to love them FOR THEM.

If you want to use a guy as an ATM machine to go shopping for the latest Chanel bag, then it would be fair to date guys that are ok with that kind of dynamic. To be honest though, with those kind of guys you'd probably be trading sex in exchange for using their credit card.

There are also wealthy men that look for real love, they don't want an SO to love them for their money in the bank, but for who they are. If what you want is to spend their money, then you shouldn't date those kind of guys, it wouldn't be fair to them.

So it depends on what kind of dynamic you want with a guy and then date a guy that is compatible with what you want and is ok with that dynamic.

October 25, 2011

I didn't read beyond the first post because I already know what everyone has said without reading it!

To both sexes I say, "Wanting and getting are two separate things."

As my mother used to say, "If wishes were horses, beggars would ride."

October 25, 2011

OP, your sense of entitlement is blatant in all of your threads. If you can't see that - and I believe you can't - you have even more problems.

Your use of the phrase "high standards" is also misleading and potentially offensive. You are sort of implying that other standards are not high. For example, my standards, which are nothing like that. You have your criteria, it's not negotiable, I get it. But being a "pretty" sex, housekeeping and meal provider for someone you don't feel love for, in exchange for $$ does not fit MY definition of "high" standards. You are describing a typical kept woman. Which is fine, if it works for you. But does not exemplify any type of "high standards."

On a different subject, of course I know that well compensated "kept" women and trophy girlfriends exist. You, however, have said that you've been on dates with guys who can't even buy their own beer. I propose that you are not even playing in the same field with the girls who really CAN get some handsome, sexy and rich guy to pay for all of their stuff. You might consider playing in that field, and see how you measure up, rather than dating guys who can't buy a beer and then complaining about how they don't measure up to your "high standards."

October 25, 2011

That is awesome!

Stick to your wife... otherwise that all goes away.

Very true. Having her to share it with makes it ten times better.

October 25, 2011

I think the reality for FS is, if she's not finding the type of guy she wants - it's because those guys don't want what she has to offer.

October 25, 2011

Well, she better find what she's looking for fast. What she has to offer in this particular barter (sex, housekeeping, cooking in exchange for being financially supported like a princess) is pretty finite, when there is no question of starting a family or even of love between the two people involved.

The one with the money will be able to buy a new one whenever the spirit so moves them. And will have no reason not to. He probably has "high standards" too.

October 25, 2011

I'm not even going to waste my life going through the four pages.

FrustratedStandards, you need to stop worrying what people on these boards and on Facebook say. I remember the other topic posted, and I still believe it's in the delivery...meaning how you say it.

On the internet, there are a lot of people who can't find love, and possibly fail miserably at finding it. So they'll lash out when a man says he wants a hot young woman, or at a woman who says she wants a hot man and/or a successful man.

I always refer to my words on standards: Standards are only good to have if you can attain such a mate. Basically you can have your laundry list of standards and qualifications, but if you cannot come up with such a person who fits those standards, then they might be unrealistic.

HOWEVER...I also think if one can say "I'll happily die alone before I settle for less than what I want", then one can't criticize the man or woman in question. If he/she is willing to live and die alone before getting with someone they're not into, then they made their choice.

I won't fault FrustratedStandards for wanting a good looking successful guy. I'll fault the guys who get mad that women want that when it's within those men to be those guys. The guys who slacked on their careers, or decided to never take chances, or they don't even hit the gym or learn fashion sense. It's the same as when I'll fault women who seemingly want a "reformed bad boy". When they want a guy that honestly would never want them.

FrustratedStandards, just stop worrying about it. If your friends tell you that you're too picky, then just tell them "yes...and I'd rather die alone than settle"

I would only give you flack if you complained to me that there are no good men out there and you want to get married and have a family badly...but won't pick from your available dating pool.

Until then, it's a free country, and every man and woman on this board has a right to make demands. Whether or not they get those demands is up to them.

If a fat single mom working as a waitress with a psycho ex wants some tall athletic good-looking successful male, she can ask for it...doesn't mean she'll get it. She can complain, but it's really on her to see how many red flags she has that keep her from the man she wants.

Same thing with guys. Look in the mirror, look at your life. If you work a crappy job, have no fashion sense, no social skills, live in a crappy area when it comes to single women, have no life, and other red flags, then take some accountability for your singledom before playing the victim.

October 25, 2011

Just came back from an AMAZING date. This guy seems to be what i'm looking for, but first impressions aren't always the right ones.

I guess we shall see

October 25, 2011

Contrary to popular opinion most successful men do not just care about having the hottest chick they can get. This is why women who claim they are hot and sexy complain that they can't find the rich guy they are looking for. They don't bring anything to the table other than looking hot and to top it off some of them think they should be treated like the Queen of Sheba because of that fact.

Most successful men look for much more than that in a mate.

jamie dimon and wife

http://msnbcmedia.msn.com/i/MSNBC/Components/Slideshows/_production/ss-110119-statedinner/ss-110119-statedinner-13.jpg

bill gates' wife

http://www.nydailynews.com/img/2009/03/05/alg_melinda_gates.jpg

lloyd blankfein's wife

http://www.newyorksocialdiary.com/i/partypictures/08_06_09/diary/LLBlankfein_050808.jpg

these women look pretty plain to me. and their husbands haven't traded them in for 25 year olds it seems.

October 25, 2011

of course not, look at these men! the woman are hotter than they are

October 25, 2011

of course not, look at these men! the woman are hotter than they are

I wouldn't say that, honestly. The first dude has a full head of hair, a nice face, and the last guy's not bad looking for someone with NO hair. All three couples seem pretty even to me.

And I like how you said that everyone settles, and everyone subconciously wants a hottie when they "settled" for the average "plain jane"..

Here's a random google image I found of your stereotypical "hot" blonde model - Now, she's probably got a pleasant, symmetrical face underneath the airbrushing and the professional touches, but she's VERY skinny, and there are a million other girls out there of all temperaments and life codes with different views on life.

There IS no universally accepted image of beauty. Am I going to kiss the ground she walks on because she looks good? Sadly, lots of people lack back bones and will kiss this average fairly good looking girl's ass. To me, this girl is a plain jane, no better than the non-deformed girls that are considered uglier than her. People are all naturally attractive on the outside, can't say the same on the inside of course.

EVERYONE is average. It's all about perception. What you think is a plain jane is probably just as good looking as whom you consider a goddess, just different in their own ways. Physical deformities and asymetrical/extreme features aside, 90% of people are attractive to some extent. I wouldn't say anyone's ugly, facially. Some people might have their face hidden underneath fat because of laziness and gluttony or because of something they cannot help, and I feel for both of them (for different reasons, of course..)

Physical features do not necessarily make sex greater anyway, I think it's really just a mental conditioning thing that one might associate certain characteristics with physical pleasure that may not have existed had they not had these preconceived notions, but even then everyone will consider different features and looks to be pleasurable. You can't see things through other people, so don't try to act like you know how others feel.

October 25, 2011

of course not, look at these men! the woman are hotter than they are

The first woman is attractive, but the second and third, not so much.

October 25, 2011

The first woman is attractive, but the second and third, not so much.

Goes to show how each person's perception plays a part in all of these subjective judgements.. They're our personal truths.

I'd generally agree with you about the women, though. I wouldn't say the other two are ugly, but they're certainly no better looking than the men, and none of the guys pictured are ugly. I'd say the first guy's obviously handsome, actually. Some people have "subtle" good looks, no?

October 25, 2011

Goes to show how each person's perception plays a part in all of these subjective judgements.. They're our personal truths.

I'd generally agree with you about the women, though. I wouldn't say the other two are ugly, but they're certainly no better looking than the men, and none of the guys pictured are ugly. I'd say the first guy's obviously handsome, actually. Some people have "subtle" good looks, no?

And I'm sure, to those men, those women are sexy and beautiful.

That's what I don't get about these threads? OP, would you pass up on a guy with a good personality and had a good income, if he was less attractive? Or would you pass up on a guy who was good looking and had a good personality, if he worked at McDonalds?

Why does everything have to be in the equation? What if he lost his job, got into an accident, or something else changed...would you leave him?

October 25, 2011

I don't think you should be attacked for it, we're all free Human beings and we have the freedom to live our lives as we see fit (I wouldn't want to live in a country/world where we didn't). I do think it's important to keep something in mind. If you make a relationship conditional upon the other person having status/career/looks/whatever the case may be, that's a two-way street. If a relationship is conditioned upon Person A insisting that Person B have X Y and Z to have Person A's love, then you will have to be X Y and Z to have Person B's love.

It's a contradiction to say, "I want unconditional love with a successful sexy doctor." Successful sexy doctor is a condition. If your love is a locked door, then that's the key. If your love is a product, then that's the pricetag (no shoplifting allowed! ).

I don't think there's such a thing as completely unconditional love. Not being a drug addict is a condition, a desire to work for a living is a condition. Perhaps between parent and child there's unconditional love, parents would tend to stick by a child no matter what that child did.

If we're honest however, we all want unconditional love. Within the context of being a decent Human being, we all want the other person's love of us to be as unconditional as possible. Rich or poor, beautiful or homely, no one wants to think that if their fortunes changed tomorrow, their partner would not love them anymore. Here's what Elvis Presley wrote about himself:

"I mean there has to be a purpose...there's got to be a reason...why I was chosen to be Elvis Presley. ... I swear to God, no one knows how lonely I get. And how empty I really feel."

I'm sure that famous singers don't want to be loved only because they're famous singers, and doctors loved only because they went to medical school.

Unconditional love is accepting the other person's flaws/imperfections, and that too goes both ways. Just as you would want the other person to accept you for your flaws (whatever they may be), you would have to accept theirs.

If you're prepared to be in a condition relationship, a power couple as I believe it's called, then that's great. Who are we to tell you that's not what you should do? Here's where it gets interesting though, in the long run, even if you and whoever you find are able to meet each others requirements, you may find that those things wont be enough to keep two people together. Best wishes and best of luck.

October 26, 2011

I completely understand your preference for a tall, financially stable man.

But the thing that it's taken me a while to realise, is just because your a catch according to your criteria doesn't mean that the men you desire will be judging you on the same qualities.

Being tall as a man is pretty much always seen as a plus. Being tall as a women, is pretty neutral.

Men don't generally seek out high earning women, as long as she's not a gold digger, I'm not sure they care all that much. They have other criteria that they would look for first. Hot, sensitive, kind, laughs at their jokes, all that stuff.

So I'd suggest instead of concentrating on the qualities you possess that you want in a man, think about how you can be more desirable according to a man's criteria. Men want to date a fabulous women, not a successful man.

October 26, 2011

FS-Don't let anyone talk you out of your preferences. If that's what's going to make you happy, go for it. People online just want a reason to bitch about something.

I want a guy around my age and I want someone with a similar level education. I've been told I'm too picky by not giving men 10 years older than me a chance, or men that are highschool graduates a chance. I'm not going to be happy in the long run if I settle, so it's about me and not the person that thinks I'm picky. Sorry, but men that are 10 years older than me feel like a father. I'm more attracted to men that are in my age group. I feel like I can relate to another professional, since I'm one.

October 26, 2011

I wouldn't say that, honestly. The first dude has a full head of hair, a nice face, and the last guy's not bad looking for someone with NO hair. All three couples seem pretty even to me.

and they're all multi billionaires, they could get any 25 year old they wanted honestly, but they're all with their wives who appear to be at least in their 40s.

the first guy is the CEO of JP Morgan

the second is Bill Gates wife (Microsoft)

the third guy is the CEO of Goldman Sachs

the best example i can think of of a young billionaire that's in pretty good physical shape is mark cuban, here's his wife...

http://www.playerwives.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/wagrankings-tiffany_stewart.jpg

she's attractive, definitely, but honestly i see comparable women around town here and there.

Edited October 26, 2011 by thatone

October 26, 2011

and they're all multi billionaires, they could get any 25 year old they wanted honestly, but they're all with their wives who appear to be at least in their 40s.

the first guy is the CEO of JP Morgan
the second is Bill Gates wife (Microsoft)
the third guy is the CEO of Goldman Sachs

the best example i can think of of a young billionaire that's in pretty good physical shape is mark cuban, here's his wife...

http://www.playerwives.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/wagrankings-tiffany_stewart.jpg

she's attractive, definitely, but honestly i see comparable women around town here and there.

I agree with you, Hard Day, and the other two posters in many ways. OP, despite you "giving up" on us, you should know that there's nothing wrong with you wanting what you want. Just know that you might not truly possess all of the qualities you're looking for as others have said, because for SOME reason the guys aren't breaking down your door. Maybe you need to figure out what the problem is without harboring a grudge towards anyone in particular and fix it.

Go for what you want, but don't get mad at the world because the kind of guy you've got your heart set on hasn't fallen into your lap or doesn't seem to exist. You're obviously doing something wrong or you're placing yourself way too high on a royal pedestal when you might not realize you're sitting on a bar stool.

Nothing wrong with making mistakes or a lack of success, but you need to uncover and target the problem even if it means addressing something about your self that you internally avoid and deny and overcoming it. You might not think you have a problem, but there MUST be a monkey wrench in the works somewhere for things to not be going as smoothly as you'd like.

October 27, 2011

I possess all the qualities I am looking for, which is why I am frustrated...

This logic will really get you far.

October 27, 2011

these women look pretty plain to me. and their husbands haven't traded them in for 25 year olds it seems.

Because they cant afford the cost to trade them in.

As the saying goes, "Its cheaper to keep them."

Besides, most of the richest men are socially awkward men when it comes to women. Even money isn't enough to make them good with the ladies.

If I were Mike Zuckerberg, I would be having hot ladies in my arms wherever I went instead of some plain nerdy jane.

Edited October 27, 2011 by musemaj11

October 27, 2011

Because they cant afford the cost to trade them in.

As the saying goes, "Its cheaper to keep them."

Besides, most of the richest men are socially awkward men when it comes to women. Even money isn't enough to make them good with the ladies.

If I were Mike Zuckerberg, I would be having hot ladies in my arms wherever I went instead of some plain nerdy jane.

Your plain nerdy janes are his hot ladies, I guess, and vice versa.

October 27, 2011

The problem with FS is that she wants a HOT and SUCCESSFUL man. She wants the best of both worlds. Thats a pretty unrealistic want considering she is no longer a hot 21 year old piece of a$$.

I believe FS is free to want whatever she wants. But to me she sounds like a jobless, fat man who is upset because he can't get a hot young and wealthy model.

Your plain nerdy janes are his hot ladies, I guess, and vice versa.

Yeah right. I bet if he had hot girls throwing themselves at him, he won't resist.

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Why am I being attacked just because I want a sexy, successful man?

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