Trufita Posted October 25, 2011 Posted October 25, 2011 (edited) Hi there! I don't know exactly how to start this, it's my first post and I'm kind of desperate now... This situation is making me crazy. Well, first of all, my family live in one island, and I study in another because in "my home" there's no university. When I went to visit my family and friends this summer holiday, one day in september, 10 days before I had to leave, I met this guy in a party. He's from Germany and he was there because he's now friend of another german guy who was raised in my homeisland, and he invited him to go there. I liked him from the first moment, he doesn't talk Spanish and I don't talk German, but we talk in English. We talk for hours, and then we kissed. We give each other our telephone numbers and agreed to meet the next night at the disco. From then on, we continued seeing each other, and everyday was very special, I felt such a great connection with him... that I never felt before, with anyone, not even with my exboyfriend, with who I spent 3 years, and that I though I would never connect with anyone like I did with him, and then comes this guy with who I connect even more... He was really sweet to me, he told me things that left me breathless, I couldn't believe that something so good was happening to me. We even talked about me going to see him in Germany. And then it came the last night together. It was strange, but I guess that's the way it has to be. We told each other that we didn't wanted this to end and so on, but we didn't speak about a relation or anything. The day I arrived to the island I live, he sent me a text telling me how sad he was and how he missed me already. We added each other on Facebook too, and we sent messages regularly, always very sweet. But then, it started to take him a lot of time to answer me... once, I week passed and he didn't answer, so I wrote him, in resume, that yes, we had a really nice time, and that I missed it, and that I meant it when I said I would like to go to see him, but if we were in our way of leaving everything behind, let's just do it then. His answer made me really happy, he told me he was sorry and that he would try to take more care of us, and that he loved me to go to see him. Also, we added each other in Skype. But things didn't get better, we talk from tiiime to time, and we haven't skyped (with video and voice) yet. He's missing for a few days and when he shows up again, he does it with lots of excuses and "I really like you"s, "I miss you"s and lovely stuff. Even in my birthday, he didn't told me "happy birthday" until 23:30. Of course, he had great excuses, and his message was great, he even called me "his queen". To be honest, I would rather him not to write me for my birthday, so then I could say "yes, he's an idiot" and leave this thing. Oh, and once I told him how about if I went to see him from October 27 to November 1, and he told me he couldn't because he had his university party. A party... But I told him the other possible date I could go was in December, and I asked him "are you going to wait for me so long?", meaning that I didn't want to book the flight and that then a week before he told me "No, sorry, I'm with thisgirl now". He answered he didn't even think of that possibility, that right then he wanted to see me even if he had to wait two months, and that he wasn't going to look for another girl, but he couldn't promise me that he wouldn't run accidentally into her. So we decided to see how things evolved. Sorry I'm explaining myself so badly, really, my head (and my heart) are a mess. The thing is, I'm really tired. I'm really tired of him being so charming and wonderful and then dissapearing for so long. He tells me really pretty stuff but I don't see him interested in talking with me nor in getting to know me (because that's it, we barely know each other). If he wanted just a "summer love", he shouldn't have started to write me, in the first place. I know this almost 2000 miles of distance makes all this really difficult. I don't know if I want to go to see him anymore, because I want to see him, but I don't know if he deserves it. Also, I'm afraid of getting hurt, I've already been hurt, and I don't want to go that way again. But I have the hope that if I spend those days with him, he could fall for me... I know that's crazy. Uncertainty is killing me. I don't get him at all. And I would have a LDR with him if he wanted to (or at least that's what I thought a few weeks ago), but not this way of course, and I don't think he wants it anyway. I'd do because I've learned how difficult it is to find someone you connect with, but I don't think he knows it, since he's never been in a real relationship before, nor in love with someone. Also, (I forgot to write this before) I've already told him how much I like him, and that I don't really cared about any other guy... If I go there, I'm sure those days would be wonderful, but what would happen next? Should I go, or just run away of this situation? And how can I be sure that he doesn't treat other girls the way he treats me? How can I know he's not just playing with me? Please, help me... I need to stop feeling this way. Sorry again for explaining like this. Edited October 25, 2011 by Trufita
Ezekiel Posted October 25, 2011 Posted October 25, 2011 ...... great connection with him... .... I couldn't believe that something so good was happening to me. .... ... we sent messages regularly, ...... But then, it started to take him a lot of time to answer me... once, I week passed and he didn't answer.... we added each other in Skype. But things didn't get better, we talk from time to time, and we haven't skyped (with video and voice) yet...........when he shows up again, he does it with lots of excuses ...... Oh, and once I told him how about if I went to see him from October 27 to November 1, and he told me he couldn't because he had his university party. A party...... he couldn't promise me that he wouldn't run accidentally into her. So we decided to see how things evolved. I'm really tired of him being so charming If I go there, I'm sure those days would be wonderful, but what would happen next? Should I go, or just run away of this situation? And how can I be sure that he doesn't treat other girls the way he treats me? How can I know he's not just playing with me? Please, help me... I need to stop feeling this way. Sorry again for explaining like this. Don't go. He's a charmer. You were fun but he can't even commit to waiting for you. Time enough has passed and enough chances were given (through FB and your hopes with Skype) that if his feelings for you were more than a "summer love" he wouldn't have disappeared on you instead of trying to further your "connection". Do yourself a favor. Leave it as it was. Remember it as a wonderful summer with a lovely guy. You can have amazing connections with other people. I just hope you connect next time with someone who wants to be there with you and feels the sweet things they say instead of just trying to charm you. peace
creighton0123 Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 I'm trying to understand why you're putting yourself through all of this. Couldn't you have had a simple holiday romance? He obviously doesn't want a long distance relationship. It would be wrong of you to force him into one. Move on, have fun, and find love in someone that will make things... easier.
Author Trufita Posted October 31, 2011 Author Posted October 31, 2011 Thanks both for you answers. You're right, it's obvious he's not that interested and that he was just trying to charm me. It's over (although it never started). Thanks (a lot) again , you helped me to finally open my eyes.
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