SoCal_Guy Posted October 25, 2011 Posted October 25, 2011 My story is here (with another link inside that thread to more history/drama): http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t302026/ I want to start by saying Graceful is right. homebrew knows what he is talking about. wilsonx gives some of the best and direct advice on this website. All these experienced posters on LS speak the truth. Listen to them, please. If I would have, I wouldn't be where I am tonight. About two weeks ago I received an email from the ex. This after a text message two weeks prior to that saying she wants to be with me but her last ex won't let her go (he has ISSUES and she tries to be his caretaker). I didn't really give in to that text (which came at 1 AM) except I told her that I hoped she was safe (after a few back-and-forth texts that led to me thinking he was stalking her) and if she needed someone to call the police or her family and she couldn't, that I would. Anyway, I asked for advice on here about if I should respond to her email and how (see above link). I did well for about a week, but I broke down late last week and responded. I had gone through a very busy and frustrating week at work and I let that factor into my decision to reply. I was reaching out to someone who I used to share everything with. I regret it immensely. I'm now close to or right back at square one. I have discovered I still have very strong feelings for her and for some reason want her back. Why do I want someone back who has treated me this way? She can say she loves me, wants to be with me, will never let me down again, but like one of the wise posters on here so clearly stated to me a LONG time ago ... "actions, not words." She has done so many things wrong to me and has walked out on us three times. Why do I still care about her? Why do I have any thoughts of reconciling with her? So, I have been struggling with everything for the last 3-4 days and it really sucks. I thought I was better. So did my therapist. She suggested I stop going, so I did back in July. That has helped the pocketbook. I know what I need to do now, I just need to find the strength. I need to cut everything off ... for good. I was only lying to myself about my healing. I can't concentrate at work, I've lost my appetite and I don't want to be around any of my friends. I feel like I can't even talk to my family about it, because they're tired of hearing the drama. I know I can turn to LS, but at this point I just need to grow a pair and get her out of my life. I'm just too nice of a person to go through with it. Maybe this was all just me venting.
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