sharmayne20 Posted October 25, 2011 Posted October 25, 2011 Hello All My boyfriend of 7 months and i broke up 2 days ago. It was horrid, we did it over the phone (i live an hour or so away from him) i broke down and balled, i felt like my life had been shattered. He wanted a break and i wanted to end it ... our relationship was great up to 2 months when i moved further away from him (personal reason, nothing to do with him) ... the break up im okay with cause it needed to happen. He needed to understand that im not his door mat. Thats not my problem, my problem is 24 hours after we broke up, so last night, he rings and says he just wanted to hear my voice and that he feel empty ... he misses me and loves me, but theres a small part of him that doesn’t want to get back together, while a huge part of him does. So i offered up a solution, why not try dating, we meet every once in awhile, for dinner or for a coffee, keep things casual and light. I guess im not ready to say goodbye yet and nether is he. He wants to see me and talk to me but not be in a relationship until he sorts his **** out. When some one says to you its you its me, in this case it was him that let the relationship slide, preferring his friends over spending any time together, i felt like a door mat. So last night we said we would try dating get back to the basics, thats fine... my problem started when he wanted to know if he could have sex with other people. His wording was if an opportunity presents itself is it okay for him to have sex with another girl, this kinda shocked me as ... that hadn’t crossed my mind, i don’t have any interest any other guy but him. If he loves me etc why does he feel the need to sleep with someone else. Am i over reacting on this one? Or am i about to be used?
Bobby289 Posted October 25, 2011 Posted October 25, 2011 Not at all, if his heart was with you he would not even want another girl. His "break" is not because he wants space to think. Sorry to say but he wants you in his life but be able to sleep with other people. He wants the best of both worlds you emotionally/sexually without the relationship tie. I still love my ex a month after our split and I can't even think about kissing another person because my heart is not ready for that... Everyone if different though, just my thoughts
HappyFlower Posted October 25, 2011 Posted October 25, 2011 That he's asking about sleeping with other girls says he's already thought about it, he might even be thinking of one in particular. Your feeling like a doormat was spot on, and thats what you will be if you let him do this. If he loves you like he says, he wouldnt be thinking about sleeping with anyone else. I can totally understand why you would want to go back to basic dating, I suggested it to my ex and it never happened. I do think he will string you along tho from what you've said. Instead, give him time alone to think about if he can really commit to you and sort his stuff out. If he can't, its his loss - you did everything you could
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