Bobby289 Posted October 25, 2011 Posted October 25, 2011 I had a session with my therapist today and said It was good I was setting boundaries with my ex so I am not a doormat. For anyone who has followed my posts I set an ultimatum as much as I didn't want to as it is not fair but I can't keep the door open forever. I was told I made an effort and I can't be hard on myself anymore because I am the one making changes and an effort to talk. If she doesn't want to return the effort I know I tried all I could and should be able to let go and cut ties. Not easy to accept her not in my life but I can only try for so long...
perfectlyflawed459 Posted October 25, 2011 Posted October 25, 2011 I had a session with my therapist today and said It was good I was setting boundaries with my ex so I am not a doormat. For anyone who has followed my posts I set an ultimatum as much as I didn't want to as it is not fair but I can't keep the door open forever. I was told I made an effort and I can't be hard on myself anymore because I am the one making changes and an effort to talk. If she doesn't want to return the effort I know I tried all I could and should be able to let go and cut ties. Not easy to accept her not in my life but I can only try for so long... I am glad that to hear that. Even if she took you back, no one wants to be with someone who treats them like a doormat. I know it is hard, but it can only get better from here. I am not trying to give false hope, but you never know what the future brings. Maybe one day your paths will cross again. I haven't read your stories, but I do believe that every situation has at least a speck of hope, but hey, I am being an optimist here. Right now should be about you and making yourself happy, that way if you guys do cross again, then you will be strong enough to stand up to her and she will see how well off you are doing.
Author Bobby289 Posted October 25, 2011 Author Posted October 25, 2011 Yeah If she did want to make the effort a lot of things would have to change, mainly me not letting myself being walked all over. I have given myself enough false hope over the past few weeks and realize you only let yourself down when you expect too much. I do feel stronger and actually feel like I am making positive changes to make myself happy. Thank you for the comment, It defiantly made me feel better after being so pessimistic lately.
BLuvv Posted October 25, 2011 Posted October 25, 2011 Bobby, good to hear you are finding some help. I have the same problem (being a doormat) and have yet to find a therapist. Still need to do that. I know it's hard habit to break- you just want to be there for people, but then so many times people just take advantage of your kindness. I have never been able to set good boundaries. Wishing you luck in everything! B
perfectlyflawed459 Posted October 25, 2011 Posted October 25, 2011 Yeah If she did want to make the effort a lot of things would have to change, mainly me not letting myself being walked all over. I have given myself enough false hope over the past few weeks and realize you only let yourself down when you expect too much. I do feel stronger and actually feel like I am making positive changes to make myself happy. Thank you for the comment, It defiantly made me feel better after being so pessimistic lately. If you truly gave it your all, then that is all you could have done. She will realize one day how great she had it, but you shouldn't wait for that day to come. Continue making positive changes, move forward, get out there, let go and forgive because grudges are ugly things that keep tearing us down, and life your life. Make yourself happy and more importantly, love yourself and know you are worth it. Most likely you will hear from her again, but even if not, at least you are taking a step in the right direction
Author Bobby289 Posted October 25, 2011 Author Posted October 25, 2011 You guys are great, why can't I find people in my town like this community lol. Yeah I will keep my head up and just look forward, I'm sure she will try to bring me down when she sees I am not there anymore to control but I'll cross that bridge when it comes.
infinity8245 Posted October 25, 2011 Posted October 25, 2011 Good for you, I'm glad you're doing that. I know how hard it is to keep your resolve in situations like this...I'm doing it right now with my ex. I heard a couple of great quotes that helped me to see the situation in a different light, maybe they'll help out everyone else struggling too. "Don't be sad that it's over. Be happy that you got to share your love with someone." "There is someone out there who is better than your ex. You just haven't met them yet."
Author Bobby289 Posted October 25, 2011 Author Posted October 25, 2011 Yeah I know someone will appreciate me more than her, Just can't wait for the day to be able to say no!
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