blazerxtreme1 Posted October 25, 2011 Posted October 25, 2011 Hey! I need some advice.. I met this girl about 3 months ago at a bar while visiting a friend of mine about an hour from where I lived, now I moved back to the area and started seeing her a lot more, We dated and saw each other every few days. We went exclusive (her idea)about 1 month ago and everything was great then one day out of the blue she starts texting me really hateful things, said she didn't know why but she was a huge bitch and that she doesn't deserve to be with me and she didn't want to get hurt or hurt me... We talked and turns out she has some issues with being bipolar. So, everything is going great! we talked everyday and made lots of plans to do things. This past weekend we made plans to go out with a bunch of her friends in her hometown then the next day we were going to a haunted forest with my friends then she was going to stay at my place and watch scary movies. She is super touchy feely, we always kissed, touched each other and held hands a lot, but the past weekend she didn't want to have anything to do with me. I thought it was odd, but I just figured it was that time of the month or something.. While I was at work today, I get a text saying we need to talk.. So I called her like a minute later and she was laughing and that she told me to text her when i got off later. When i text her she tells me that she doesn't think she is ready for a relationship yet, she really likes me and doesn't know what to do. i told her I could respect that since its a new relationship and she got out of a relationship of 4 years about 6 months prior then she tells me she wants to get to know me better and that she doesn't want anyone else but me. One of our plans was to go to atlantic city, NJ next month just for a few days.. she send me a text asking if we could still go, I told her I honestly didn't know and that i would let her know.. So, I talk with her some more and then she wants to know if I was still coming to hang out with her for a halloween party.. We are both in our mid 20's and I really like this girl.. what do you think I should do?? She has me very confused.
wilsonx Posted October 25, 2011 Posted October 25, 2011 Hey! I need some advice.. I met this girl about 3 months ago at a bar while visiting a friend of mine about an hour from where I lived, now I moved back to the area and started seeing her a lot more, We dated and saw each other every few days. We went exclusive (her idea)about 1 month ago and everything was great then one day out of the blue she starts texting me really hateful things, said she didn't know why but she was a huge bitch and that she doesn't deserve to be with me and she didn't want to get hurt or hurt me... We talked and turns out she has some issues with being bipolar. We are both in our mid 20's and I really like this girl.. what do you think I should do?? She has me very confused. Run, not your job to be captain fix a hoe, shes not going to change
Ajax Posted October 25, 2011 Posted October 25, 2011 Run, not your job to be captain fix a hoe, shes not going to change Even before reading wilsonx's response, my first thought was also "run." I know we all want to be there for our girlfriend/ex/friend/quasi-relationship/ambiguous-partner/hopefully future-past-lover. We want to be the hero. We think that if we just stick it out long enough, they'll see that we can be the rock in their life. The one they can lean on to get through their issues. The reality of the situation though is that the only ones that can get them through their issues are themselves. And when they decide that we are an "optional" part of their life, it's time to do the responsible thing and let them go. It's a responsibility to yourself not to let someone use you for emotional support or keep you on the back burner.
Love Notes Posted October 25, 2011 Posted October 25, 2011 Hello blaster extreme1, This is Love Notes just hang in there she'll come around. It's just that she just got of a relationship and need time to heel..
EgoJoe Posted October 25, 2011 Posted October 25, 2011 So, she doesn't want a relationship but still wants you to take her places and spend money on her. You're just a wet-spot on the sheets during her man-hop stage. Abandon ship, GTFO! She's probably hopping during her GIGS spree, haha. IMO you should play it cool and then be like, I'll call you later. Then never call.
jackpot Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 Hey guys I've joined this site so I can specifically answer this question! I went out with a bipolar girl for 4 years. When I met her she wasn't on the right meds or seeing the right psych - I soon realised this when she had a psychotic episode right in front of me - and I soon got a taste of what I was in for! She broke up with me soon after, I hit the internet and research books, kept in contact with her and got her to see a new psych and onto the right meds. Things were good but it was a day by day situation. Panic attacks, jealousies - always being suspicious. Her flat was a disaster zone - absolutely filthy. The first thing i did whenever I went there was start cleaning. A year later she decided to break up with me again - again unbeknownst to me she had stopped seeing her psych - again I got her to start going again and they revised her medication. But not before occasionally threatening to kill herself...and she started to have casual sex with one of her work colleagues. Then she went really downhill and another personality emerged - another girl who had been 'protecting' her throughout her years. I knew this happened in movies and the United States of Tara - but to see this emerge in front of me was confronting to say the least. By this time she was seeing a psychiatrist once a month, a psychologist once a week and a daily cocktail of medications. She insisted I come over every night and sit with her while she cried, shook, wept continuously, changed personalities, chain smoked etc. By this time she insisted she couldn't participate in anything romantic - which i understood but still wanted to stand by her because my love remained strong. It was a quasi-relationship...she rang and saw me everyday but with no psychical contact and no declarations of love - that was too much pressure for her. If ever i wanted to go out with friends I felt guilty - was she going to be OK? Would she be alive the next morning? Why couldn't I leave her for another girl? Am I that weak? Don't I deserve a life too? This wasn't what I signed on for - I thought I was going to be her boyfriend but instead I became her father, caretaker and nurse. Then last week and old male friend of hers emerged from the past - a male friend who just split with his girlfriend. She started to see him for drinks - 'just reminiscing about the good old days'. One catch up lead to another and she started to reduce her contact with me.....and now...nothing. She won't return my calls, is ignoring my calls and won't communicate AT ALL. I have no doubt she is having a relationship with her old friend....and I have been replaced...with not even an explanation. This, after four years of love, emotional and financial support....which eventually lead to me seeing a psychologist and being on anti-depressants myself. So was it worth it? HELL NO!!!!!!! If you're not in love yet, even if you are - leave this girl NOW. You will be sucked into her world and end up on medication yourself!! And especially DO NOT remain friends with this girl if you decide to split - she will still suck you in and spit you out!!! And then replace you with someone else....sex is their main weapon! I was the easy pushover in this situation - please take it from me - someone who experienced a bipolar girl first hand. And please remember - for the most part - this was a girl on the right meds and seeing docs!!! Get out of this now buddy, you are so young! I lost four years of my life thinking I could kill this disease with love, I could fix it with kindness and battle it with reason. Nothing worked and now I'm alone and she's taken up with her next beau. My family have pleaded with me not to go back...and I'm finally listening. FINALLY
PegNosePete Posted October 27, 2011 Posted October 27, 2011 she doesn't deserve to be with me 9 times out of 10, when someone says this, it is true. The other 1 time in 10 they are just using it as an excuse, "it's not you it's me".
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