Livein problem Posted May 19, 2004 Posted May 19, 2004 Just broke up, weve been living together for a year but we broke up, he really hurt but I love him but I am interested in someone else. What to do? I hate to see him hurt. It's so hard because we still live together.. Everything I wanted I have with the new guy but I feel guilty for the break up .Again i hate to see him hurt. ANY ADVICE WOULD BE NICE. THANKS
shellgranado Posted May 19, 2004 Posted May 19, 2004 even though hes hurting its a diffrent kind of hurt its better you break it off now then to hurt him with the worst pain out there being cheated on stick to your guns now your next move is move out because its not right you two still live together it will only hurt him more to see you with this other guy and its not fair to the other guy that you live with you ex if you want this new relationship to work then move or it wont work
azgirl Posted May 19, 2004 Posted May 19, 2004 I was in that exact situation once. And I know how hard it is. I really cared a lot about the guy I was living with, he was a fantastic guy but there was something missing - some spark that wasn't there. Well, I found that "spark" with someone else and had to break up with the guy I was living with. I had to see him cry as I walked out the door to go out with friends and know the kind of pain I was putting him through and it hurt to be the cause of that pain. Just be careful, though. The guy I left him for turned out to be really bad for me in the long run. It was definitely not what I was hoping for or expecting. But the bottome line is this - if you are interested in another guy, no matter how much you care about the guy you are living with, then you did the right thing by breaking up with him because he deserves a chance to go out there and find someone who feels the same way about him as he does about her and that clearly isn't you. Maybe you'll be lucky and he will still be able to be friends with you. That happened in my situation. When we lived in the same state, but a few towns apart, we would get together once a week for lunch and a movie. And when I moved to a different state, he drove 1900 miles with me to help me move. I don't talk to him as much as I used to, but we still talk about three or four times a year. Hang in there! It'll get easier for both of you.
morrigan Posted May 20, 2004 Posted May 20, 2004 Save up money and find an apartment/house of your own, or ask a friend if you can move in with her and pay her some amount of rent until you find your own place. It doesn't mean you have to cut your ex out of your life, but you get your own breathing space and are able to move on with your own life. It kind of sounds like you haven't dated much because you're afraid of what your ex will feel/say about it. That's not fair to you. I think you and your ex could remain friends--but there probably would be tension if you were to suddenly have a new boyfriend over all the time. Your ex may still have feelings for you, and could possibly be hoping you two will eventually reconcile. As long as you live with him, he still may have that hope. You don't want to hurt his feelings, but he can't expect you not to date other people, it would be as unfair as you expecting him not to get involved with other girls. The best thing to do is move out on your own.
bluechocolate Posted May 20, 2004 Posted May 20, 2004 from morrigan The best thing to do is move out on your own. ....or ask a friend if you can move in with her and pay her some amount of rent until you find your own place. Yep. I can't see that your current living arrangement will work for anybody. If he still wants you then it's living torture for him & this could come back to hurt you in many unseen ways. And many guys would find it rather odd that you still live with your ex, so you're introducing a potential problem with your new relationship(s) right from the get-go.
living together Posted May 24, 2004 Posted May 24, 2004 Thanks alot for all of your feed back. I think that moving out is thebest thing fo rme to do. the more I see him I feel guilty and I want to stop the pain because I love him so much. He has cried and told me things will be different and he will try harder and when I hear that I start to second guess my decision. Is it true that they never change. I fel ignored I would try to be affectionate and he would frown at me or act as if I was bothering him and after awhile I couldn't take the neglect anymore. Anyway I could go on for hours but thanks again for all your advice. I just love him so much but I'm not in love such a headache..
Recommended Posts