waytooconfused Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 This is going to be quite long winded, so bear with me. I am currently attending college. I started when I was 18 and met my soon to be wife in February of 2010. We started dating in March and were married by June. There is an obvious and apparent problem with this - we only gave ourselves 3 month to date, 1/2 of those months were spend away when we both went back home for summer break. Before we got married she was a strong person (or so I thought). She carried herself that way. She was independent, artistic, and very motivated. I figured we both shared these traits and fell head over heels for this girl. We were married in June. Everything changed. She became emotionally needy. She was very dependent on me. She couldn't hold down a normal job and cried frequently when men would hit on her (like men do - nothing too serious). She would also cry because she couldn't stand working a normal job. She hated the fact that I drank and smoke. I never let these things get out of hand, and I only partied with the same people. My friends and I actually invited her on several occasions. I never cheated on the woman - nor did I abuse her any way. I have my issues, I've done things wrong, but I never did anything to seriously damage our relationship. Whenever she cried, I was the shoulder to lay her head on. Some other things - she cannot make a decision on her own to save her life. Anything, and I mean ANYTHING had to come through me. I don't know why, but she felt that she needed to consult me on every little detail of life. One time, someone knocked on the door. She called me in a panic (it was about 10:00 pm). I told her to hang tight and I went home. It turns out it was just the postman. They had left the package outside the door. This is just a small example of the paranoia I had to deal with (I'm not perfect). I tried to comfort her. I had tried to leave her twice before, I was so tired of everything. She turned my friends and family against me with her tears. I want to believe the best in her, but now she is showing her true face. Finally, about a month ago, I had enough. I told her I wanted a divorce unless we BOTH worked on our own issues. Since then, it has been an emotional rollercoaster ride. One minute, she wants to be with me, the other she does not. I am essentially homeless while trying to finish up the semester. I have found a place to live at our mutual friend Adam's apartment. I move in in January (I need 60 credits to move in - university housing). After I told her I was moving in with Adam she has been calling him nonstop. She is now asking him for the same advice ("I have a sore in my mouth, should I go to the emergency room") and hanging out with him quite frequently. Just this last Saturday she hitched a ride from him to go to the store. She dressed up in my favorite outfit of hers and wore makeup - stuff she hasn't done for me in MONTHS. Not only that but she got her fortune told - she told Adam that she would be married before she was out of college. She's talking about wanting to date again. We've only been separated for a week. Not only that - but she's telling everyone else that she doesn't want to date. Why is she telling Adam these things? Now I question her motives, AND I question Adam's motives. What if he sleeps with her? What will I do? She uses her emotions to pull me back in. I need to stay strong, but I need advice. I'm trying to be a good person and not selfdestructive, but when she does these things it's so hard for me to be nice to her. One more thing, I was absolutely emotionally drained. She had just gotten out of the shower when I got home. I told her I had thought of suicide because I was so upset (shouldn't have said it). She bounced around the house humming like nothing was wrong. I felt so turned away. Sorry for the jumbled order of this message. I am so lost and confused. I am an emotional trainwreck. Any advice?
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