Rorschach64 Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 A lot of things reminding me of my ex f, having dreams about her, and wishing shed come back to me. This girl haunts my mind still for 4 months, is this normal? 1
jormungand Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 yeah, i'm going through the same. we had such a lot of common interests. still dealing with the dreams. not only do i think about her all day, but i'm not safe even in my sleep.
Leegh Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 Yes, it is very normal. It took me three years to fully get over a serious relationship, and it took me about two years to fully get over another serious relationship.
mike588 Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 A lot of things reminding me of my ex f, having dreams about her, and wishing shed come back to me. This girl haunts my mind still for 4 months, is this normal? I'm right at 3 months and yes I still think about her but not as much as I first did,Thank God! Iv'e been N.C. for 2 1/2 months and I'm sure that has helped. I still have some bad days but their getting fewer,, Can't wait till this hell is completely over!!
Author Rorschach64 Posted October 24, 2011 Author Posted October 24, 2011 Well thanks for the responses! I started to get a bit distressed that I was still thinking of her, even though I so dearly don't want to be haunted anymore. Though thankfully I have no urge to break NC....it is all in her court.
MIK1000 Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 Well thanks for the responses! I started to get a bit distressed that I was still thinking of her, even though I so dearly don't want to be haunted anymore. Though thankfully I have no urge to break NC....it is all in her court. Yes it's been two months and I probably don't go five minutes without thinking about her most of the time but that's still an improvement the way I see it because for the first few weeks it was every few seconds that she entered my head. I dreamt about her every night for the first few weeks but that stopped and i finally hardly ever dream about her. It will take time I guess. It's like a girl i had a major infatuation with before, i thought about her every minute of the day and was getting depressed about it. A few months on and I didn't think about her at all. I suppose it will be the same with this but will take a good bit more time given that I was madly in love with my ex for a year and a half.
fucpcg Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 1 year relationship, 8 months apart, 6 months NC from her, 4 months NC from me, think of her 24-7.
mike588 Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 I'm sure we will never really forget about them it just won't hurt so much as time gos by or until we find someone else,, that has always helped me but we all need to heal before we get serious with someone else. I often wish that I could lose my mind sometimes,,, the maybe I'd be free of memories she left behind.
Deano8888 Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 breaking up with someone you love is just like loosing a loved one to death. You actually mourn the loss in both circumstances (but in obviously different ways) My point is this, if you had lost a loved one to death like a farther/mother, you wouldn't stop missing them, or stop thinking about them after just 4 months. It still hurts for a long time. So when we split up from a person we love when we didn't want to it still hurts for a long time. It may take many months or even years to deal with the loss. Don't rush it or expect it just to stop after a short time. I feel your pain my friend, I have been there before and I'm there now. I know how your feeling, your not alone Best thing to do when your feeling low is to come on here and get support.
lymtal1 Posted October 25, 2011 Posted October 25, 2011 r64, you and i came on board here about the same time. i remember your initial posts. i went through a period where i thought i was moving on pretty well. had some other females show some interest in me and it made me feel good. made me feel like i could deal better. the constant thoughts of her became less constant. i was over the worst. yea right. first time out with someone else and since then it's back to 24/7. not as bad but bad. so the moral of the story is we should not be so cocky in our recovery. it is definately a slow and steady process where we should never take for granted the progress we have made. and there are these little "things" that will make us go back to them and what we feel like we are missing. i think this is now a natural thing. i am back continuing to do the things that i quit doing when i thought i was there. what i now know is i am going to be in this place for some time. and that i am not going to stop working on my healing because i think i am better. i am not. i think you are normal my friend
Marianis Posted October 25, 2011 Posted October 25, 2011 i still think about him after 4 months of NC.. but its better to just know and think i deserve to be happy .. because maybe he is happy now.. that helps me in looking at my future in a more positive way.. i dont have any expectations anymore and its good.. just know that with time you wont think that much about her and it will be just a good memory i guess. ----------------------------------------------------- Hope is the worst of evils, for it prolongs the torments of man." Friedrich Nietzsche
honeydrip Posted October 25, 2011 Posted October 25, 2011 I suppose it's natural to dream about someone if you think about them all day or in your hours of being awake.
infinity8245 Posted October 25, 2011 Posted October 25, 2011 It seems normal that you'd still be thinking of someone. In fact, I don't know if any of us will ever completely forget our exes. At least that's what my past experience has shown. When I was in high school and into my sophomore year of college, I dated this girl whom I thought was amazing. We got along great and were incredibly in love with each other. We wanted to get married. Eventually, the relationship ended, and I remember hurting for a long time after it. About 5-6 months after this breakup, I met another amazing girl and we hit it off. We ended up dating for over four years and we just recently broke up ago. But even when I was in a relationship with my most recent ex, it's not to say that my previous ex didn't cross my mind every now and then. It's not necessarily that I missed her, but things like "I wonder what life would have been like if things had worked out," "I wonder if she still thinks of me," etc... The point is, I was as over my previous ex as I think I ever will be and was happily in a relationship with my most recent ex, but I still thought of her from time to time. With anyone that you love, even when you've truly moved on, I fully believe that your exes will always have a small part of your heart, a small part of you. And that's OK.
Author Rorschach64 Posted October 25, 2011 Author Posted October 25, 2011 Thanks for the additional responses! It does feel better that I'm not alone in this and it is okay to take my time with the healing process. It is just a bit frustrating I was doing well for a few weeks not thinking of her and then bam feels like week 5 again. Though I was initially hung up over the details of the break up and repeating conversations in my head, I am only missing the girl that I once knew and wanted to marry
fenderjames Posted October 25, 2011 Posted October 25, 2011 Yes I think it is . Im 2 months in , not fun . All the best bro
mike588 Posted October 25, 2011 Posted October 25, 2011 Thanks for the additional responses! It does feel better that I'm not alone in this and it is okay to take my time with the healing process. It is just a bit frustrating I was doing well for a few weeks not thinking of her and then bam feels like week 5 again. Though I was initially hung up over the details of the break up and repeating conversations in my head, I am only missing the girl that I once knew and wanted to marry It happens. A few weeks ago I thought I was doing so well and felt good about not dwelling on her,,,, then out of the blue WHAM!! it hit me hard like it just happened all over again. Expect it to happen, sorry. Until I completely heal I stay away from places we used to visit because they seem to trigger my thoughs of her.
musicSaves12 Posted October 25, 2011 Posted October 25, 2011 This is such a great place by the way everyone working together to feel better. I have had some crazy dreams about my ex the past couple of nights so I feel for you buddy it will pass and you won't be bothered by her again.
stunned8165 Posted October 25, 2011 Posted October 25, 2011 I know how you feel. Together 3 years, was the only dad her 4 & 5 yr olds knew. She left me for her boss. I loved them like they were my own kids and she was my wife. So did my family. ... But I think about them every day. All day. Still have a nasty pit in my gut. I try to stay busy, work out, date otrher women. But I still miss them. No phone contact for almost 5 months. Just a couple of e mails here and there. And I get angry with my self after being with another woman because I feel guilty. Go figure.. But I guess all we can do is out best. And the people here who say just move on have no clue what it's like. Some of us are built differently then those who say that. We all have our own ways of dealing with it I suppose.. Me? I'm not sure what I would do if she called admitting she made a huge mistake. I probably wouldn't let her back in my life... But the fact still remains, I miss my family unit, miss the kids and miss who I THOUGHT she was.. I know it's hard, be we have try.
CaliBabe Posted October 26, 2011 Posted October 26, 2011 Oh I feel you. It has been 6 months since being broken up and no contact. I think maybe a single email and text. Although I have met someone else who I am pretty fond of and being fulfilled in a sexual way, I still think about my ex. Every hour of everyday that I am concious I think of him. I am giving him the space that he needs in hopes that he will take care of what he needs to and come back to me. I know this is quite unrealistic but I am still in love. I just hope that with more time I can fully move on and learn to love again.
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