iaudio Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 Few weeks back, she texts me out of the blue and says that she is finally done with her ex. (She wasn't quite over him when we dated) After we broke it off, we didn't talk for months. She said she wasn't really ready for another relationship right now, and wanted to see where things went. I said I didn't have a problem with that. (Part of the reason why we ended things before is that she felt things were moving too fast for her liking) I agreed with her that we won't rush anything. We went on a long hike one day... (couple hours). That night, she texts me and asks if she scares me. I told her no, that she didn't. She said that sometimes based on our conversations, that she thinks she scares me. That sometimes she even scares her self. (I think she was joking). The next day, we are texting and she gives me a " :** " face. Not knowing what the heck that is, I ask her.. she said its a 'kissy face', and I am such a "romantico, ha ha". We both laughed... The week after, we go out. We have a good time, chat get something to eat. About a week later, she tells me that "things aren't moving fast enough" for her. She said that even though we understand each other well, get along well, have the same outlook on life... that she needs something else to be a 'couple'. I ask her what she is on about.. she says that she likes me, but doesn't feel that chemistry. That she tried 'testing the waters', with the text the week before. I told that she is being silly... and that she said it even herself that she wanted to take it slow. Seeing how this wasn't going to go anywhere, I told her that perhaps we should part ways. But, she wouldn't just agree to and stop the conversation. She kept bringing up other topics to talk about.... then she finally asked "Are we going to remain friends, without the pressure for something more?" I told her no, I don't think that could happen. I told her that if she had a change of heart, she knows how to contact me. Is the "I need to take things slow" just a codeword for "I want things to go faster" ?
dasein Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 (edited) Odds are she had just gotten bad feedback from the ex, either he is involved with someone new, rejected her in some way, etc. She immediately texts you and probably others. In the interim, the ex has come back into the picture or one of the other dudes gave her whatever she was looking for, sex, attention, emotional tampon, better than you did. Never ever ever take the actions or statements of women at face value, there is subtext so many times that it is a safe assumption that there always is. You will be right 90% of the time and those are good betting odds. In cases like this, move directly to sex, will give you an immediate answer as to whether you should spend/waste your time further. Edited October 24, 2011 by dasein
Author iaudio Posted October 24, 2011 Author Posted October 24, 2011 Odds are she had just gotten bad feedback from the ex, either he is involved with someone new, rejected her in some way, etc. She immediately texts you and probably others. In the interim, the ex has come back into the picture or one of the other dudes gave her whatever she was looking for, sex, attention, emotional tampon, better than you did. Never ever ever take the actions or statements of women at face value, there is subtext so many times that it is a safe assumption that there always is. You will be right 90% of the time and those are good betting odds. In cases like this, move directly to sex, will give you an immediate answer as to whether you should spend/waste your time further. Is there any other method of dealing with the 'subtext' other than perhaps doing the opposite of what she says?
dasein Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 As I said before, try to have sex with her, short circuits all sorts of female chicanery and gives you an immediate answer. Now, if she has sex with you, it doesn't necessarily mean she isn't just using you temporarily, but it does lessen the likelihood and at least you get some sex. In general, women coming back into your life suddenly without a direct explanation of why things have changed, "I think I made a big mistake by not taking you seriously" or the like, are bad bets. They are usually medicating some setback by seeking attention from you and others. Once the setback reverses or they get over it, there needs to be some plausible reason why they got back in touch with you in the first place or they are likely to fade right back out. BTW, IME, "I'm finally done with my ex" usually means "My ex rejected me" or "I'm really mad at my ex and need some backburner support."
InJest Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 As I said before, try to have sex with her, short circuits all sorts of female chicanery and gives you an immediate answer. Now, if she has sex with you, it doesn't necessarily mean she isn't just using you temporarily, but it does lessen the likelihood and at least you get some sex. In general, women coming back into your life suddenly without a direct explanation of why things have changed, "I think I made a big mistake by not taking you seriously" or the like, are bad bets. They are usually medicating some setback by seeking attention from you and others. Once the setback reverses or they get over it, there needs to be some plausible reason why they got back in touch with you in the first place or they are likely to fade right back out. BTW, IME, "I'm finally done with my ex" usually means "My ex rejected me" or "I'm really mad at my ex and need some backburner support." I second this. Treat her as nothing but a sex object, and put very little effort in, for now.
Recommended Posts