lovehurts.x Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 It's been 3 weeks now since my break up. I feel like I have zero self-confidence and my self-esteem has hit rock bottom. Some days I can feel okay-ish, but other days I just feel really anxious and depressed. And the thought of bumping into my ex sends me into panic. The times I have seen him around campus, I feel so sick and my face must turn a deep purple or something!! I'd just like to know if anyone else feels the same/has similar experiences? I hate it...
headsashed Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 Its normal to feel that way,im 6 weeks into being dumped and my confidence and self esteem is still rock bottom,i do have good days though but not many. Im in a similar sitaution as you regarding seeing the ex,i live very very close to mine and see her drive past pretty often,my face just turns purple and i have to turn my head away. Only way to get your confidence etc back up is to go out and enjoy urself,its what i do anyway,even if it only lasts 1 hour,its better than none at all.
Nickelbee Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 When i got dumped, she already had passed on so many remarks on my body i.e and also many subtle comments about my clothing, appereance that i already was struggling with low self confidence withun the relationship. When i met her,i was just average joe- did never care of my looks too much but like to of course keep myself well dressed etc. She was very " fashionable" and what you call "magazine girl looking". I still dated her for many years...after the break up i understood that i let my self confodence be chipped away slowly - but surely - because of her comments. Ive always been with girls which are very attractive and pleasing to the eye ( maybe that is my problem), but never thout about my appereance before now.... I had the same issue as the thread starter....now i have packed on sme muscles, and feel well. I have not been dating, because i want to feel good about nyself first, which i think i wll very very soon. Remember that they found you attractive for who you are! Be who you are as i try to live by that,, but if you chisel some of your body/ looks - youre getting better at who you are. Very shallow, but the world hese days is a lot about appereance unfortunately. Just welcome to wherever you are, and go from here. You might fell ugly on the out and inside- but youre not. He might look beautiful now to you, because that is how the mond plays us. You are beautiful, and the best part; you can always be more beautiful! Start today! I strived yself to the gym after break up, but now if i dont go i feel cRazy! It helps a lot+ enjoy yourself wheter that is crying, missing him, laughing fake or just lying in bed.... It gets a lot better. Trust me i know exactly like many others. Take care. I
radiodarcy Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 (edited) completely normal. i'm pretty much over the ex who brought me here to loveshack. i started getting back into dating again and got rejected by not one but two guys in one day needless to say, it sucked. so yeah - - i spent the weekend moping about and indulged in some retail therapy. but as headsashed said, by sunday night i forced myself to focus on doing something i liked. i love to read. so i picked up a book and before i knew it i had forgotten about those bozos so allow yourself to feel the pain - - it's important. but don't let yourself dwell on it - - take a break from it and find a distraction whether it's hanging out with friends or going to a movie. but above all, remind yourself that - - while it may take time - - the feeling will pass and you will be ok. Edited October 24, 2011 by radiodarcy
macarena Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 yes its normal. Pride plays it all and one thing that effects the most is shattered pride. However you have to look at it more on a general level, rather than a personal one. Two people split up, because they're not good for each other. After a break up, the concerned individuals, especially those who get dumped, tend to get delusional and actually believing that things were fine when they werent. I know its hard to be suddenly apart from a personal you had deep feelings for. It leaves an empty space. But dont waste too much time and energy on it. I know that you maybe feel apathetic and feeling like doing absolutely nothing, but nonetheless you have to force yourself to do things. Go out (even if you dont have friends..go out in a bar..dress nice and make a mind set that f''ck all i am going to have fun) Be angry at yourself for wasting your time. Slap your face and do something. If you had a boyfriend it should be self reassuring enough that you're capable of re finding another guy. or hell no, maybe just book a flight to somewhere and do something spontaneous. Just dont sit there feeling sorry for yourself. The latter choice is lazy. Grow up over and above it. Believe me, life is too short and there are so many things that can compensate the void.
LSgirl Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 It's so much easier said than done though. Yesterday after work, I went straight home and lied on my bed until I went to sleep. That was a day wasted but I even tried reading a few pages of a book but I kept thinking about him. My boyfriend is very sociable and has many different groups of friends, he's not the type to stay home and sulk like I am. I'm more of an introvert, I tend to stay home most nights and watch a movie or read, so I feel even more alone. I have a few friends but they're too busy for my pity party so I know it's going to be up to me to meet new people, but I just don't have much self-esteem at this point. I keep thinking I'll never find a better guy like my ex, and before I even met him i was single for 2 years! It's very discouraging, the one guy I finally do meet was stil heartbroken from his ex, ugh...
mike588 Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 It's so much easier said than done though. Yesterday after work, I went straight home and lied on my bed until I went to sleep. That was a day wasted but I even tried reading a few pages of a book but I kept thinking about him. My boyfriend is very sociable and has many different groups of friends, he's not the type to stay home and sulk like I am. I'm more of an introvert, I tend to stay home most nights and watch a movie or read, so I feel even more alone. I have a few friends but they're too busy for my pity party so I know it's going to be up to me to meet new people, but I just don't have much self-esteem at this point. I keep thinking I'll never find a better guy like my ex, and before I even met him i was single for 2 years! It's very discouraging, the one guy I finally do meet was stil heartbroken from his ex, ugh... I know how you feel. 3 months ago after my ex. g/f dumped me not only was my heart shattered but so was/is my self-esteem. At this time I just don't feel like I'm good enough for anyone else, don't have alot of friends and spend alot of time alone too. Since my ex. went back to her ex it also makes me feel like I wasn't good enough to keep her even though I was so good to her. I always believed if you treat him/her good, don't cheat etc. they would stick around,, guess not,,, talk about an ego and self esteem blow!!
immitable Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 absolutely normal. It fades away with time, I guess it depends on the person but definitely gets better with time. Keep your head high
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