Bobby289 Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 So when I talk to my ex when we are alone she is the same person I know and in love. She will text me back when she is alone and have a conversation, but if she is with a friend it is a different story. She will be rude in the texts and try to bring up the past or just ignore me all together and then when she is alone will be sweet. WTF I text her and told her I know who she is on the inside but feel like I dont know who she is right now. I guess I am ready to just say screw it and block her all together...
headsashed Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 My ex has been the same,mostly the same person i fell inlove with etc when we talk,but soon as she is with her friends she is rude,disinterested,ignorent. I think its all just a front when they are with their friends.
Author Bobby289 Posted October 24, 2011 Author Posted October 24, 2011 Stubbornness will be the fault of any reconciliation I think. I have been trying to make efforts and she acts like it to (alone) then that all changes when her friends have a say. I guess that will be on her when I block off every channel of communication to her. Just sick of giving 100% and getting 5% return to someone who was always there for me and visa versa when she wasn't with her friends everyday.
headsashed Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 and who says friends doesnt change people,because they do and ive got 1st hand proof of that,their loss in the end though because i would have been true to her for life,and now her new friends seem to be drifiting from her and she will soon be lonely,maybe then ill start getting all the nice txts but oops,too little too late in my eyes.
Author Bobby289 Posted October 24, 2011 Author Posted October 24, 2011 Yeah the sad thing is that she knows they are bad friends for her as she told me while we dated and she cut them off. Now they are all buddy buddy again... Feel like at some level she goes out with them because thats all she had right now
joseph17 Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 People do act differently around friends. This is a proven fact. She is just putting up a front because she doesn't want to look bad in front of her friends. Or she is probably drunk with her friends and talking ****. You really don't state that you want her back only that you'll ditch her if she keeps acting the way she does. Do you want her back?
Author Bobby289 Posted October 24, 2011 Author Posted October 24, 2011 I do want her back, but I want HER. I want the beautiful, closet nerd, sarcastic and loving person I know. Not the rude and superficial person she pretends to be around her friends. Its been a month since the break up so I can't keep watching her be this person and keep me on a string it's not fair to me even if I have to loose the person I know she is
norajane Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 People certainly "develop" even if they don't necessarily "change". Meaning, if your gf is a younger woman, she probably still has not fully developed into the adult she will be. The 20's is a decade of huge growth and change and development - it's the first decade of adulthood. So, your gf is showing you who she is developing into: the kind of person her friends are. You can tell a lot about a person by the people they hang out with because that is a CHOICE. She is choosing to be with those people and to behave like those people and to fit in with those people. Therefore, that IS who she is in addition to being the person you fell for. If she keeps making choices to be like her friends, she is moving away from being the person you fell in love with and like.
Author Bobby289 Posted October 24, 2011 Author Posted October 24, 2011 Just depressing that is the path she is choosing, I'm not going to say anything to her about it and that I think its a bad idea. I know she will eventually realize what is right just sucks watching it with my own eyes...
norajane Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 I know she will eventually realize what is right Actually, no, you don't know that for sure. You hope she will realize it, but you don't know that she will. She may actually become that person that she is when with her friends if that attitude and lifestyle is appealing to her.
Author Bobby289 Posted October 24, 2011 Author Posted October 24, 2011 Yeah you're right, guess it will just make it easier for me to let go of that person I used to know.
Buttercup84 Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 Those people are weak minded . My ex is easily influenced by his friends who are up to no good . I don't want to be with someone who's like that .
flyguy23 Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 Wow this thread describes my ex perfectly. When I met her she was one person but after 5 years of dating she is totally different, she acts just like her friends, dresses like them talks like them etc. Just a follower and I can't stand her friends, so artificial and not unique at all. That is one thing I repeat to myself when I miss her. The girl I loved is gone..
headsashed Posted October 25, 2011 Posted October 25, 2011 My ex actually text the other night saying i was right about karma and she is unhappy about the person she has become and wants her old self back,i never replied but unlucky her,she chose that route with her friends,she can deal with it. I do miss the person i fell inlove with but i dislike the rude,ignorent,uncaring,selfish woman she is now,if she does become her old self then good for her,but by then it will be too little too late because i will have fully moved on. I admit i have changed since i was in the relationship and now im tryin to get back to the person i used to be,i attracted girls then,had fun,didnt have a care in the world,it was great,just wish i could change as quickly as she did.
BLuvv Posted October 25, 2011 Posted October 25, 2011 I think sometimes people do change. Maybe she thinks this wild life is what she really wants and is trying to shed her old image. Although, if she isn't really like that, likely she will go back to her old ways, but you don't know when or if she will, and can't control that. I think she sounds confused, but sticking around while she isn't trying wont make her choose you or her old life. I am learning the hard way that it doesn't work to stick around and hope trying hard enough will make things work. It really does have to be equal, effortwise from both people. She seems like right now she has other priorities. You deserve someone who would put you first.
ffw Posted October 25, 2011 Posted October 25, 2011 People change when they change for their ownsake. If they change for someone else, it will be a temporary one.
Author Bobby289 Posted October 26, 2011 Author Posted October 26, 2011 My ex actually text the other night saying i was right about karma and she is unhappy about the person she has become and wants her old self back,i never replied but unlucky her,she chose that route with her friends,she can deal with it. I do miss the person i fell inlove with but i dislike the rude,ignorent,uncaring,selfish woman she is now,if she does become her old self then good for her,but by then it will be too little too late because i will have fully moved on. I admit i have changed since i was in the relationship and now im tryin to get back to the person i used to be,i attracted girls then,had fun,didnt have a care in the world,it was great,just wish i could change as quickly as she did. That's awesome for you man, good to hear you are standing your ground. Yeah I'm getting back to my old self, slowly but surely
Author Bobby289 Posted October 26, 2011 Author Posted October 26, 2011 Yeah idk what she is doing but it's her life, not mine. I can only hope she makes the right choices.
Recommended Posts