reallypo Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 I know some of you may tell me..."who cares"..."move on"...."does it really matter?" but those are answers i don't want to hear. seen those answers in different posts already. i want to hear life experiences from people who actually have knowledge or experience with this topic. i know statistics or generalization doesn't matter....that all is based on the "individual". but i just want to know what other people have gone thru. I want to hear from people who have cheated or people who have been cheated on and heard stories of their cheating ex. Recap: i was cheated on.
stunned8165 Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 I know some of you may tell me..."who cares"..."move on"...."does it really matter?" but those are answers i don't want to hear. seen those answers in different posts already. i want to hear life experiences from people who actually have knowledge or experience with this topic. i know statistics or generalization doesn't matter....that all is based on the "individual". but i just want to know what other people have gone thru. I want to hear from people who have cheated or people who have been cheated on and heard stories of their cheating ex. Recap: i was cheated on. I dated a girl for three years who has two young children who just turned 4 and 5 in August. They have no dad in their lives. I am the only Dad they know. I raised them for three years like they were my own, my family adopted them in as if she was my wife and those were my children, I paid the bills when we decided to live together in my home, great area, grade a schools, did 90% of the laundry, took care of the cars, yard, helped cleaned the house and even taught the 5 year old girl how to write her name before kindergarten. The children were from two different fathers. She's 38 years old and I was really good and loyal to her and her kids.. But what does she do?.. She cheats on me with her boss. Leaves me for him. A real creep to because he does this to all the girls that work for him.. Nice huh? Is the grass always greener on the other side?... Well, you and I both know how that will turn out. Why can't people just grasp onto a good thing? Embrace what they have.
immitable Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 I believe people cheat for various reasons, they want out, they think grass is greener, they don't feel loved enough, need for affection, or simply boredom. I also believe that the upbringing has to do with it if not genes as well. It is more likely for a woman to cheat if her mother cheated or for a man if his father was a cheater but there are always exceptions to the rule. What does a person who cheated go through, after the breakup they are certainly not relieved. It is just after the breakup that they realise what they have lost.
cerridwen Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 My last ex needed the attention, the validation and admiration of many. He had been a high school, college All-American, then professional athlete. I met him in NY as he transitioned into law school after being injured and not able to play again. Throughout his life, he was admired for his charisma and athleticism, so not being in the limelight was a huge bruise to his ego. His salve of choice was the attention of females. While he never physically cheated, the threat of it was enough for me. I have no doubt he would have eventually. He showed all the signs, including laying some groundwork. So, despite the heavy pursuit and courtship he visited on me, and the high of being with such a dynamic personality, I left. Repeatedly. He wasn't easy to give up but the last attempt took. I'm better for it. I miss him occasionally (he was wicked smart and I would listen to him discuss politics and economics like a rapt groupie). But I no longer live with knots in my stomach or the constant worry of if he was indeed where he professed to be. Life's taken on a brighter shine. There are simply too many good men available, to be with one so deficient.
immitable Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 Life's taken on a brighter shine. There are simply too many good men available, to be with one so deficient. I like your post, but would just like to add male perspective to that. You girls like men who know with women and for us guys to be able to understand females we need to experience more women in order for us to grow up. If we are not grown up you gtend to leave us for some womanizer.
cerridwen Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 I like your post, but would just like to add male perspective to that. You girls like men who know with women and for us guys to be able to understand females we need to experience more women in order for us to grow up. If we are not grown up you gtend to leave us for some womanizer. Yes, I agree immitable, that gaining experience with women can help with understanding them. By all means get out there. Date much, date often, fall in love, move in together, keep it FWB, any of that is fine. But also keep it honorable. Gain your experience but not at the price of being a cheater/womanizer. Respectfully, I say the bolded above is not true. Many women on this board left womanizers once they became wise to their game.
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