jfxxxx Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 obviously, this isn't the case for every guy out there but i do know that some guys do withdraw themselves from relationships when they fear commitment and how strong their feelings are developing. why do guys do this, or feel the need to do this? if something is going right, why dont you just let it be.
mike588 Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 obviously, this isn't the case for every guy out there but i do know that some guys do withdraw themselves from relationships when they fear commitment and how strong their feelings are developing. why do guys do this, or feel the need to do this? if something is going right, why dont you just let it be. I can't speak for all guys but myself and all the guys I know want and like a commitment if they really love the girl.
69ways Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 Commitment to my ex is the only thing that would make me happy in this world, so NO , not all guys are scared
geegirl Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 I don't think it's about "if something is going right, why don't you let it be" but more so if they want it or not. It can be right to the person that is emotionally available and wanting to commit but if it's not what the other wants, then they can let it go no matter how great it is because they have no intent on full investment. Guys that are afraid of commitment, want to have the pleasures and benefits of an R but that is as far as it goes. So most times, they may seem happy with it IF there are no expectations of it going any further, but once there are signs that they have to put in more than they are able to give, they abandon the R "fearing commitment" because they can't comply/keep up with the progression of the R.
Ajax Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 Fear of commitment is not an issue that solely affects men. Women can be just as anxious about committing to a relationship as a man.
k100danny Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 This is not gender specific in terms of men fearing commitment. I think there are two ways of looking at it, some people do have attachment issues, they do not want to depend on people or they fear it will take away some of their independance ect. I would suggest reading up on adult romantic attachments. There is another way to look at it is that the person doesnt fear commitment but just found out they couldnt give what you wanted or that they didnt see a long term future. most people if they are secure in the relationship and it is progressing the way they both hoped would just let it be but to say this to someone who actually cant just let it be is pointless because it is how someone else feels and there is not a lot you can do about this fact.
69ways Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 My ex (female) bought her engagement dress and two days later she left me...... Looks like fear....
k100danny Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 It could be fear or realising it wasnt what she wanted. But i think the way to look at it is if this person feels this way with fear ect then im sure that is not what you want, you wouldnt want a person who you didnt make feel really secure surely? I know we have a tendancy to look at the person we want to be with and justify things but sometimes you have to say i did everything i could and we just werent right for each other. My ex pursued me and said i was playing hard to get ect as we started to get together, she was very happy but i agrued with her as i felt she wasnt ready for a comitted relationship. in the end she broke up with me as i assume she realised that she couldnt give me what i need. I thought about the fact that she told everyone she loved me, said she had never felt that way so she must have gotten scared. I blamed myself for pushing her away and said dont be scared if you feel that way but you cant change how someone views things themself.
thatone Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 it isn't gender specific, as others mentioned. women expect men to approach them, plan dates, 'prove' themselves to women for lack of a better word, and after a few months have gone by, you have to honestly consider "is she meeting me halfway?" if the answer is no, then you withdraw and go through the motions until she starts to put the same amount of effort in, or you find someone else.
LSgirl Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 I feel like that's how my bf was, he just wanted the feeling of being a relationship, but he had an emotional wall up (bc of his ex of 8 years cheated on him) so he never fully invested in me. He was an awesome boyfriend but when it came down to talk about anything serious about how I felt, then he just didn't talk. If I started talking about the way we communicate (of his lack thereof) then he would shut down. It was really frustrating and sad for me bc if put in 100% like I did, it could have been so great...
joseph17 Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 This is a topic for both genders and it usually has to deal with past relationships. If the person is not completely healed from a hurtful relationship those feelings will follow to each and every relationship. Fear of commitment only comes from being damaged and not ready to commit themselves to a single person. It is hard to trust another person when you have been deceived by a loved one and not ready to trust another in fear of getting hurt again. I know this happened to me after a long marriage and not taking time to heal myself before jumping into another relationship
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