beefolive Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 Ive posted a bit previously about splitting up with my ex gf.....She moved onto someone else less than 3 weeks after we split. We had been together for two years when we split. We worked together and after we split she still acted exactly the same to me, she said it had always been like that! Anyway i have since moved jobs and since the moment i left 2 and a half weeks ago, i havnt heard from her or contacted her myself. Thing is, all i think about is her, all i want to do is ring her or text her. I know it wont make any difference, i put things out there for her before i left and she didnt respond. Is there any hope with her?, do i just leave it and give her time. Im just finding it hard to move on.
mike588 Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 Ive posted a bit previously about splitting up with my ex gf.....She moved onto someone else less than 3 weeks after we split. We had been together for two years when we split. We worked together and after we split she still acted exactly the same to me, she said it had always been like that! Anyway i have since moved jobs and since the moment i left 2 and a half weeks ago, i havnt heard from her or contacted her myself. Thing is, all i think about is her, all i want to do is ring her or text her. I know it wont make any difference, i put things out there for her before i left and she didnt respond. Is there any hope with her?, do i just leave it and give her time. Im just finding it hard to move on. I know how you feel. My ex. g/f of about 1 year dumped me for her ex. 3 months ago and I too think about her alot and want to contact her but haven't yet. I think we are in the same boat,, they haven't contacted us because their caught up in the moment with their new b/f,,, give her more time and maybe when the newness of their relationship settles down maybe she will reach out to you. In the mean time try to move on.
stunned8165 Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 I know how you feel. My ex. g/f of about 1 year dumped me for her ex. 3 months ago and I too think about her alot and want to contact her but haven't yet. I think we are in the same boat,, they haven't contacted us because their caught up in the moment with their new b/f,,, give her more time and maybe when the newness of their relationship settles down maybe she will reach out to you. In the mean time try to move on. How long does that newness last? I dated a girl for three years who has two young children who just turned 4 and 5 in August. They have no dad in their lives. I am the only Dad they know. I raised them for three years like they were my own, my family adopted them in as if she was my wife and those were my children, I paid the bills when we decided to live together in my home, great area, grade a schools, did 90% of the laundry, took care of the cars, yard, helped cleaned the house and even taught the 5 year old girl how to write her name before kindergarten. The children were from two different fathers. She's 38 years old and I was very good to her and her kids and loyal too. But what does she do?.. She cheats on me with her boss. Leaves me for him. A real creep to because he does this to all the girls that work for him.. Nice huh? Is the grass always greener on the other side?... Well, you and I both know how that will turn out. Why can't people just grasp onto a good thing? Embrace what they have.
LSgirl Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 I wouldn't say rebounds always fail, although i may have been in one (we lasted 10 months and he had just come out of a 8 year relationship) but it depends on the situation. At some point, everyone is a rebound right? There's always one relationship after another and some can be successful. For me, I can move on if I meet somebody else, I think for girls, by the time they dump their bf, they've already moved on emotionally so it can be easier. But OP, did she break up with you to be with him or you guys mututally split and she happened to meet someone else?
joseph17 Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 It sounds to me like she was already seeing this guy. You could get her back but you have to get out there and be sociable. Date other girls and give her a taste of her own medicine. You just have to play this cool and be patient. If it doesn't get her back at least you have back ups and not sitting at home wondering what could have been.
mike588 Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 How long does that newness last? I dated a girl for three years who has two young children who just turned 4 and 5 in August. They have no dad in their lives. I am the only Dad they know. I raised them for three years like they were my own, my family adopted them in as if she was my wife and those were my children, I paid the bills when we decided to live together in my home, great area, grade a schools, did 90% of the laundry, took care of the cars, yard, helped cleaned the house and even taught the 5 year old girl how to write her name before kindergarten. The children were from two different fathers. She's 38 years old and I was very good to her and her kids and loyal too. But what does she do?.. She cheats on me with her boss. Leaves me for him. A real creep to because he does this to all the girls that work for him.. Nice huh? Is the grass always greener on the other side?... Well, you and I both know how that will turn out. Why can't people just grasp onto a good thing? Embrace what they have. Wow you did alot for her like I did my ex g/f.,, no kids, just a 16 yr. old daughter who after some time I felt like she was my daughter. So your's left you for her boss,,, mind dumped me for her ex. Sucks huh! As far as your question about how long does the newness last, look at it like a honeymoon period when you 1st meet someone,,, 6 months?? My case my be different since they already had 2 honey periods prior,, yep 3rd time back. I don't know why they just can't embrace what they have especially if you were good to them, loss of attraction I guess. Your just as confused as I am,, give it time, don't contact her and see what happens. Good luck
ken_25 Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 At some point, everyone is a rebound right? No. Beefolive, just keep grinding this out. You've done well in not giving in. I hope you continue to be strong and not reach out to her. If she wants you, she will contact you. Just give it time, try to shift focus towards you as much as you can. It will get better, let yourself heal and see how you're perspective changes. Give her space, let her go off and make her mistakes and see what happens.
D-Lish Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 B, The best thing for you to do is to remain NC. Trust me when I tell you that you're better off NOT knowing what she is doing. It's good you've moved on to another job and don't have to face her everyday. It takes some time to get used to the idea of being apart. It took me about 5 months to get over my ex, it would have taken a lot longer had I remained in contact with him. NC is your friend right now, and it's going to help you heal. It's natural to want to speak to an ex, but the outcome is rarely what you'd want it to be. You've laid everything out for her, so she knows how you feel. I don't suggest you wait, I suggest you try and move forward as best you can. You should be using this time to make improvements in your life. Throw yourself into your job, a hobby, your friends... Set some small goals and concentrate on achieving them. Whether or not she comes back is uncertain, but you have to treat it like she's not in order to begin the process of healing. All I can tell you is that if this is permanent- you will get over it at some point, and you will be okay. I know how much it hurts, I've been there too, and six months later I'm over it. Things are still fresh for you, but things will get better. Something to keep in mind, healing doesn't take place on its own, you have to participating in the process. Stay NC, stay strong, and use this time to look after yourself.
Author beefolive Posted October 24, 2011 Author Posted October 24, 2011 Thanks for the help and suggestions, It is really tough, i almost cracked and text her today. Thing is, i thought to myself what will it achieve?..she knows how i feel. I couldnt have made it any clearer to her. I said when i left that i didnt like how she became really cold and didnt talk about the break up with me at all after it happened but i respected that it was her way of dealing with things. In my head, for some reason ive always thought things would work out however im beginning to lose hope now!
D-Lish Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 Thanks for the help and suggestions, It is really tough, i almost cracked and text her today. Thing is, i thought to myself what will it achieve?..she knows how i feel. I couldnt have made it any clearer to her. I said when i left that i didnt like how she became really cold and didnt talk about the break up with me at all after it happened but i respected that it was her way of dealing with things. In my head, for some reason ive always thought things would work out however im beginning to lose hope now! That's always a good way to approach things when you feel yourself crumbling. Always think it through first and ask yourself a variety of questions. What are you doing for yourself right now to help you move on?
Author beefolive Posted October 25, 2011 Author Posted October 25, 2011 Ive been trying to improve myself and change things that i didnt quite like about myself. Im working towards achieving a couple of small goals and ive thrown myself into my new job. Thing is, i still cant stop thinking about her. I wake up doing it and i go to sleep doing it!. Even though i know there is another man involved now!..I mean, what am i playing at, i have no chance of getting her back now and would i take her back... I just hate not having her in my life, i know people say it will get better and easier etc etc but at the moment it doesnt feel like that at all. Im still sitting thinking, shall i text her or not....maybe i would get a reply!, maybe not
Author beefolive Posted October 27, 2011 Author Posted October 27, 2011 Well i managed to resist texting her...then out of the blue last night i get a text from her asking hiow my new job was going and that she found it really wierd me not being in work with her and bumping into her all the time. I replied and said the new job was good and how was she........was the right thing to do and what is my next move. Do i stay NC again or take this as a hint to start contact with her now
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