infinity8245 Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 I'm about a month and a half into the breakup with my ex of 4+ years. She dumped me. Up until today, things seemed to only be getting worse and I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. However, I think I may have hit a turning point today, and I thought I would take the time to share and sort things out in my head. I had gone through a really bad breakup in my past (though admittedly not as bad as this one) and during the time, I kept a journal. I dug up my old journal and read through it, looking for some clues as to how I moved on and how I felt about things. This helped a little bit, and helped to give me some perspective on the situation. It reminded me that I felt absolutely terrible before and thought there was no hope of being with someone else, but yet, it happened to me. It helped to remind that there is in fact a light at the end of the tunnel, and that I have done this all before and learned to be happy again. However, what gave me more perspective were interesting entries I found later in the journal. I had written a couple entries about frustrations I was having with my most recent ex in the journal. These entries were written about one year into our 4+ year relationship. I wrote about frustrations I was having and reflecting on some fights that we had. What was so interesting about it, was that the complaints and frustrations with the relationship I had over 3 years ago, are almost identical to some of the ones I have in the wake up the breakup. Up until now, the breakup was killing me because I'm still so in love with my ex and was holding on to hope of reconciliation, though I was really trying not to. But, the entries helped me realize that nothing really changed, and it's unlikely that she ever will, at least not in the ways that would fix our relationship in the future. It gave me the perspective and strength to realize that although I have a great deal of love for this girl and I miss her, she really wasn't the right person for me, and that's OK. I feel like a weight has been lifted from my chest, and although I'm not as happy as I was when I was with her, I'm feeling much better than I have since we split. And to add to everything, I was in such a good mood this morning that I was able to actually envision being with other people. And through mutual friends, I met a beautiful, sweet girl today with stunning eyes. I swear, those eyes could start a war! I'm infatuated, and it feels nice to realize that I can actually start to imagine dating someone else. Maybe I'll ask her on a date sometime soon. The reason I'm writing this is because I want to let all of you know that things will be getting better. I feel that in most cases, there is some kind of turning point where you realize that although you're not completely OK yet, that you realize that you will be again. And believe me, I was in an incredibly dark place for the last several weeks.
mike588 Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 Funny you say that. I also kept a journal/diary before I met my ex. and all the way thru our relationship even up to today. At first and most of the way thru our relationship it was filled with entries of how happy I was and how happy and in love I/she was. How happy she was that I was in her life , how I made her feel special blah blah blah. Around the 7th month together I noticed my entries started to change alittle,,, I'm starting to have doubts about her/us,,,, she doesn't seem to care so much about my needs and so on. Like you reading this has made me look at the relationship in somewhat a different way,,, maybe she wasn't the right girl for me,, I gave so much she didn't etc. Reading thru was painful because there were so many "happy times" but it is also helping me thru these difficult times too when I noticed the doubts I had.
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