flow15 Posted October 23, 2011 Posted October 23, 2011 Haven't posted on here for awhile.. Situation with same ex. Was with my ex on and off for over a year. (I'm his "big" ex according to him, the first girl he truely loved) He made a huge impact on my life, and I still love him a lot. He broke up with me in January and I had enough of him messing with my head, so I went No contact for 6 months. We reconnected again in July and started seeing eachother again, as things had changed. Last time I saw him, 2 weeks ago, his friend told me that he's an ass to me cos he thinks its cos he's scared, and that he encourages him to see me as he thinks I'm good for him and make him a better person. That it's not just sex for him and he's not interested in getting with any random girls.. Had a great time with him, he was so affectionate with me, and I could see he stil has strong feelings for me. However for the past two weeks I've realised Im the one making most effort to keep in contact, I've asked to meet up TWICE both times he says hes 'busy' which i know are just excuses! Whats going on?! I asked him why he's making excuses and why he can't be honest with me, he shouted at me saying hes not making excuses and hang up on me! Haven't heard from him since!? Whats going on? Why can't he just be honest with me and tell me if he thinks its a bad idea we see eachother again, or whether hes met someone else?! Also, I'd like to add.. I really want to message the same friend and ask him if he knows whats going on. Is that completely crazy? Is it a bad idea to involve the friend, even though we already discussed the sitaution?
citrusdrop1688 Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 You need to leave that situation alone. Im kind of in the same situation. Just reconnected with an ex after 3 months. I told him he needed to show me things would be different and needed to see serious effort coming from his part, since the last time we had try to work things out I was always the one trying to get together, contact him, trying to make it work... and I knew that I wasnt willing to be put in that position. Soo far hes gone out of his way to show me things will be different this time. If something changes though and I start to feel the way hes making you feel I would walk away. Because im worth more then that.
Miss S H Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 I think I get how you feel, its amazing how people are so unsure and or unfraid of feeling something real and good for them... so they tend to sabotage the situation, occasionally screaming for more behaviourally... I think for now you should leave it also, but not for too long that it will leave you too anxious I similarly broke up with my ex 1.5 months ago and I sadly for me haven't given up ( im the dumpee ) and last week we messaged and he sent me a msg saying he was in bed, had a bad dream and wished i was there with him... I didn't reply, then two days later asked how he was... he then said he was good, hoped I was good and maybe we could catch up early next week if that suited me? I didn't reply... then on the weekend I asked when it would be ok... and he just replied with ... "Hope ur well" So i sent another text saying, I'm not bad, how are you, what night did you prefer- AND NOTHING. I am left wondering what happened... did he suffer a moment of weakness, then decide again he didn't want to see me? In the space of a day! Surely when he was most vulnerable and saying he wanted me there, surely that means he WANTS me there, but for whatever reason, when he is feeling "strong" enough, he can treat me as though im nothing!
Author flow15 Posted October 24, 2011 Author Posted October 24, 2011 The thing is I'm anxious to kno what's going on. I kno that I should take a hint and assume he wants me out of his life again... But after 2 years.. And after everything we've been through, why can he not b honest with me and show some decency and respect and talk to me rather than disappear. But I don't want to go chasing after him, he hung up on me afterall.. Is it wrong to message his friend and ask him what's going on... Or should I just wait patiently and see if he contacts.. IF he ever does. Miss s h... What a mind ****! I don't get how they can act like they want u one second and disappear the next!
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