If a 1st date goes well does the second date always have to be the following weekend?

[PhillyDude]

Last Night I went on a first date, it went well and we talked and have very nice conversation. she texted me when she arrived home and sent another text this morning. So can the second date be not next weekend but the following weekend as long as we stay in contact on a daily basis through phone/texting?

 

 

I'm doing my best to save money and don't want to go out every single weekend. Thoughts?

[zengirl]

It's weird to wait more than a week between dates, yes. I'd actually find a guy who waited a whole week consistently weird, though. But I'm always looking for an actual relationship when I'm dating, which doesn't seem to be where you're going, PD, since you want to control things a lot of the time.

[PhillyDude]

It's weird to wait more than a week between dates, yes. I'd actually find a guy who waited a whole week consistently weird, though. But I'm always looking for an actual relationship when I'm dating, which doesn't seem to be where you're going, PD, since you want to control things a lot of the time.

 

But if you are on a budget you can't go out every weekend. Damm can i give my account a BREATHER? Keep in mind you are a female and not expected to pay but a guy is

[FitChick]

There are plenty of free things to do. Just do a little research. You will lose momentum if you wait more than a week. No reason you can't date mid-week.

[carhill]

If she expresses interest, as evidenced by the two contacts you've received, sooner is better than later, IMO, for asking out. Do it directly, but leave specifics open.

 

Heck, just hop on the SEPTA and go for a walk somewhere nice. It doesn't have to blow your budget. Spending time together and getting to know each other is the goal, along with some romance. Go with the flow.

[Cee]

You have posted often about dating in Philly being expensive. My guess is it's because you have to drive and parking costs a lot. Center City still has that free parking deal on Wednesday nights, so a date on that night would be less expensive. And you could do a walking tour of Center City murals and that would be free:

 

http://muralarts.org/explore/mural-mile

 

You could get coffee or cocoa at the Last Drop when you are done. The Last Drop is my favorite coffee shop in the city. If you haven't been there, check it out. It's on 13th and Pine. My friend painted a mural on that intersection, so I am quite fond of that area.

[PhillyDude]

If she expresses interest, as evidenced by the two contacts you've received, sooner is better than later, IMO, for asking out. Do it directly, but leave specifics open.

 

Heck, just hop on the SEPTA and go for a walk somewhere nice. It doesn't have to blow your budget. Spending time together and getting to know each other is the goal, along with some romance. Go with the flow.

 

No money was spent last night but that wouldn't be able to continue. That was only because of the first meet and greet. So when does it stop? You just see someone you click with week after week? No gap in between?

[alphamale]

I'm doing my best to save money and don't want to go out every single weekend. Thoughts?

just tell her you're busy next wknd (be vague) and have to get together in two weeks. then tell her you'll call her in a week and a half to set up plans. Stay in NC during the meantime. Period, end of story.

[PhillyDude]

You have posted often about dating in Philly being expensive. My guess is it's because you have to drive and parking costs a lot. Center City still has that free parking deal on Wednesday nights, so a date on that night would be less expensive. And you could do a walking tour of Center City murals and that would be free:

 

http://muralarts.org/explore/mural-mile

 

You could get coffee or cocoa at the Last Drop when you are done. The Last Drop is my favorite coffee shop in the city. If you haven't been there, check it out. It's on 13th and Pine. My friend painted a mural on that intersection, so I am quite fond of that area.

 

Coffee shops are only for the first date.

[alphamale]

Coffee shops are only for the first date.

dude don't take chicks for coffee for the first date - it shows you're unimaginative and cheap. two things that women really hate

[PhillyDude]

just tell her you're busy next wknd (be vague) and have to get together in two weeks. then tell her you'll call her in a week and a half to set up plans. Stay in NC during the meantime. Period, end of story.

 

Yeah that's the plan, I liked it better when i was getting rejected and saving money lol

[PhillyDude]

dude don't take chicks for coffee for the first date - it shows you're unimaginative and cheap. two things that women really hate

 

well i'm on a budget so it will be COFFEE or my apartment

[carhill]

OP, could you clarify if you got a first date kiss or not? Alpha and Art find these important barometers of future potential, I presume regarding elemental attraction. Maybe they can comment on potentials regarding your experience.

 

Another thing to consider is that it does take *some* resources to date. If you have *no* resources to commit, I'd suggest foregoing dating. If you currently have no resources, when are you expecting this to change to a more positive state?

[PhillyDude]

OP, could you clarify if you got a first date kiss or not? Alpha and Art find these important barometers of future potential, I presume regarding elemental attraction. Maybe they can comment on potentials regarding your experience.

 

Another thing to consider is that it does take *some* resources to date. If you have *no* resources to commit, I'd suggest foregoing dating. If you currently have no resources, when are you expecting this to change to a more positive state?

 

it ended with a hug but no kiss. I have realized between Okcupid, POF, and craiglist, I really don't have to pay for dating sites anymore since my last 2 dates came from free sites.

[alphamale]

well i'm on a budget so it will be COFFEE or my apartment

if she's good-looking that ain't gonna fly

[PhillyDude]

if she's good-looking that ain't gonna fly

 

If she is good looking and willing to come to my apartment then I can spend some money lol How much do u think I'm spending on a first date?

[alphamale]

how much do u think i'm spending on a first date?

$3.99?....

[carhill]

it ended with a hug but no kiss. I have realized between Okcupid, POF, and craiglist, I really don't have to pay for dating sites anymore since my last 2 dates came from free sites.

Well, if not already done, take that money you save from not using pay sites and commit it to the dating process. Think of it as more effective use of resources. Also, if you're multi-dating, scale that back for now until more resources are available.

 

I'll be curious to read the timeline consensus based on a first date hug and no kiss.

[PhillyDude]

$3.99?....

 

Until interest is CONFIRMED then I'm not spending anything. Now the girl I met last night has showed interest so far by texting me when she arrived home and this morning and before she went to sleep. So if that continues, then I would not mind spending money on dinner at a nice place and drinks.

 

I want to be a WISE SPENDER not a STUPID SPENDER.

 

A stupid spender would be a guy asking to see a girl again without seeing if she initiates contact first after the first date. If the guy is intiating all the contact then it's probably because she is not interested.

[alphamale]

Until interest is CONFIRMED then I'm not spending anything.

women HATE cheap men ergo no interest will be shown on a $1.69 cup of coffee...

 

Now the girl I met last night has showed interest so far by texting me when she arrived home and this morning and before she went to sleep.

that doesn't mean diddly squat.

 

the first guy that comes along that takes her to a fancy restaurant in his nice car will get to home plate. period.

 

women want resources and men want beauty/youth

[oaks]

You will lose momentum if you wait more than a week.

 

Yes, this would be my concern, too. Work harder on finding something fun-but-cheap to do. Being outside is free - so check the weather forecast.

[zengirl]

But if you are on a budget you can't go out every weekend. Damm can i give my account a BREATHER? Keep in mind you are a female and not expected to pay but a guy is

 

There are TONS of cheap and free things to do everywhere, including in Philly. Pick up the local alt-weekly (the Philadelphia City Paper, I think) and look at the events or something.

 

Besides that, you've said you didn't pay anything for the first date, so a breather from what? All the not paying?

 

But, yes, as Fit Chick says, you will lose momentum, and any girl worth dating will not wait around for you for ages just because you're trying to "figure her out" first. Plenty of girls will go dutch, but few will play these ridiculous games about it.