My life is "good" from the outside looking in, so I feel bad hating it...

[AriaIncognito]

I don't know how to describe what I feel.

 

I feel like I take on too much, all the while, I'm doing nothing.

I feel like I need to make changes in my life - but don't know what. Job maybe. Extracurricular activities, maybe. I don't know.

 

Overall, outside looking in, I'd see my life and say it's fine. I have a job, which today, is a big deal. I feel bad that I sit here loathing the idea of going to work tomorrow (been off on vacation for a few weeks - my one time a year i take off) when others can't find a job. I don't want to feel this way. I was hoping I'd feel refreshed and ready to go back, but I don't. I don't have a bad job. I have a bad commute, and I feel overburdened at my job at times, but overall I really can't say it's bad. I just feel like I'm not living up to my lifes potential, somehow, but I don't know what that potential is????

 

I am in a relationship for 3+ years now, and he is a great person, we have our issues but overall, it's not a bad relationship.

 

I've got some talents that I use extra-curricularly but I often think about quitting that (singing) because often I just feel overwhelmed with it - not sure why.

 

I guess I'm just reaching out to see if others feel this way or if others have felt this way and were able to put a finger on it. I almost feel paralyzed. I want things to be "better" but don't know how to define that..

 

Overall i'd want what anyone would want - a job I love, a life I love. Time to do things I want to do rather than things I feel obligated, or have to do. I met a bunch of people on vacation who had seemingly ideal lives, very happy people, but maybe they were happy just because that's how they are, not because their lives were better.

 

Am I making any sense with any of this?

[Ashbash11]

Hello,

I can't give you amazing advice, because I am pretty much going through the same feelings you just described.. I actually just posted a thread related to what you wrote. When people look at my life, it looks great- I also have a solid 3+ year relationship, good friends, a job, etc, but I don't feel satisfied or happy with that. The question I posed to others was, "what do happy people have that I don't have?" I am thinking that happiness/contentment is a mindset, and is not necessarily dependent on outside circumstances (eg, a job, relationship, etc.). I've met people with HORRIBLE jobs, or bad relationships who are still happy... I guess one important thing to do is to decide what is important to you, and what your "ideal" life would look like, and strive to achieve that. Create measurable goals to achieve it. I like making lists.. maybe create a list of things that you want to change about your life, and then come up with some ways to actually go about doing it.

 

I don't know if this advice helped you at all, but I'm just sort of thinking out loud, because I feel the same way as you do.

 

Cheers!

AB

[thatone]

how old are you two?

 

from my experience getting to (coming up on) 35 the feelings you describe was exactly what i felt like in my 20s. people raise their kids with grand plans and "you can do whatever you want" in our age of self-esteem but when those kids don't accomplish literally everything they thought of it's easy to perceive whatever the outcome they wind up with as failure.

 

by the time i got into my 30s things got better. as i matured i gave up on ideas of grandeur and my thoughts now are much more practical. here's where i am, here's where i'm going, here's how i'm gonna get there, and here's how long it's gonna take. if i make it there sooner then i'll see it as a win, not a loss if everything falls short of perfect.

 

maybe that's just perception changing from half empty to half full. but it's change either way.