Belgian Posted October 23, 2011 Posted October 23, 2011 Hello everyone, this is my first time posting here. I felt the need to tell the real story to someone, so i'll be telling it to you people. It is my first time posting here, and my story is rather painfull, so please don't be too harsh. If my post seems too long, you're not obliged to read it, feel free not to do so. Constructive feedback is always welcome. Before i begin, a few facts: i'm 21, she's 19. She is spontaneous, i'm rational she can get more guys than i can get girls (get = bf/gf, talk, sex,...) Well, here i go: We learned to know each other through a mutual friend, whom she was trying to hook up with but failed. After that rejection she was at an all time low in her life, and then i came around. We connected on a mental level, not so much on a physical level. Yes she is hot, but i don't judge a book by its cover. We became really good friends and evolved into a relationship. The talking was so easy it blew my mind, she was like the long lost soulmate i was looking for, who filled up my life so good. We hooked up in april and had sex in august for the first time. She was 18 back then. Around new year, it hit me that we were arguing and fighting quite a bit. We went on a vacation in february. I wasn't really looking forward to it because of all the fighting. I think that i loved her less back then than i do now. We fought and argued so much on hollyday, but then again, it was also fun doing all the things we did, even if we fought. One day we had an immense fight and we decided to break up. An hour later we were back together with the promise of trying harder. This was the big turning point in the relationship. After that, the relationship started to crumble slowly from her side. She started to be more and more distant, started to care less, be less spontaneous etc... I took this as a sign that i had to do more for her, so for a few months on, up untill the breakup, i really tried my hardest. During the school hollydays, i studied for my exams, while she was almost always away on vacation. I almost didnt hear a thing from her during those 3 months (july/august/september) In september she went to Turkey, and was attracted to a guy that (co�ncidence) lives 20minutes away from her dorm. They apparently had a good time and she wanted to be with him, but said no because of me. After the hollyday she gave us another try but apparently the spark was long gone for her, so she cheated on me 3 times with the guy. Once was on the day after her birthday, right after i was gone from her dorm. We broke up at the start of october and she immediatly started dating with the guy. Now, a week after the break up, they already had sex, but me and her do still talk. (sms/facebook/saw her once for a talk) It is killing me because i did so much for her, while she already was letting me go. She already has another guy (apparently an adonis, great) and they have sex after knowing each other 2 weeks? I still love her to death but i dont know if i can forgive/forget this, so rationally thinking i dont see a future. Emotionally i want her back and a small part, the part that isnt hurt, wants her gone. To top it off, she said: "he's the kind of guy i dreamt of as my prince while i was a little girl" She apparently doesnt care much about how it feels to be cheated on by the love of your life. (only 21 haha but she means so much to me emotionally) Only 2 things are helping me right now: 1) apparently i have a bigger P***S (don't know if it really is true, and maybe it sounds pathetic but it is a stupid male way of thinking.) 2) apparently she and he don't talk as spontaneously and easy as we used to do. Its been a week and its only getting worse. I went partying a few days, talked to lots of girls, but none of them made me spark emotionally. So now she's having a good time with another guy because she moved on already. (apparently her love for me started to detoriate a few months ago) I try to look forward and see the good things of bein rid of her and being single, and yes there are quite a lot of advantages, but my heart doesn't want to accept that. My heart wants her back and gone, i'm emotionally all torn up and i have no idea what to do with my life right now. Today ive been home all day, trying to study, but failed miserably. I feel so alone and so depressed. Normally i never cry, not even at my grandma's funeral, but this week, i couldn't stop. I would love to stay friends, but i think im cheating while saying 'friends' cause i secretly still want to hope for her to see the light. (don't want to be the rebound guy though) The reason i think we grew apart (the fighting) was that she became an adult. I met her in a really bad place in her life, took her back up, and i think that during that time, her thoughts/preferences/point of view... changed. I am truly sorry if the last part of my post seems messy, but its just what is going on in my mind. I hope you understand my point of view. While i'm on the road that represents my life, i can only look back now and wish for things to go back to normal. I know its impossible, but my emotions are winning the fight with my brains. What do i do now? Cause i really have no idea. PS: NC probably is the best but i don't see it happening. Otherwise, it may be the only way for me to get over it, i think time will tell that in a few weeks. PSS: Sorry for my bad grammar PSSS: Please don't think that i'm exagerrating cause i'm only 21 Yours Truly, T
michelleishere Posted October 23, 2011 Posted October 23, 2011 YOU SAID During the school hollydays, i studied for my exams, while she was almost always away on vacation. I almost didnt hear a thing from her during those 3 months (july/august/september) I SAY I was in this same situation. Why wasn't she supportive of you during your exams? I broke up with my ex over this - if they are not there for you now, imagine what it would be like in years to come. My honest advice is try NC. Honestly, she could be in a rebound relationship and not happy at all (you just do not know). Work on yourself She may contact you or she may not - deal with that if (or when) it happens 1st break up is always hard but you are going to be okay
Author Belgian Posted October 23, 2011 Author Posted October 23, 2011 Thank you Michelle, Well she was a little supportive, but not what one should expect from his girlfriend. This was indeed a sign, i hadn't seen that one yet. I know things will get better, but it's always feels so good to be able to talk freely about it with some people. Writing this made me feel really relieved i must say. Rationally she really isn't worth my time anymore. But the heart has its own way of thinking eh
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