sandiego Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 So I went on a first date last night with great girl. We met for a drink, ended up having dinner and spent about 2 1/2 hours together. Great conversation, we shared future visions which were compatible, and had an all around great time. I told her I really liked her and that I was definitely interested in seeing where it could go. She was happy about it, and told me the feeling was mutual. At the end of the date as we left, we shared a hug, and I felt we connected well enough to move in for a kiss. Well, she immediately turned her face away and I received the dreaded cheek. I texted after letting her know I'd love to see her again, and that I had a great time. She replied something to the effect of, "thanks again for dinner, I had a really great time too"....but never mentioned anything about wanting to see me again, also. I'm probably way over-analyzing, and I realize I'll find out sooner or later (I'll give her a call in a day or so), but just thought I'd see if anyone on the forum has any thoughts on whether she's interested, but wanting to move slowly, or if I've been given a sure sign she's not interested. Any advice is appreciated! Sandiego Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 No harm in directly asking her out again. Ask another lady out if she catches your attention. It all settles out in the end. This one knows you're interested and affectionate about your interest. How she feels is how she feels. Give her one more shot and move on. I personally wouldn't give her one more shot because that's my old fart BTDT for a lifetime rule but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that you're not as cynical as I am. Ask someone else out too. Don't forget that part. Variety is the spice of life. Link to post Share on other sites
dispatch3d Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 Lol I got the cheek lately, but I have a way different attitude about it. I'd like to date a girl who wants to kiss me, so my position is she's going to have to do something to move this thing forward (she's the one who decided to not kiss me, and risk it being the end of things). I just feel like us guys let girls run the show a little tooo much. If she turns down a kiss, you're still wondering if she's interested. Something doesn't seem right there. What if you turned down a kiss from her? God forbid lol.... Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 It's an example of where men and women are wired differently. Is it 'fair'? Perhaps not. The middle ground is respecting one's attraction to door #1 while still entertaining current or potential attraction to door #2 or door #3. OP, after what you experienced, if the lady were to agree to go out with you again, would you feel positive about that? If no, then don't ask her. If yes, then do. Everyone is different. Perhaps she enjoyed the date but didn't find you sexually attractive, which is what a kiss on a first date *could* mean. Perhaps she *did* find you attractive but her style is not to kiss someone she barely knows (assuming here) immediately. On and on, many potentials. In my age group, women know what they want or they're not good relationship material. Therefore, we don't waste time. Interest is out there right away or it's not. If yes, move forward. If no, discontinue without prejudice. Is a kiss a sign of that interest? Yeah, it can be. Is it the most important sign? Not necessarily. This all presumes interest in LTR/M. Disregard for casual dating, meaning dating for fun and situational companionship and casual sex. Link to post Share on other sites
K.K. Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 Ack! Embarrassing. Oh well nothing ventured nothing gained. Next time, let the girl make the kiss move. I don't see how anybody dates anymore. All the keeping score and which base somebody got to. Ugh. It all seems to be a big ole contrived ****fest. Trying to go out with a stranger on a 'date' and expecting some kind of chemistry. Gives me the creeps. What happened to the good old days where people just hung out and got just drunk enough to have enough confidence to start making out with whoever was standing closest to them. Now THAT's CHEMISTRY! (only half kidding) Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 What did she eat for dinner? Anything really garlic-y that she was paranoid about? Link to post Share on other sites
thatone Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 What did she eat for dinner? Anything really garlic-y that she was paranoid about? that's why i always have mints or gum in my pocket. gets rid of that possibility . Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 It's not the end of the world. Since you already texted her I advise laying off and letting her see that you aren't aggressive. If there's no further contact after, say, two weeks--yes-that long--contact her again. I have been taken advantage of for dinners more times than I care to recollect. It happens. Don't throw yourself at her. Link to post Share on other sites
seibert253 Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 Been there, done that. IMO her response did not sound optimistic. Dont appear pushy or desparete. Give it 3 or 4 days, then ask her out again Oi. If she wants to go out again, she'll make it clear. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 I told her I really liked her and that I was definitely interested in seeing where it could go. never, ever bring this subject up until the 3rd or 4th date Link to post Share on other sites
Onlyjonley Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 Don't let it discourage you -- I don't kiss on the first date and I know plenty of other girls who won't either. It definitely doesn't mean she doesn't like you. Ask her out again! Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 Don't let it discourage you -- I don't kiss on the first date and I know plenty of other girls who won't either. It definitely doesn't mean she doesn't like you. Ask her out again! from an experienced male perspective if you don't get at least a short kiss on the lips after the first date things don't look good...there are exceptions, however Link to post Share on other sites
Forever Learning Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 Ack! Embarrassing. Oh well nothing ventured nothing gained. Next time, let the girl make the kiss move. I don't see how anybody dates anymore. All the keeping score and which base somebody got to. Ugh. It all seems to be a big ole contrived ****fest. Trying to go out with a stranger on a 'date' and expecting some kind of chemistry. Gives me the creeps. What happened to the good old days where people just hung out and got just drunk enough to have enough confidence to start making out with whoever was standing closest to them. Now THAT's CHEMISTRY! (only half kidding) Hahaha!! Oh, you've opened a floodgate of memories from the '80's. John Seger on the radio and trusty Chevy's. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 Hahaha!! Oh, you've opened a floodgate of memories from the '80's. John Seger on the radio and trusty Chevy's. no, that was cocaine, and that's Bob Seger...he lives a mile from me Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 from an experienced male perspective if you don't get at least a short kiss on the lips after the first date things don't look good...there are exceptions, however Indeed... but those exceptions don't include getting the cheek first.. Link to post Share on other sites
Forever Learning Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 no, that was cocaine, and that's Bob Seger...he lives a mile from me you're right. the 80's took a toll on a few of my brain cells no doubt about it. My kids destroyed the rest for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Pierre Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 Lol I got the cheek lately, but I have a way different attitude about it. I'd like to date a girl who wants to kiss me, so my position is she's going to have to do something to move this thing forward (she's the one who decided to not kiss me, and risk it being the end of things). I just feel like us guys let girls run the show a little tooo much. If she turns down a kiss, you're still wondering if she's interested. Something doesn't seem right there. What if you turned down a kiss from her? God forbid lol.... I got the cheek once or twice when I moved in too soon. I never took that personally or as a sign of being rejected. In fact, I thought it was cute and romantic There are many women that are not ready to kiss ASAP on a date. In fact these women are the better ones. If it turns out she is not interested he will know very soon. However, I put no weight on the cheek move, As I said it is very romantic. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sandiego Posted October 24, 2011 Author Share Posted October 24, 2011 Really great replies, thanks everyone! Lots to think about. I'll call her next week and find out what's up. In the interim, I've got a second date scheduled for Friday with another great girl (however, I definitely got a legitimate kiss from her on our first date). Keeping my options open! Sandiego Link to post Share on other sites
Cypress25 Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 Sheesh, she just wasn't ready for a kiss on the first date. No big deal, lots of women don't like to kiss on the first date. She'll probably be ready on the second date. Link to post Share on other sites
Pierre Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 Really great replies, thanks everyone! Lots to think about. I'll call her next week and find out what's up. In the interim, I've got a second date scheduled for Friday with another great girl (however, I definitely got a legitimate kiss from her on our first date). Keeping my options open! Sandiego I would not pick a woman based on her willingness to kiss right away. In your opinion: Which woman is the better one? The kisser or the one that turned away. BTW, does the woman that turned her face away know you are dating others? Link to post Share on other sites
ffw Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 I got the cheek once or twice when I moved in too soon. I never took that personally or as a sign of being rejected. In fact, I thought it was cute and romantic There are many women that are not ready to kiss ASAP on a date. In fact these women are the better ones. If it turns out she is not interested he will know very soon. However, I put no weight on the cheek move, As I said it is very romantic. I agree with Pierre. From my personal experience, the women who kissed me quiclky were more into lust than love & vice-versa. Link to post Share on other sites
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