miss_28 Posted October 23, 2011 Posted October 23, 2011 ok, so I was set up on a completely blind date with this guy... (no idea what he looked like, what he does, etc.) We met for coffee on Friday and I was pleasantly surprised! Cute, sweet, mutual friends... Our coffee date lasted 4 hours, convo was good, there was definitely chemistry. So much so that he even asked me on a second date for Sunday (today), time, place... he seemed really into me. He texted me Sat. to say he had a great time, (to which I replied I did as well). Thing is, he said he'd call Sat. to confirm our date, but he never did. Now, I'm not so keen on this second date... which may not happen anyways. Why would he do that? Seem interested, set up a second date and then not call? Did I misread his level of interest? Is this dead in the water? How would you react...
Leegh Posted October 23, 2011 Posted October 23, 2011 When you replied to his text did you mention your upcoming date, such as you were looking forward to it, etc.? Maybe he needed some strong encouragement to call. Does he seem like the quiet type? Sometimes it can be very hard for guys to call girls in the early stages.
Author miss_28 Posted October 23, 2011 Author Posted October 23, 2011 (edited) lol, no, he's definitely not the quiet, introverted type, and I'm pretty sure he knows I'm interested... I didn't bring up the second date in the text because we had just finished the first day a few hours before. Had he not specifically said he'd call, this wouldn't have bothered me at all. When he told me he'd call, I told him I was impressed, most guys would play the game of waiting around to call, to which he said "he wasn't like that". Argh. I hope he wasn't feeding me lines all night, because he was damn convincing. Edited October 23, 2011 by miss_28 spelling :S
Leegh Posted October 23, 2011 Posted October 23, 2011 lol, no, he's definitely not the quiet, introverted type, and I'm pretty sure he knows I'm interested... I didn't bring up the second date in the text because we had just finished the first day a few hours before. Had he not specifically said he'd call, this wouldn't have bothered me at all. When he told me he'd call, I told him I was impressed, most guys would play the game of waiting around to call, to which he said "he wasn't like that". Argh. I hope he wasn't feeding me lines all night, because he was damn convincing. I think he probably was too afraid to call you. He wouldn't have asked you out for the second date if he wasn't interested. Since he specifically said he would call you, he should have, or at the very least he should have texted you and said that something came up and that he was unable to see you on Sunday. You could text him a time or two and see what's going on, but if he makes plans with you again and cancels, I would find someone more reliable.
Lilmisus Posted October 23, 2011 Posted October 23, 2011 I agree with them when they say text him or give him a call and see whats up. I wouldn't go past trying to reach out to him once, but if you do so, at least you can't say you didn't try. Sometimes guys do get chicken when it comes to calling, so I wouldn't worry about it too much if I were you, not unless you don't hear from him at all
KathyM Posted October 23, 2011 Posted October 23, 2011 He should have called you when he said he was going to. Not a good sign that he didn't. It doesn't take long to make that call, no matter how busy he might have been. Either he changed his mind, or something better (in his opinion) came along for Sunday plans, or he's playing games with you. Either way, if he does call today, let him know that since you didn't hear from him yesterday, you figured he had other plans, so you made other plans of your own for today. Don't allow him to keep you hanging like that, and I'd seriously reconsider even going out with him at all if he can't even keep a simple promise to call you when he said he would.
Lilmisus Posted October 23, 2011 Posted October 23, 2011 He should have called you when he said he was going to. Not a good sign that he didn't. It doesn't take long to make that call, no matter how busy he might have been. Either he changed his mind, or something better (in his opinion) came along for Sunday plans, or he's playing games with you. Either way, if he does call today, let him know that since you didn't hear from him yesterday, you figured he had other plans, so you made other plans of your own for today. Don't allow him to keep you hanging like that, and I'd seriously reconsider even going out with him at all if he can't even keep a simple promise to call you when he said he would. You say that he may be playing games with her like it's a bad thing, yet you tell her to play a game back by saying that since she didn't hear from him to make it seem like she has made plans for today...? If one person shouldn't play a game while dating, why should the other? I say just be honest if and when you do hear from him by bringing up his not calling yesterday, but don't make up some story to go along with it.
KathyM Posted October 23, 2011 Posted October 23, 2011 You say that he may be playing games with her like it's a bad thing, yet you tell her to play a game back by saying that since she didn't hear from him to make it seem like she has made plans for today...? If one person shouldn't play a game while dating, why should the other? I say just be honest if and when you do hear from him by bringing up his not calling yesterday, but don't make up some story to go along with it. It's not playing a game if she decides to do something else today rather than be still waiting for a call that never came and ready to accept a date for today after he failed to call yesterday. It's not playing a game for her to decide to spend her time today on something else. It doesn't even have to be something outside of the house. She could have planned to watch a movie at home or done something else. The reason to do that is to show a guy that you value your time, you're not sitting around waiting on pins and needles for the call, and that he is not the be all and end all. I consider it valuing yourself, and letting the guy realize that he needs to value you also. I don't consider that playing games. She has every right to decide to do something else today since she didn't hear from him. And it's not making up some story or something untrue. She should make plans for today, even if it only involves her, and she doesn't even need to leave the house to have plans.
Author miss_28 Posted October 24, 2011 Author Posted October 24, 2011 thanks for the replies... here's an update. He texted me that he was going to pick me up at such and such a time... lol, in his mind, everything was already confirmed when he made plans with me Friday - so I jumped the gun in thinking he was playing me :S (I assumed because of past experiences/guys I've dated). He was nervous to call me on Sat after all. Anyways, we went on a second date, and it was absolutely great . He's even set up a third date ... anyways, just a note to say, yes, dating is scary as hell, but sometimes worth the risk, and while you should proceed with caution, don't become a stone wall because of past experience.
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