thebig-guy Posted October 23, 2011 Posted October 23, 2011 Lets say your ex has dumped you, they seem to be managing with NC so well. Lets assume they are seeing someone else to take their mind off you, should we be offended? This is my situation. She was such an emotionally unstable girl, yet she is the worlds best person at NC. I seem to have been crippling once a week and calling her... grrr. I dont understand?? She was crying LOADS prior to the breakup so im assuming she must have been dealing with it before it actually happened! Then i get the "I dont feel the same way anymore" line and it sends me off the wall. Now im coming up to a weeks no contact, its definitely helping because im no longer upset 24/7, just a little down. I really think that this new guy is working well as her tool to get over me (which she said thats all he was). The stupid thing is she comes home in 1 week after working 8 months out there so its going to be REALLY hard for her to have anything serious with him. Im really interested to see what she does when she gets back even though i know im an idiot for wanting to know in the first place... Can anyone relate to the thoughts im having?
Lucy2011 Posted October 23, 2011 Posted October 23, 2011 Yeah, I feel the same. He dumped me and I've gone NC ever since. I am offended/hurt he hasn't bothered to contact me. There's no one else involved. I can see he's online on MSN and yet he still doesn't bother to send me a message which hacks me off. NC is all very well, but he could at least make the effort to contact me so I can ignore him ....does that make sense?!
mike588 Posted October 23, 2011 Posted October 23, 2011 Lets say your ex has dumped you, they seem to be managing with NC so well. Lets assume they are seeing someone else to take their mind off you, should we be offended? This is my situation. She was such an emotionally unstable girl, yet she is the worlds best person at NC. I seem to have been crippling once a week and calling her... grrr. I dont understand?? She was crying LOADS prior to the breakup so im assuming she must have been dealing with it before it actually happened! Then i get the "I dont feel the same way anymore" line and it sends me off the wall. Now im coming up to a weeks no contact, its definitely helping because im no longer upset 24/7, just a little down. I really think that this new guy is working well as her tool to get over me (which she said thats all he was). The stupid thing is she comes home in 1 week after working 8 months out there so its going to be REALLY hard for her to have anything serious with him. Im really interested to see what she does when she gets back even though i know im an idiot for wanting to know in the first place... Can anyone relate to the thoughts im having? If their are seeing someone right after a breakup then it's most likely a rebound and they usually don't last long.
MIK1000 Posted October 23, 2011 Posted October 23, 2011 Lets say your ex has dumped you, they seem to be managing with NC so well. Lets assume they are seeing someone else to take their mind off you, should we be offended? This is my situation. She was such an emotionally unstable girl, yet she is the worlds best person at NC. I seem to have been crippling once a week and calling her... grrr. I dont understand?? She was crying LOADS prior to the breakup so im assuming she must have been dealing with it before it actually happened! Then i get the "I dont feel the same way anymore" line and it sends me off the wall. Now im coming up to a weeks no contact, its definitely helping because im no longer upset 24/7, just a little down. I really think that this new guy is working well as her tool to get over me (which she said thats all he was). The stupid thing is she comes home in 1 week after working 8 months out there so its going to be REALLY hard for her to have anything serious with him. Im really interested to see what she does when she gets back even though i know im an idiot for wanting to know in the first place... Can anyone relate to the thoughts im having? Yes I find it kind of offensive but it's probably for the best to be honest. I've shared my story with you before because mine is similar to yours. Your situation could be about to change because she's returning home for a week. When she gets home she's likely to be depressed and having holiday blues. She may contact you because of this, or because she's been brought back down to reality and realises how much she misses you. This may not happen however so don't do what I do and wait about for it. I waited for my ex to get back from the kids camp she was at for 3 months and thought there was a good a possibility she would get hit by reality once back and realise how much she misses me. It's not panned out quite that way you, all I got from her was a drunken text at 2 in the morning asking how I was, about six days after she got back (a month ago now). I took that as a sign she was missing me but then later on found out that her new guy from the camp who lives about 5 hours away has been up visiting her every other weekend so obviously they're still giving that relationship ago. Had she not contacted me, I wouldnt have been thinking she was missing me, then been shocked and gutted when I found out the new guy was up visiting. If she comes back and contacts you, don't get carried away with yourself and think it means she wants you back. That's what I did and it hurt like a bitch when I saw she was stilling seeing this guy. Take it as a breadcrumb and either return the message, being civil and uninterested or don't reply at all.
joseph17 Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 Her seeing another guy just to get over you is not okay and offensive. If the shoe was on the other foot she wouldn't like it so much. I would stay with the NC and even if she does come in town and tries to see you don't respond. She is expecting you to see her and everything be okay and you have to realize it is not. If she doesn't contact you then all the better. She is not facing her problems and trying to just move on to the next guy. This is a sign of insecurity and her running. You don't need that.
TheDovic Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 I think it's ok to be offended BigGuy. After all the dumper for many of us was the most important person in out lives, so to go from seeing each other everyday to cutting us out completely is harsh! If you weren't offended by this happening you probably didn't love your ex very much!
MIK1000 Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 I think it's ok to be offended BigGuy. After all the dumper for many of us was the most important person in out lives, so to go from seeing each other everyday to cutting us out completely is harsh! If you weren't offended by this happening you probably didn't love your ex very much! It's also good to consider that she will probably be shocked if you successfully execute NC for months and it will get to her a bit. She's not contacting you because you've caved and contacted her so much but once you stop doing that she will be surprised and shocked. I reckon my ex must find it strange that I've totally removed myself from her life and made no effort to see or contact her since she got back from the states. She's done things like removing certain recent Facebook photos (and not other ones). I think this might be an attempt to get me to notice and get a reaction from me because the NC is pissing her off.
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