bml929 Posted October 23, 2011 Posted October 23, 2011 Do you guys usually say "I love you" during the first 6 months of relationship? If so, who are the first to say it? the boyfriend or girlfriend? And tell us how and what happened the day you said it
Feelin Frisky Posted October 23, 2011 Posted October 23, 2011 There is no "usually" for me. I say it when I feel it and I feel it won't meet with resistance or bewilderment. But, all added up, I have only said it early in relationships maybe 3 times (including now;)).
carhill Posted October 23, 2011 Posted October 23, 2011 Reviewing, I've said ILY to five women who weren't platonic friends or family. Generally, that occurred after between one month and two months of consistent intimacy and generally prior to having sexual relations. I always said ILY first. I don't recall any fireworks displays going off, rather it just seemed to be part of the flow of the progression of intimacy. The first time was probably more tension filled than any subsequent, but that's normal, kinda like losing one's virginity. It's the 'unknown'.
cahbella Posted October 23, 2011 Posted October 23, 2011 I mean, there isn't really any set time limit for saying it, say it when you feel it It's much more special hearing it for the first time when you know you're both head over heels for each other.
CarrieT Posted October 23, 2011 Posted October 23, 2011 I once lived with a guy for 2 1/2 years, waiting for ILY. It finally happened on the day I was parting from him... "You know I always loved you," he said as I boarded the plane. Kinda late, buddy!
somedude81 Posted October 23, 2011 Posted October 23, 2011 I once lived with a guy for 2 1/2 years, waiting for ILY. It finally happened on the day I was parting from him... "You know I always loved you," he said as I boarded the plane. Kinda late, buddy! And how many times did you say it to him?
missed_theboat Posted October 23, 2011 Posted October 23, 2011 My ex (whom I am still in love with) said "I love you" first in our relationship, and he said it within a month, if not earlier. I remember him prefacing by saying "I think I could fall in love with you" and other such phrases before actually uttering the three words, but he definitely fell head over heels and said it first. I followed shortly after, on my own. I have said "I love you" in that way to three people, so it's not something I just spout out in any old relationship.
zengirl Posted October 23, 2011 Posted October 23, 2011 I have actually never said it first. I don't have a rule against it, but I'm kind of not sentimental at ALL and it's not something my family and I even say much. I used to be kind of adverse to going around saying ILY all the time, before I taught kindergarten abroad, and that really got me used to hugs and ILY and sentimentality, which carried on even into my social dynamics with adults. My current BF is a really schmoopy guy (he's the one who saves ticket stubs and takes pictures of us and makes up pet names; it's not that he's more affectionate or loving than I am, but he expresses it in a more sentimental way; I'll express my love by actually doing "useful" or practical things for him or supporting him in his endeavors or surprising him with gifts or whatnot, but he's the more sentimental, cutesy type; it's a gender reversal), so he said it WAY sooner than I ever would've, though I loved him too. It was within the first 3 months, which seems a good time frame to me, but it all depends on the relationship. I think if it were up to me to say it, it'd probably take at least 6 months, because I can be a little uncomfortable discussing my emotions. Probably why I've never said it first.
Pierre Posted October 23, 2011 Posted October 23, 2011 If I feel like saying ILY I say it. I don't expect to hear ILY back. There is no preconceived plan or expectation. In any event LOVE is a change in brain chemistry and this can be a mild or intense with excessive obsession components and addiction qualities. LOVE also comes in three distinct forms: 1. Infatuation. 2. Romantic attachment with obsession. 3. Long term calm attachment with no obsession. There can be a progression from 1 to 3, but not always. Selfish insecure people cannot love because they view love as external validation. True love is to love and expect NOTHING in return. “And, in the end The love you take is equal to the love you make.” ― Paul McCartney It is also important to verbalize ILY all the time. It is a nice gesture. And in the end: Love is a verb; love is not a sensation.
make me believe Posted October 23, 2011 Posted October 23, 2011 I've said it first to both of the guys I've exchanged ILYs with. Both times I knew they wanted to say it but were being wimps so I just bit the bullet and said it first!!
EasyHeart Posted October 23, 2011 Posted October 23, 2011 When I was younger I fell in "love" every few weeks and never hesitated to tell women about it in exquisite detail. Now that I'm old, I always find it kind of cheesy to say "I love you", so even if I feel it, I tend not to say it. Usually it just slips out. In my current relationship, we were having fun cooking dinner one night and I said something like "I love having you around." Her: "Love"? Me: Huh? Her: You said "love". You said you "love having me around". Me: Umm, yeah. I guess I did. Her: So you love me? Me: Yeah, of course I do. Her: Well, you could say so sometime, dumbass. Me: (Taking her in my arms and kissing her) I love you very much. Her: (smirking) Good to know. Me: Ummm, okay. But you're supposed to say you love me, too. Her: (shrugging and pulling away) We'll see. Me: HEY!!! Then I chased her around my house and we did some pretty unsanitary things in the kitchen.
EasyHeart Posted October 23, 2011 Posted October 23, 2011 I'll express my love by actually doing "useful" or practical things for him or supporting him in his endeavors or surprising him with gifts or whatnot, but he's the more sentimental, cutesy type; it's a gender reversalSheesh, maybe you should change your screen name to "zenboy" . . .
Alexz Posted October 23, 2011 Posted October 23, 2011 If I feel like saying ILY I say it. I don't expect to hear ILY back. There is no preconceived plan or expectation. In any event LOVE is a change in brain chemistry and this can be a mild or intense with excessive obsession components and addiction qualities. LOVE also comes in three distinct forms: 1. Infatuation. 2. Romantic attachment with obsession. 3. Long term calm attachment with no obsession. There can be a progression from 1 to 3, but not always. Selfish insecure people cannot love because they view love as external validation. True love is to love and expect NOTHING in return. “And, in the end The love you take is equal to the love you make.” ― Paul McCartney It is also important to verbalize ILY all the time. It is a nice gesture. And in the end: Love is a verb; love is not a sensation. Great post.
FrustratedStandards Posted October 23, 2011 Posted October 23, 2011 I honestly don't remember those details. But i've only loved two men in my life. The first I told him I loved him after about 6-8 months, but he said it first about 2 months in. The second was faster. I don't remember who said it first (these moments aren't really memorable for me) but we started saying that just before the 2 month mark (which is really soon but thats how we felt, and even though we have been broken up for almost 2 years, I love him still).
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