Author azgirl Posted May 19, 2004 Author Posted May 19, 2004 Distance is hard on a relationship. Especially on someone who is used to getting her way all the time! Maybe she just couldn't handle that.
burton928 Posted May 19, 2004 Posted May 19, 2004 ive been thinking i really wish i would have found a job in cleveland in spril cause this would have never ever happened.
Author azgirl Posted May 19, 2004 Author Posted May 19, 2004 well, I have been thinking that my bf wouldn't be considering breaking up with me right now if we had never moved that god damned roommate in with us, BUT you can't dwell on ifs because they won't change a damn thing, you know?
burton928 Posted May 19, 2004 Posted May 19, 2004 yea i know what you mean. but i need to figure out someway to get her back in my life again. cause i really feel like s*** right now.
Author azgirl Posted May 19, 2004 Author Posted May 19, 2004 Do what you gotta do, but make sure that it is really going to get you what you want. I'd hate to see you do something drastic and have her still be crapping on ya. Then you'd be even more miserable! Good Luck!
burton928 Posted May 19, 2004 Posted May 19, 2004 thanks. the only problem is i dont know what to really to say to her. or if i should call her or just wait for her to get online tonight or what. im so confused still. i wish this never happened. my whole life ive been **** on and im getting it again.
Author azgirl Posted May 19, 2004 Author Posted May 19, 2004 Ohh! I am sorry! Try not to feel too depressed! Try to talk to her - online tonight. Am getting out of here soon. Good Luck and let me know how it goes. I'll be in in the morning!
burton928 Posted May 20, 2004 Posted May 20, 2004 well i tried to talk to her last night. first i tried to talk to her online and she imed me back saying she was leaving then signed off. so then i tried talking to her friend just to she if she had talked to my girlfriend and to see if she knew how my girlfriend was doing. she wouldnt talk to me wither so i figured my girlfriend was over there. so then i called her house and nobody answered so i left a message and she never called me back and i doubt she even will. i dont know what the hell i did to deserve this but i would like to take it back. i mean if anyone should be mad shouldnt it be me and not her. it seems like she is more pissed off than i am about the whole thing and she is just taking it out on me. and i really think that she is probably out trying to meet other guys even though shes telling me she doesnt want to but i dont really know because she wont talk to me. the only thing that cares to hear about is about my situation about my throat. i wanted to tlak to her about that last night because i started to think about how my two biggest fears have come true. losing her and getting throat cancer. im starting to get pissed off at her and im going to tray and just not going to have any contact with her unless she talks to me first. i just wish she wouldnt ast like this and start to think about what shes doing to me. i hate this damn situation im in.
burton928 Posted May 20, 2004 Posted May 20, 2004 this is an email i just wrote to my ex. tell me if you think it will change anything or what you think about it. baby, i just wanted to write you an email to tell im sorry for what ive done to you. and i hope you can forgive me for being an a**h***. i know i have problems in my own life and im trying to fix them for you. i just wish that you could find it in your heart to give me another chance at us and ill make it right. i know you love me and i love you too and i think together we can fix everything. i just would like another chance to fix it and start all over again. i dont want to be with anyone else but you. i swear to god that is the truth. i know things have changed in the past couple months, but give me another chance to fix what ive done wrong to you. i know you say im controlling and i dont even realize when i do it. but dont punish me like this for that, please. im begging you and i have nothing else to lose in my life, to have another chance for us to be us again. i know we can go back to the couple we were before. you just have to give it another chance. i want to be there for you with everything you maybe going through. but please forgive me and give us another chance please if not now then like in a month or sdomething like that please. ive said all ive needed to say and this is the last time. i love you so much and im willing to do whatever it takes to get you back into my life because you make that much better. you brighten my life so much courtney. please dont listen to what your friends and listen to what your heart says. i know you still love me and you have to miss me a little bit. please dont let this be the end of us because i still believe everything youve said to me about wanting to be with me foreveer and anting to marry me. because i still want to marry you. and dont you remember the time i asked you if you would marry me and i said i was serious. i meant it i was going to get a ring as soon as i could get the money. i mean every word ive ever said abot being with you. you are my world and i want to have you back in it. just please write me back because i dont know what i did wrong not to be talked to. i love you so much courtney and i miss you so much. i love you and i miss you love always forever travis
Author azgirl Posted May 21, 2004 Author Posted May 21, 2004 Sorry. Wasn't at work yesterday or today. I am at the library right now and don't have much time. I think the letter is good. Hopefully, that will help. I will try to get down here tomorrow. I am super sick right now. Things have been going better with my guy and I. I just hope it continues. Good luck. I'll chat more tomorrow!
burton928 Posted May 24, 2004 Posted May 24, 2004 well i never got a reply from her about the email or anything and still wont talk to me at all. so from this point on im not talking to her anymore. if she calls me at all i mean i will talk to her because i still love her and all but i beginning to think that why do i deserve to be treated like this. i never did anything to her at all to be treated like ****. i mean i still hope maybe she will realize what she did and come back but if she doesnt i mean oh well it wasnt meant to be. so i dont know what to do right now other than just leave her alone and not talk to her at all and go on with my life for right now. ive had a couple girls want to go do something and i think im going to go out with a few of them just to get out and do something. since all my friends arent around anymore. well hope things are still going ok with your boyfriend and you. hope you figure everything out and maybe if you do you can help me out and tell me what i can do or say to her to really change her mind about everything. also on another note my throat cancer is slowly going into remission (i guess you would say) with the medication ive been taking. they say it woont cure it but it will prevent it hopefully from getting any worse. just htought you would maybe like to know that.
moimeme Posted May 24, 2004 Posted May 24, 2004 burton - I'm just going to pop in a note for azgirl though I do wish you full remission and better luck with your girl azgirl, not sure how things are working for you now, but you've illustrated some of the problems that can occur when you take up with a younger person. He has not had the same experiences as you and so you are acting almost like a 'parent' in trying to explain to him how life and love work. I was particularly struck by you mentioning telling him what 'adult' relationships are like. This sort of thing is exactly what could cause you problems, unfortunately - people need to learn stuff on their own. He can listen to you, but until he's gone through some things by himself, he may not really be convinced that you've got a handle on how life works. I hope it goes better for you, but you might want to cut back a tiny bit on the 'parenting'-type discussions. He'll definitely not consider you an equal partner if this keeps up.
Author azgirl Posted May 25, 2004 Author Posted May 25, 2004 moimeme - Things were getting better, until yesterday and now they are back to being REALLY s**ty. He WAS hanging out with me and enjoying our time together. I wasn't hammering him on any issues or pressuring him in any way. He even told his mom (who has been talking badly about me to him) that he was going to go home to Michigan with me to meet my family - a trip that has been planned for months, that I paid for. Then yesterday, I was sick and stayed home from work. When I got back from the doctor's he started on me again. Telling me that he doesn't love me anymore. I asked him if he ever did love me (he certainly told me) and he replied, "I don't know what love is." Whatever the heck that means. Then he tells me that I have a month to find my own place, that he just wants to be "by himself" etc. Last night, he wouldn't even speak to me. But ... I did find out that he learned of a bunch of problems his family is having. Mom is turning into an "alcoholic," his grandfather is terminally ill, and his dad has to go to prison for tax evasion. I think he is just dealing with so many issues that he is shutting down. He is trying to isolate himself. But I alternate between being angry with him, wanting him back, and just wanting away from him and his nonsense. I am tired of the back and forth crap. He is wearing me down. I have been sick for almost a week now. I can't eat. This sucks. Burton - glad to hear about the cancer! Sounds like you are ready to move on. Unfortunately, I may have to do the same, but I don't know if I am ready yet.
burton928 Posted May 25, 2004 Posted May 25, 2004 well i dont really want to move on quite honestly cause i want my ex back because i still love her but i cant sit around and wait for her because i know she probably isnt worried about me. so i mean im leaving her alone and if she comes back to she comes back and illt ake her back. but im still hoping everything turns out good between us. i hope everything goes ok withy ou and your boyfriend and thanks for caring about me having cancer cause theres only few people right now who care that i have it.
Author azgirl Posted May 25, 2004 Author Posted May 25, 2004 Things are going pretty s*** for me and my guy right now. Basically, we are just "roommates" for now until I find my own place. Things were getting better. He even told his mom that he would be coming home with me. But, Sunday he found out about a bunch of s*** going on with his family and now he started this crap with me again yesterday. I think it's time for me to get off this roller coaster ride he has me on. Frankly, I'm tired of it. I wish things would change, but I know they are not going to. And if we did get back together would I ever trust that he wouldn't do this to me again?? Probably not. And, you're welcome! Of course I care about the cancer thing and am glad to hear you're getting better.
burton928 Posted May 25, 2004 Posted May 25, 2004 well things will hopefully get bettter for both of us huh. hopefully well both find someone that is better than what we had before. thats about all we can hope for you know. or maybe you know he will grow up and realize what he is doing and change and maybe my ex will do the same. all you can do is hope. i hope you feel better and stop being sick.
Author azgirl Posted May 25, 2004 Author Posted May 25, 2004 Thanks, Burton. I'm having an up and down day. It sucks.
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