Fighting for the love of my life

[azgirl]

Some of your stories sound familiar. maybe someone can help me. Here is mine. In August of last year I met the most wonderful guy I have ever met in my life. I was just coming out of a really, really nasty relationship and along comes this amazingly handsome, romantic, sweet man. He is 22 and I am 27 but that didn't bother me because I tend to go for younger men. We had so much in common and just connected on a level I have never experienced. He did romantic things for me that no one had ever done before. Basically, he is everything that I ever hoped to find in a man and gave up entirely on finding. We started seeing each other and everything was perfect. Sure we had some fights, but who doesn't?? Right??

 

That never really mattered to me. I have been in relationships before, and I understand that people fight. He, on the other hand, has never had a relationship last longer than 5 months. Nonetheless, we feel in love. I was and still am absolutely crazy about him. He brings me such joy and a peace in my soul that I have never felt before. Fully realizing how young and inexperienced he is I just figured I would have to be patient with him, but I truly did see myself marrying him. It's what I have wanted for some time now.

 

In January, we had a little issue where he told me he wanted to break up, pretty much out of the blue (we had one fight earlier that week, but had gotten past it) and I suggested just a little break for him to clear his head. Within three days we were spending time together and everything was fine. When his mother came to town in February, I met her and his step-dad and some other family members, as well. The week after she went home, he asked me to move in with him. Of course, I agreed. I had been hoping that we would get to that point, but knew it was not for me to suggest. The first month that we lived together was nothing short of perfect. He works two jobs, but what time we did have together was great! Although, the night before we moved in together, I discussed the near break up ordeal from January and told him that I was afraid he would pull that again on me and it would be a nightmare because we live together. He promised me that it would not happen and that he was going to take a more serious approach to our relationship.

 

Well, month one came to an end and he had a friend from work who needed a place to stay because he had been kicked out of his place by his girlfriend. We have a two bedroom apartment, so reluctantly agreed. Since he was coming home to meet my family with me in June, we thought it might be a way to save money for our trip. Afterall it was only going to be for a month or so. Well, this guy changed everything! Wouldn't leave us alone. Went out with us, hung out at the apartment with us. We rarely got time together and it drove me nuts!! Not to mention the other rude and inconsiderate things he did. So we started fighting. Then at the beginng of this month, he graduated culinary school and his mother, his real father, his uncle, his sister, his sister's friend, and three of his buddies from home (Oklahoma) all came out for his graduation. We put all three of the boys up, and the rest stayed at a hotel. It was a long stressful weekend, complete with the tag-along roommate and one night, while everyone was there we got into a little fight - about the roommate. We bounced back as always and the family and the roommate all left at once and we had our place back.

 

Monday of last week, I could sense that he was tired and stressed so I told him to call me when he was leaving work because I had a surprise for him. I poured him a drink, ran him a nice hot bubble bath with candles in the bathroom and throughout the house and when he walked in the door, I stripped him down and took him to the bath and sponged him off and we sat and talked. Then when he got out, I gave him a back rub. It was a very nice night and we talked about our trip to Michigan. Well, we ended up having a couple of fights later in the week, but as usual, I thought we were fine. By Friday night we were back to our normal selves. Watched some movies togther, talked, had a couple of beers and then went to bed and had amazing, hot sex. Everything was fine! He got up on Saturday morning and invited me to catch a movie with him when he got off work. Later he called me and asked me to get some clothes together for him so that when he got off work he could change there and we could meet for the movie. He came home between jobs and as his normal, happy affectionate self and told me that he would be getting out later than he thought and suggested drinks instead of a movie. I got ready later that night and waited. Well, he never called me for drinks and I fell asleep at like 11:00. I woke up about an hour later and found him in bed already. So I asked what was going on. He said "I have some things on my mind." So, I said, "What's wrong, sweetie. Tell me what you are thinking about." He said, "You're not going to like this." And proceeded to tell me that he didn't want to do this anymore. He wanted to break up and get his own place. I was stunned. Too shocked to even cry. I couldn't believe what he was saying because it didn't make sense! He had been withdrawn, or less affectionate toward me. Nothing in his behavior had changed!!!! Then he tells me that he talked to his mom that night and that she had said some things about me. Apparently, she thinks I have "baggage" - perhaps she is confused. I have never been married and I have no children. That's what I call baggage. He then tells me that he is not coming home with me because he needs to go to Oklahoma and be with HIS family and HIS friends. That's when I started to realize that mom had gotten involved.

 

When they were here, she got kind of snotty about him going home to MI with me instead of taking time off to go see her. I'm sorry, but she has been out here twice in the past 3 months and I have met all of his family so I kind of thought it was his turn. Well, I told him that and I know I hit the nail on the head because he was silent. That's what he does when I am right. He says nothing. I got him to agree to give it a couple of weeks to see if we can get into a routine that we are comfortable with. The dust is just settling from having all those people here. Plus, I just got a better paying job and was going to help him financially so that he could cut down on his hours and get some more time to himself. I also told him that I new that he had a rough week with a lot of stress that didn't have anything to do with me and that that wasn't the right frame of mind to make this kind of decision in.

 

Last night we talked - I stayed away for a couple of nights - and he told me that he really didn't feel that he was going to change his mind. I told him that he agreed to a couple of weeks to figure it out, and that he needed to keep an open mind. I told him that he made an adult decision to move me in with him and that two months wasn't even really giving it a chance. I also told him that since he made that decision, he needed to be an adult and actually try to work things out before bailing like this. I told him that it was not fair to me either because both of us needed help financially and we made a commitment to each other in that respect when we moved in together. So the conversation ended with us agreeing not to even talk about it and give each other space and we would re-assess the situation. We even agreed that even if we do break up that we should still give it a shot to stay together and not live together. Maybe this was a level of commitment he was not ready for. He tells me he doesn't want me out of his life and that he doesn't want to date other women. (Even his friend's vouch for him not being a player - I trust him completely on that part) So if it is not other women, then I can respect his space and try to give him time.

 

So what do you guys think?? I am stupid for fighting for him?? Is he just young and getting pressure from mom at the same time? Should I admit defeat and just walk away?? I definitely need any advice you guys are willing to give. I honestly feel that he is my soul-mate and I am not ready to give up and try and go out there and meet jerk after jerk after jerk and settle for something that doesn't even begin to compare to how I feel when I am with him.

Help.

[burton928]

azgirl,

im having the same kind of problem that you are. my girlfriend is being influenced by other causing her to break up with me. im 19 and shes 18 but she has to grow up a little bit. and in this problem that hwe have she just decided to up and run away from it instead of working it out. thats how she is with everything. i mean i dont know what to tell you to do because im just waiting for my girlfriend to realize what she did and hopefully come back to me. but my girlfriend said she needed time to straighten out her life so that made me even more confused. but im still hoping she comes bac because im madly in love with her. like i said i dont know what to tell you right now but maybe we could possibly help out each other in this if you like.

[poohbear]

I feel your pain in so many ways......My boyfriend just broke up with me about three weeks ago and before that his parents came down to talk to him...we both go to the same college..I am 21 and he is 19...but anyways his parents came to talk to him and show concern about our relationship....they felt it was moving too fast because we talked about marriage and we spent alot of time together...well after that is when he broke up with me for the first time...a day later he decided he didn't want to break up just be on a break...we had fun with eachother and had the best two weeks....I was getting ready to leave for summer break which lasted three weeks and he kissed and hugged me and told me everything was ok and we would be better than ever when we came back.....I got a phone call two days later saying he wanted to break up because he was hurting from all the fights we had before and that he don't think he will ever feel the same...and does not think we will get back together....that was the last time I talked to him...I am giving him space and we go back to college in a week.....we have classes together and stay in the same building and we also work at the same place.....so I have no Idea what will happen.. all I know is that I love him very much...with all my heart and i would love to be with him....but if he doesn't feel the same then I don't deserve to be with someone who doesn't feel the same....I would give him his space...and like they always say if its meant to be it will be and if it doesn't work out then there is someone else u are meant to be with...

[kat217]

hello there, azgirl

 

first of all, I honestly think that the age is just a number! (BTW, i'm just a bit older than you and also seem to date much younger guys that I am!). I've dated guys that are +/- 10 years than me in the past, and for me, the oldest guy i've dated in the past actually happened be the most incredibly immature guy on the entire planet!

 

IMO, when it comes to the age based on the "life/emotional experience", i find that that makes a HUGE difference in maintaining a happy, healthy & "adult" relationshop (which I assume you are ready to have at this point in your life), and I do also think that 2 people MUST want the same things out of a relationship for it to work.

 

I don't mean to generalize everyone, but i think people make decisions often based on what they know/learned based on what had happened to them previously and what they learned out of those situations.

 

I'm not sure if this is your BF's first "adult" relationship, but if it is, he may not be 'equipped' enough to deal with the situation on his own. if he is "adult" enough emotionally/life experience wise (= where your are!)to know what *he* (NOT his family) wants, how lucky he is to have a loving relationship, I'd venture to say he would stay regardless of what others have to say (i am not saying that friends/family's opinions don't matter..).

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that whatever the situation your BF is in (i.e., confused, letting his family involved in the situation, etc.), it seems that he's made the decision based on what *he* thinks is the best based on his 'experience-level' at this point in his life (=for now).

 

I do think that people's feelings, likes & dislikes, want & don't-want change so much over the years based on their life experiences, so who knows what your BF might decide tomorrow, next week, month etc...but whatever it is that your BF is feeling right now, i think you should just have to accept/respect his decision for now by giving him the time/space he needs. One of the things i learend thru my past relationships is that "you can't make/change how someone feel -- people feel what they feel whether you like it or not".

 

some of the members here might kick me in the head for telling you this , but I'm all for "do what you feel" (i.e, 'fight for him') -- but be prepared to deal with the consequences (yup, the one you don't wish for...) you can "fight for him" and if all goes well he might decide to be with you agian...but do you think that you will feel 'secure' in the relationship?.....just my 2 cents.

 

good luck -- keep us posted!

[azgirl]

Thanks for the replies! It helps to have people out there to discuss it with that don't know either of us. When I talk to my friends some of them get pretty angry at him and say nasty things about him because they care about me and he is hurting me. They tell me that I always do so much for him and that he doesn't ever do anything for me, but pull this type of crap. Which isn't true. He is very loving and affectionate most of the time. I think sometimes he just gets wrapped up in his own personal problems and issues and wants to retreat to his own little world. Last week, before the break up conversation came along, he told me that he didn't care about himself right now and that he felt like he wasn't going anywhere in his life. (Same kind of feelings he had when he did this to me the last time.) And the night that this all started he told me that whenever something is wrong with him I always assume it's me and it never is. So when I told him to take some time and that we should just give each other some space for a while, I reminded him of what he said and reminded him of how down on himself he had been all week. I told him that given how he had been feeling that he wasn't in the right frame of mind to make this kind of decision. He works about 75 hours a week, and doesn't have much time to himself and that has always been important to him, but we came up with a plan to see if we could get him some more time to himself and hopefully he will allow us to try it out.

 

Monday night he stated that he "wasn't going to change his mind" when I talked to him, but last night was a different story. I went into the other room to sleep before he got home. I woke up at 3 o'clock in the morning and went to go get a glass of water and he was still up playing video games. (another thorn in my side) But I didn't say anything to him and he stopped me and asked me how my day was. I told him the truth - it was crappy. So I sat down and talked with him for a little bit. I told him I was having a hard time, etc. He said he was sorry and that it would get better. He then said he is going to stop playing his video game for a while. (A good sign by the way, because we have had issues about the game before and he has realized in the past that he needs to stop playing so much. The last time he did this is was so that he could concentrate on other, healthier hobbies and to spend more time with me.) Then he got up to go to bed and said "Come to bed, babydoll." And I said, "With you?" And he said, "Yes." So we went to bed and he snuggled up to me. I told him some other things that were bothering me (not to do with our problem) and then I cried a little bit and told him that I didn't want to lose him. He said, "I'll still be here." And I said, "Will you try and work this out with me." He said, "Yes. I'll try." So ... I don't know. What do you guys think? Does it sound like he is coming around? Maybe he just needs to continue to get some space and go out and do some things by himself that he enjoys. Also, I know for a fact that he hasn't talked to his mother since Sunday. I'm sure that is helping the situation, too. I don't want to get my hopes up, but it looks like things might be getting better. I'll keep you posted.

[burton928]

i wish my girlfriend would work out her problems with me instead of leaving me and breaking my heart. ive told tons of times i am willing to help and even go to her counselor with her and talk and figure things out. but anytime i try to talk to her about it she says she doesnt want to talk and her counselor says its not good for her to talk to me. azgirl since youve kind of figured some stuff out what can i do?

[azgirl]

Burton928 -

Well, as hard as it is, the first thing that you have to do is to try to get her to communicate with you what exactly is going on. With my boyfriend, I sometimes have to listen carefully to what he says and then remind him of things because he is obviously very confused right now. Like when he said that I always assume that it is me when something is wrong with him and it never is. You know? Both times that he has done this I have asked him some questions 1- Do you still care about me? 2 - Do you still enjoy being with me and spending time with me? 3 - Haven't you told me many times before that you want to be with me for a long, long time? and other questions I ask him just pertain to things that he has said recently that completely go against what he is saying that he feels right now. He answers yes and I say then let's try to work this out. This time I asked him if he wanted me completely out of his life and he said "No." So, I think that when she tells you she has a lot going on and needs to straighten her life out maybe you can remind her that when things get tough it is not always best to be alone and that you will be there to help her and support her. Also, it is good to ask those kind of questions because if you get a No answer to questions like do you care about me still or do you still enjoy being with me, then you will know that there is no point in fighting for her. You don't want to be with someone who doesn't care about you or have feelings for you anymore. If you get yes answers though, it helps remind her of how she feels about you and maybe makes her realize that she can work this out.

 

Secondly, you have to give her space but at the same time have some light contact. Like maybe some phone calls or see if you can get some together time even if it is brief - and try to keep it brief.

Basically, as long as she doesn't tell you that she wants you out of your life, then try to work back to things slowly. And just pay attention to her reactions and how she receives you when you do see her. With mine, last night he didn't seem as closed off to me and he even said (for the first time since this started) that he was willing to try. Just try to break the wall down slowly. My guy tells me to pay attention to his actions and not his words. So in situations like this when his actions don't match up with his words then I pay attention to his actions - like last night when he told me to come to bed with him and called me by his favorite nickname for me. That's the kind of behavior that doesn't match up to what he says. Would you agree? So just be there, but give space and without hammering the issue try to get her to tell you she still cares and wants you in her life. That's the best advice I can offer, I guess.

[burton928]

well the hardest thing about this too is that we are 3 hours apart because im in pittsburgh and shes in ohio. ive reminded her several times about her saying she wants to be with me forever and wants to marry me and everything and she kind of just says nothing to me. even when i ask her questions if she still cares or loves me she says she does. i asked her the other night if she still loved and missed me and she said yes. but then when i ask why she is doing this she doesnt want to talk about it.

 

she is going to a counselor and apparently the counselor has told her that it isnt good for her to be talking to me at all. i think she does care still because i was just recently diagnosed with throat cancer and i wrote her an email saying about it. and she wrote back saying she cares but it wont change how she feels about everything. and she doesnt want to talk to me either unless its something about my throat.

 

and about her being with me too when im home on the weekends we would spend all the time together and we were perfect its just when i am out in pittsburgh she changes the way she treats me. she never wanted to talk to me and that made me mad so when i would go home i would all this pent up frustration toward about that and we would fight once in a while then everything would go back to being perfect. and two days before she broke up with me she was crying when i left saying that it is unfair i have to leave all the time and asked me if i would still marry her and she told me she would never leave me and i believed. i made a promise to her never to leave and theres been times when i should have left her but i never did because i knew we could try and work it out but she never wants to do that. she always runs away from things. so i dont know if you can figure something else out from this or what. i just want to be able to definetly think that there is a chance for us..

[azgirl]

First of all - I am sorry to hear about your throat cancer! That's terrible. You're awfully young for that aren't you? Are you a smoker? I wish you a speedy recovery and my thoughts and prayers are with you.

 

Next - the girl. What exactly is she going to counseling for, anyway? And I don't think I am clear on why her couselor would tell her not to talk to you at all. That sounds odd to me. Sounds to me like you have done nothing but try to be supportive of her and work through this with her. Unless she isn't telling her counselor everything or isn't telling you everything. Is she still living with her parents or is she out on her own??

 

Um - it sounds like you have tried all the things I did and tried to suggest. Now you may have to just step back and leave her alone for a little bit. As long as she isn't interested in someone else, and as long as her main focus is getting her head cleared up or her issues or whatever, then hang on to hope. Maybe she is getting this stuff straightened out so that she can have a successul relationship with you. Because it sounds to me like it won't happen unless she does get this help that she needs. And as long as she still tells you she loves you and you love her, then there is hope. As long as there is love, there is hope.

 

Hang in there! I know it is hard. It is hard for me, too. I have to wonder each night - should I go home? Is he going to talk to me? What am I going to do if I can't save this? Etc. But I feel that last night was a step in the right direction. So ... just hang in there. If she gets her issues worked out, she'll be even better for you. Right?

[burton928]

well my throat is because i chewed for 2 years then i quit about 1 and a half years ago. with all this stuff thats been going on my throat has begun to bleed. and i woke up the one day witha mouthful of blood. im taking medication to slow it down or it may possibly stop it from spreading.

 

she is going to counselling for her anger and mood swings. like anything i try to tell her about my feelings or anything she gets very mad easily and bitches me out about them. even with her parents anything they ask her to do she gets pissed off about. and yes she still does live with her parents.

 

and honestly think that she isnt telling everything to the counselor and shes blaming everything else on everyone but herself. she never takes responsibility for her actions until its too late. for instance the last weekend we spent together she wanted sun chips. and i asked her if she had money for them and she said no. well i had like 10 bucks but i needed to use that to get back to pittsburgh so i told her no. i would make her popcorn or something. so she got pissed off me and started acting like a little baby and made the comment i never buy her anything anymore. which well is bull****. i take her out to eat every weekend, buy her clothes, and ive bought her flowers. so that pissed me and of course it was my fault i got pissed off too. so we went to get her her sun chips and when we got back to my house she finally told me she was sorry and gave me a hug and a kiss.

 

and she tells me she doesnt want a relationship right now because i think its becasue her friends are single and she wants to be too. but then with everything shes said to me i dont understand why she would want to get rid of me. i mean i really dont know anymore im just so damn confused and i miss her. and i really need her during this whole throat cancer thing. and ive never really been loved in my life by anyone even my own parents and then i find her and she was finally the peson that loved me and then she does this to me. i just dont understand it.

[azgirl]

Mmm. Well about your throat - that's too bad. My guy chews, too and I need to share your story with him, but he'll probably just laugh at me because I smoke. But anyway ... here is the real deal. I think - and please don't be mad - just from what you are telling me about the sun chips thing - she is a spoiled brat! She just needs to do some growing up. Does she have brothers or sisters?

 

I really think that the counseling may help, but all in all she just needs to grow up. Five year olds throw fits and tantrums, not people her age. And then for her to act like an angel once you cave and give her what she wants? That's a bunch of BS. Don't let her take advantage of you ... I'm sure she does the same crap to her parents, as well. Yeah, as much as you love her, maybe you should try letting go for a while. You don't have to get out of her life completely, but step back and take a breather. Don't forget - you have some pretty heavy s**t you are dealing with right now as well.

 

Making everything all about her all the time just reinforces her behavior of throwing tantrums and fits! And until she does get her head on straight and learn to behave in a mature manner, she will not make a good mate for you.

[burton928]

well i knew she had to do some growing up but the only way that wil happen is when she gets out on her own but that wont be for a while. she does have an older by like 10 years. she is the baby of the family and she does pretty much get whatever she wants. but i mean its not fair to be treating me like this.

 

i know i should let her go and go find someone else but i mean i dont want to be with anyone else. i want to be with her even as crazy as it may seem. i mean i know im not perfect and i do have some issues too to deal with from when i was kid which is causing everything with me but i dont think i deserve to be treated like this.

 

i dont know hwat im going to do. i want to talk to her and try and get her to listen to me so we can work things out together. but i doubt that will happen.

[azgirl]

Perhaps right now you should just concentrate on handling your own issues and dealing with your health problems. Just give it time. I guess that is all you can do right now.

I know you do not want to be with anyone else. I feel the same way about my bf. The thought of another man touching me or kissing me makes my skin crawl. And I haven't lost him, yet, so I try not to think about what life will be like of I have to move on. I am just taking it one day at a time right now.

 

But you are right about one thing - you do NOT deserve to be treated the way she is treating you. That is not fair. I would tell her that, too. I would call her and say, "You know I love you and I am here for you, but it is not fair that you treat me this way. I think until you get some of your issues worked out, we should not talk for a while." See if maybe the prospect of not having you there at all - even to talk to - may cause her to come around.

 

Sometimes people who behave like that just need a "slap in the face" to realize how their behavior is affecting others and how it will ultimately affect them.

[burton928]

yea i know what you are saying but its really hard. because all i do is think about her constantly. she hasnt left my mind at all since we broke up. even at night when im sleeping shes still in my dreams. and i have nothing else to do all my friends left for work somewhere so i got to work and then come home and sit around thinking about her even more. i started trying to run and workout but that only takes an hour out of the day and even when im running im imagining her face in front of me and i cant stop thinking about her. how can i do this then. my parents want me to go out with my neighbors cousin this weekend and do something and this girl is looking for a relationship but i dont want that. i dont even want to touch another girl right cause the feeling i had with my gf was the best i have ever had in my life. i knew as soon as i kissed her she was it. and ive been in long relationships before and obviously they ended but i was never like this when they ended. i seriously saw myself marrying her and having kids. so like i said im so damn confused. i cant even find anybody to talk to like on a permanent basis. i go online just to try and find someone to talk to and nobody wants to talk. it sucks.

[azgirl]

Aw! I know how you feel. And - hey! You have me to talk to. I'm here at work (believe it or not) until 5:00pm my time which is 8:00pm your time. And as you can tell - I don't have a whole lot to do at my job.

 

I know how you feel about your girl. I feel exactly the same about my guy. I'll never forget the first day we hung out together. I would have stayed the night if I hadn't been living with my "boyfriend" that I was in the process of breaking up with. That day was the most magical day I have ever experienced. I knew I was going to fall in love with him harder than I had ever fallen for someone in my life. And I did. He's amazing! He brings such joy in my life, he touches my soul. I already knew/know what I will say to him if/when I marry him. So I know how you feel. Just concentrate on YOU a little bit right now. And I don't quite think you are ready to go out with another girl. I would pass on that offer if I were you. But don't wait too long - at least give it a try because you will realize one of two things - either your girl is the right one for you or that there is someone out there that is better than you.

 

The thing with me is that I have had many serious relationships. Some of them good, and some of them a nightmare (like the one I was coming out of when I met my current bf.) and I have been in love before and the strength of the love and passion that I feel for him and the level on which we connect is something that I have been searching for forever and thought I would never, ever find. I thought I was going to have to settle, and I know that something like this happens once in a lifetime and if I lose him, I do not want to have to go out there and find someone to settle with. You know?

 

Now I'm getting all emotional. That's not going to help us any!

[burton928]

ive never been in love with anyone before and im a firm believer that your first true love(which is my girlfriend) is who you are supposed to be with for the rest of your life. i just hope she changes her mind or somethin but it doesnt seem like she is even thinking about nay of this either because it seems like shes out with her friends all the time now and thats probably why she left me was to be with her friends.

 

i know i have you to talk to and i appreciate it but no offense to you i wish it was her i was talking to.

 

all the relationships i had before the girls i went started hanging out with other guys and stuff and my friends would finally tell me they were going oout with other guys so i broke up with them because i didnt have much feelings for them. but now its a lot different with her. i love her with all my heart and soul and i just wish she would see that and realize what she is doing to me. i know i should leave her alone and maybe she would come back but then there is a part of me that says dont do that because then she may never come back.

[burton928]

life sucks right now

[azgirl]

I know. Things are hard right now and I am sure you would rather be talking to her right now. But then at least I won't yell at you and be mean if you don't want to buy me sun chips. I like popcorn better, anyway!

 

I haev been in love several times in my day, and you will realize what I did. There are different levels of love and of being in love. Or different degrees. The harder you fall in love, the harder it is when it ends, and if my current boyfriend leaves me for good, I will be a wreck and I can't even begin to think of how I'll cope. I'm not out of the woods yet, but I think it is getting better. But I have been madly in love before and have been completely and utterly wrecked! So I know how you feel and I know that even as I tell you that I have been madly in love before, he is the one that I truly feel I belong with. I feel it to my very soul. And if this is your first one, then this one is going to hurt like hell. I remember my first love. Thought I was going to die, but looking back - the guy was a loser and I am glad that I didn't end up with him for the rest of my life.

 

So hang in there. Go out with your friends when you can. And in the meantime, I am here to talk when you need to.

[burton928]

well thank you for being there and not yelling at me for sun chips. i just hope everything gets figured out with us. thank you for all your help as well. if you ever need to talk as well im here too even though i dont know too much.

[burton928]

i really want to go smoke a cigar right now and calm down my nerves but i know i cant. probably would end up dieing or something like that. i need to really find something else to do because like i said none of my friends are around anymore. i just want to go back and i have to wait another month and a half until then.

 

i also think that if we lived near each other this would have never happened. because i was supposed to go back home in april but i couldnt find a job out there quite yet so i ahd to stay in pittsburgh.

 

what do you think about that?

[azgirl]

Cool. Thanks! I may need ya if things don't work out for me and my guy. But I'm here for you, too anytime you need to chat. I hope you start feeling better.

[azgirl]

Are you saying you want to move closer to her? Or that the distance is what caused this?

[burton928]

well im originally from cleveland and she lives 20 minutes from where i live in cleveland. and i dont know what do you think? do you think maybe the distance caused it a little bit?

[azgirl]

Probably. Long-distance relatioships are difficult. And maybe she resented you for leaving her?? Didn't she say that it was unfair that you always had to leave? Maybe she was angry about that.

[burton928]

yea thats what ive been thinking lately too. ive been thinking maybe shes doing this and then when i come back home she will come back to me or whatever. cause lately she hasnt wanted to talk to me whne im out here. she said there was no reason to talk everyday even though she always said we had talked everyday for a year and she didnt want to tend that. i mean i dont know theres just so many things.