worlybear Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 Paperwork landed on the mat this morning, I just have to sign one piece of paper and I am officially divorced. It's a very strange feeling and I'm currently riding a rolller coaster of emotions, from deep despair to quietly optimistic. I'm scared of the future and I know that I have to be a strong role model for my youngest daughter but the job hunt is hard and frustrating. I know that life is what you make it but I kinda feel that I'm caught in the wrong life and I would quite like the other one back please. I expected to move on quickly but I feel that I've regressed, despite having a new male friend. To any divorcees out there- does this feeling get better and how long does it take!
Minnie09 Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 I thought you had a job. How old are you? I, too, had to go find a job after being a SAHM for a few years, and getting rejected over and over again by potential employers after having gone through an emotionally draining D from a cheater was more than I could handle at that time. I was almost 40 and ageism is big in the corporate world. I did manage to find a job after a loong time of searching, but the financial disaster is still something I'm struggling with, in addition to being a single parent, which I definitely never wanted to be. I'm more than a year out now, but I'm STILL feeling lonely, overwhelmed and sad. It's not getting better yet. But I'm telling myself day after day after day that I'm a fighter and I can do it. I'm thinking a lot of negative thoughts, though, such as "Why do I have to pick up the pieces of the mess that someone else has created?" Hang in there. We are strong women.
2.50 a gallon Posted October 23, 2011 Posted October 23, 2011 Worly My story is different, after catching her with the OM I gave up on our marriage. About a month later she decided she wanted to reconcile, I never entertained the idea, she then pursued me for the next 3 plus years, which annoyed me, so when I got a new job and place to live I disappeared. She wanted me to file, I did not see a need to waste hundreds of dollars on a piece of paper, as in my mind we where thru the second that I saw her with the OM, and besides we did not have any kids or large assets to split. Eight years later, I move back to my home state. Where my mom presented me with a copy of my divorce. My mom being a legal expert had decided to track down my marriage status and had gotten a copy. I truthfully had not thought of my Ex in years, so I was more than surprised to find that seeing the copy of my divorce decree which had taken place a good seven years previous, actually threw me into some sort of wierd funk. It was like this big hole opened up in the middle of my life that and a whole bunch of negativity swept into my life. I didn't miss her, but at the same time, I was left to wonder why wasn't I good enough to be marriage material.
Author worlybear Posted October 23, 2011 Author Posted October 23, 2011 I had been covering maternity leaves and both times the class teacher came back. I have applied for jobs and had interviews but the younger, less expensive candidates seem to be appointed. I am 53- have looked into other work but there is nothing available, even retail is cutting posts. I won't give up and have accepted that I will probably have to move-again- so that I have a better chance of employment. i accept that this is just how it has to be but do feel resentful that my life(and my daughter's) has changed so dramatically. Hit a new low when daughter's Headteacher told me that there was financial help available for my daughter's 3 day school trip- although grateful I am mortified that we are in this position,especially as XH is funding OW's daughter for ballet,school clothes etc. Once the divorce was absolute I thought that things would improve but I seem to be stuck. Outwardly I appear positive and upbeat but I am scared that things won't get better.
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