AshleyMB Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 Should I message him? Or is this one a goner? So just looking for some other people’s opinions on this, cause I find it a little weird. I just started dating this guy, he messaged me first on a dating site and asked me out, saying like ‘hey you’re profile pretty much describes me too” We went out on our first date for some casual drinks, and it went really well. He later admitted that he was really nervous (like meeting someone new, and he had a few drinks to combat that lol). After he dropped me off that night, he texted me once he got home saying that he had a good time… and we kept in pretty constant contact via texting and fb messaging since. He would always message or text me, asking how my day was going, and that we should make plans to do something if I’m not too busy etc… he works backshifts, and he would always message me on his phone when he was bored and on his downtime and we would chat a lot. We made plans for a second date, I had to work that night and ended up getting off a lot later than I expected. I texted him back when I got off like almost 2 hrs later than I thought, he said if it was too late we could hang out some other time, but he still offered to pick me up and drive me home from work anyways. I wasn’t tired and neither one of us had to work the next day, so I was still for it and we did end up hanging out and watching a movie at his place that night.Eventually, after a longg time he just sort of all of a sudden went in for the kiss lol, and we made out for a little bit, extremely PG. But it was very late by that point and I needed to head.... He drove me home, kissed me goodnight,said he’d call me tomorrow, which he did. We kept the texting and chatting going on back and forth, most of which he initiated. Last time we talked, he was like “you should let me know if you want to do something when you get some free time this week.” I told him I could do Tues or Thursday, and he said either day could work for him. I texted him Tuesday late afternoon saying I could prob hang out for a bit that day, but I would maybe need a bit of a nap first because my work day ended up being long and brutal….. but then I have just heard nothing back from him at all since. He’s been online on facebook, but hasn’t messaged me. I’ve had some bad experiences with dating sites, but from what I’ve seen he hasn’t been active on the site we met on, and there hasn’t been any girls added or anything on his facebook (warning signs from previous experiences). I don’t really know this guy very well yet, and we’ve only been on a couple of dates, so there’s no reason for me to get all upset about this. But I did kind of want to get to know him better and see how it would go, and from what I did see and stuff with him I do really like him alot. It’s been like 4-5 days…. Should I just message him anyways? Just like a casual, hey how’s it going? I've always been taught that the guy is supposed to do the initiating, and if not, well then he's probably 'not that into you' or whatever....
Nexus One Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 Message him if you want to message him. Those waiting games are silly in my opinion. If two people like each other they should be able to communicate without playing such silly games. If he's not that into you, then he should be upfront about that to you instead of stringing you along.
Fondue Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 He initiated enough with you. Why don't you initiate now? I don't understand this "men should always do the pursuing mentality." Maybe he's had enough. He could be thinking, "hell, I kept it going, now let's see if she'll make the effort to do so." And just like you, he's also thinking: "Well, if she doesn't get in contact with me, then she isn't interested."
Lucky_One Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 I would text him; there is always the chance that he never got your first text.
Feelin Frisky Posted October 23, 2011 Posted October 23, 2011 I thought you meant "massage". Never mind. But seriously, yes, text him or call or w/e.
cdm369 Posted October 23, 2011 Posted October 23, 2011 Really agree with fondue here. It sucks to always initiate everything. Nice to know the girl is as interested in us as we are her. Having said that I have a 3 contact rule. I try 3 times after that im done.. hate being ignored.
Lilmisus Posted October 23, 2011 Posted October 23, 2011 Though I agree that you should message him and waiting around is silly, I also think that if it's been that long and he hasn't tried contacting you at all, then his interest level has probably pretty much dropped a lot, especially since he didn't reply to your text that you sent him. Try this one more time though, and if he doesn't reply again, I would just delete him off of Facebook and lose his number...there's no reason for you to start chasing him.
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