Rooke Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 Okay so he'll leave me alone for weeks at a time but then he'll leave voicemails begging me to get in touch...I have closed down my emails address but I CAN'T change my phone number and I have looked into restraining orders but I have been told unless I change my number and because the messages aren't threatening or abusive it is a civil matter. I know his wife is oblivious, is my only choice to tell her what's going on so he'll leave me alone?
Emme Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 That's not your only choice. Your other choice is to inform your contacts that you have to changed numbers. Get a new phone for that purpose. Let the message box fill up on this phone that CAN NOT get rid of. Move on with your life.
Silly_Girl Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 Why can't you change your number? I've had to do it twice to escape my ex.
Author Rooke Posted October 22, 2011 Author Posted October 22, 2011 Sigh..okay if everyone really MUST know, my phone is on a contract and it's in my Dad's name, my credit history is rubbish so I can't get a contract in my own name and my Dad died two years ago and when I asked my provider if I could change my number they said only the account holder could do that but obviously he can't because he isn't here anymore but I live away from home and there's no way I'm changing to pay as you because I talk to my Mum every day and it'd cost me too much.
cuddlekeeper Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 Changing your phone number could all be for nothing anyway, especially if he got hold of your new number Have you tried telling him that if he does not stop that you will tell his wife? It might be enough just to make him back off without actually doing it.
carhill Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 Legal steps can be time-consuming and expensive to enforce. Who is listed on the mobile contract of your deceased father? Does his number still exist, presuming he had a mobile phone? If so, what happened to his phone? Is the mobile provider aware that he's deceased? Does your mum have a computer and internet access? Do you? I'm asking because a lot of LS'ers post from mobiles and a regular computer isn't required anymore. More information helps with better strategies. If he could no longer contact you by phone, would you feel safe?
carhill Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 Also, if his number can't be blocked, you can assign a unique name to it, so voicemails from that number could be easily identified and deleted without listening to them. I do it all the time.
Spark1111 Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 Well, if your mum knows the four-digit billing pin, and some man answers your dad's phone, you could change it. My children have changed their phones frequently. Phone numbers? maybe this will not work, I dunno. If that is not possible, then I would tell him in no uncertain terms, that if he continues to call you you will inform his wife as you are taping the calls(bluff!) Ignore, ignore, ignore....and if he still continues to call THEN call his wife with all the evidence you have. Remember: People cannot take advantage of you without your permission!
Silly_Girl Posted October 23, 2011 Posted October 23, 2011 I know you just want to escape this, and I understand, but I suggest taking a different tactic. Transcribe each and every one. Keep a log. The messages don't have to be threatening to be considered harassment. And the police need pushing on that, it's not an easy one for them to deal with but you have the right not to be harassed. I would have a lawyer send a letter with the details of the calls (including the content, that's important) and state that the next stage is to go to the police and pursue a harassment charge. And then do so if he does not stop. Either that or just accept that he can get in to less than 1% of your world by leaving you voicemails and you will simply delete every single last one without listening, and one day he'll get bored of it.
Author Rooke Posted October 23, 2011 Author Posted October 23, 2011 Thanks guys, I'll try the Solicitor letter thing. I know he will get bored eventually, it just upsets me to hear them after I've worked so hard to get my life back on track and that he has the arrogance to think I'd want to talk to him. I guess he's worried I'll meet someone else.
Ms. Red Posted October 23, 2011 Posted October 23, 2011 Thanks guys, I'll try the Solicitor letter thing. I know he will get bored eventually, it just upsets me to hear them after I've worked so hard to get my life back on track and that he has the arrogance to think I'd want to talk to him. I guess he's worried I'll meet someone else. Why do you even listen to them? Just delete them and be done with it. I'm getting bombarded with calls and V-mail currently coz I had a friend living with me and he didn't have a phone & I was stupid enough to let him give my cell phone as a contact. He's now out of here and out of my life but the calls continue. I just delete delete delete and don't even listen to the messages. It's that simple!
K.K. Posted October 23, 2011 Posted October 23, 2011 (edited) Just change your number or block him. No need to **** up his life with a restraining order just because he calls you every few weeks. It's not like he's threatening to kill you or something. He probably just misses you. No need to tell his wife either. You're just hurt and want to hurt him back. Be a bigger person. Edited October 23, 2011 by K.K. double post
Deano8888 Posted October 23, 2011 Posted October 23, 2011 Just thought I would add my thoughts from a blokes view who's been dumped. I don't know whats been happening in your situation and this is the first post I have read on yours, so forgive me if I am way off the mark. I was dumped out the blue by my long term girlfriend by text, I had no explanation or reason given to me and it really hurt me deep. So I text, phones and sent letters ect... but she never did contact me again. Maybe the bloke you was involved with has his head messed up a bit like mine. Sometimes the best ways of moving on is if you both had closure. If he still thinks he has a shot with you or has feelings there he will keep trying. If he has not had proper closure he may be finding it hard to deal with. So, I don't know if this applies to your situation, but may be he is just looking for closure but going the wrong way about it. Anyway, hope this helped a bit. All the best
Owl Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 Start fwding his texts to his wife. If she's oblivious...she probably deserves to know the truth about what he's done anyway. In the scramble to save his marriage...he won't have time to text you. Go for it. He deserves the backlash, she deserves the truth, and you deserve some peace and quiet.
reboot Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 Gotta agree with Owl. Letting her know will definitely get him out of your hair.
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