jobaba Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 This is a journal entry someone suggested I make. Most of you don't care I'm sure, but it's therapeutic for me to have others read and comment on this. Thanks! 10/22/11 First journal entry. Yesterday was a bad day. Today is a bad day. A while ago (maybe a few years), I told myself that I would not fall for a woman based on her looks. Last week and this week, I fell hard for one of my co-workers. We had been working together basically for the last two months, just the two of us alone together on the road. We had lunch together maybe 40 times in that period. THAT’S LIKE 40 DATES! There were some periods where I thought, “Ugh. Why would somebody say something like that.” There were also periods of uncomfortable silence. I had worked with her before and felt little attraction to her. Yes. She’s pretty, but she wasn’t my type and I thought her to be petty and a little shallow. A party girl. She had a boyfriend at the time and her stories about him annoyed me to no end. On top of that, she was a lazy worker. But this time was different. I learned that she was picked on in high school. She really is kind of a homebody. She helps to support her mother with her salary. She really picked up her work ethic. We became a lot more comfortable together. So I guess I kind of fell for her. My assignment with the company was winding down and Friday was to be my last day. On Thursday, she went out of her way to hang out with me for my going away thing when she had other plans. I had it in my head all week that I would make a move on her knowing full well it was my last week. Wednesday and Thursday it got bad. She was in my head all day and I had dreams about her. I could not per se see us dating. She’s taller than me by an inch or two and she’s white. I’m not. She’s also 10 years younger than me. Then again, I had nothing to lose. Anyway, on my last day, when we were alone for a moment, I started a faux conversation and leaned over to kiss her. She rebuffed my advances and that’s that. I figured the chances were slim since she is pretty far from what I usually go for. Anyway, I’ve been rejected before … a lot. This one is still pretty far entrenched in my mind. We’ll see how long in takes for it to subside. Feels good to get it out though.
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