tigz Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 so my girlfriend of a year just broke up with me. shes away at college, but thats not really the issue. her reason for a break up was because she was not herself anymore. and the relationship was more work than fun. im being completely honest and telling you that there was no real issues. no trust issues, no arguements, pretty much nothing and she wont even talk to me. were not talking right now because honestly i am afraid i'll push her even more away. im afraid if i try to talk to her, even normal, she'll just ignore me. and im sitting here asking myself, why cant she just talk to me about it? why cant she tell me the reasons why she sees the relationship like tihs? i thought we were fine, i was having fun. i see this "reason" as something you should atleast TRY to fix. and she wont even talk to me about it. we haven't talked since the past monday, and her birthday is nov 1st. i plan on not talking to her whatsoever until then, and just say a nice "happy birthday!" on the 1st. and go from there. im not really asking how to "get back with her", im more of asking a few things like. why wont she even talk to me about it? how do i atleast get her to talk things out? and yes, i do want to get back with her, because like honestly... nothing happened
ShaneSchommer Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 Well thats a tough situation seeing as she wont talk to you about it.. honestly man since she wont talk to you about it she may feel guilty that she has fallen for someone else, i would tell her to honestly talk and tell you why, and that you deserve to know why she broke up with you and if she doesn't then don't ever talk to her again. I know its hard because my girlfriend is away at college as well,
Author tigz Posted October 22, 2011 Author Posted October 22, 2011 should i wait to try and talk to her? or should i try now?
Confusedbroken Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 Well it sounds like there is more going on then she's telling you, she wants to break up and she's not being honest why. Maybe she just doesn't feel the same way about you like she use to. I had this problem with my last relationship. I thought everything was just perfect and all of a sudden he tells me that it's too much work trying to be in the relationship. Well my advise is to save yourself more heartache and let her go, don't attempt to call her, not even on her bday, just let it be, and if she decides she made a mistake then she will call you, but it seems like she is done.
Author tigz Posted October 22, 2011 Author Posted October 22, 2011 i gotta be honest and say there is no way for me to just let her go right now.. yeah i know i should, or should try working on it. but i mentally and physically cant.
Author tigz Posted October 22, 2011 Author Posted October 22, 2011 (edited) okay. well i was thinking... and since the break up i haven't really asked to fully talk this out. i gave hints and asked her what her reasons were over facebook chat, but thats about it. i want to text/call her so badly and just ask "can we just talk this out, whatever the out come is". but im afraid to do that, because yes, in the long run i want to try and get back with her and im afraid asking to talk it out will just push her away more. but also in the back of my mind im asking myself why should i have to go through all of this just to wait to talk it out. idk what to do:\ i found this picture http://i.imgur.com/vpPh9.gif. and sent to her while she was online on facebook, and just said "thought you'd like this". and she logged off. Edited October 22, 2011 by tigz
ShaneSchommer Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 (edited) yes i would talk to her NOW, no sense in waiting and making you worry more. and if things dont work out and you dont get back together DO NOT talk to her anymore no texts or facebook, i would even delete her from everything. tell her to be honest with you its the least she can do. Best of luck my friend its tough but youll get through it. sometimes college changes people for the worst and you dont need someone in your life like that. And remember it will be HER loss you seem to be at least the mature one in this whole thing. Edited October 23, 2011 by ShaneSchommer
thatone Posted October 23, 2011 Posted October 23, 2011 you can have that talk in 4 words... you: "what's his name?" her: (new guy's name)
Author tigz Posted October 23, 2011 Author Posted October 23, 2011 yeah. well ive hit rock bottom tonight. i explained it all to my friend. im taking this so much harder than a normal break up. i know people say "i gave that girl my heart". well i gave her my heart, and i also told her things and done things not another soul knows about in this world. and for her to just to break up with me like this, AND also ignore me. it hurts more than anything in the entire world, and i am baffled beyond belief that shes doing this to me.
Author tigz Posted October 23, 2011 Author Posted October 23, 2011 oh and its hard to get her to talk to me about it when she thinks its all about her. "leave me alone" "i tried to be nice" "you're getting clingy". all the things she said to me after the break up. and before today. i thought i was doing everything wrong, i should give her space. but after my breakdown, i realized that she is the one doing everything wrong. she is the one losing me. i was just sitting there trying to get an answer out of her. im tired of her thinking its all about her.
Confusedbroken Posted October 23, 2011 Posted October 23, 2011 She does not deserve your time and effort!! Please let her go, she's the one losing out. She's being really imature, you do not deserve that and the best thing to do is let go. You will find someone who will treat you so much better than this! Forget about her, don't let her know how much she is hurting you, because she seems to not care at all either way.
Author tigz Posted October 23, 2011 Author Posted October 23, 2011 yeah i know this now. but i still wont feel right with myself until i get it out of her. its hard to explain. at this point i really dont care if i come off clingy or whatever she thinks. i know she deserves to tell me whats up.
Author tigz Posted October 23, 2011 Author Posted October 23, 2011 i sent her a message saying. "hey. i just wanna say i accept the break up. even though it was the worst break up. i really dont know why you hate me right now. i know i said a few things and you said a few things. and were not on very good terms. i dont know what we are anymore or in the future. since were on really bad terms can we just talk it out, normally. im not gonna convince you or anything, im not even gonna talk about "getting back together". just please, if this is the last time were gonna talk forever, can we make it on good terms." "i think we owe each other that? this is probably the last time were gonna talk, can i get 20 min alone. and ill leave u alone. dont u want that? no response...
Author tigz Posted October 23, 2011 Author Posted October 23, 2011 show this to your friends, or dont read it, do whatever you want. you did this all wrong. you ask yourself why this relationship was more work than fun. because you didnt make it fun. you weren't yourself? how lol. cuz you had a boyfriend? i really dont know you anymore. i dont see why you cant sit down and have a conversation with me about this. you either feel guilty cuz u like another guy or you just dont know what ur losing and think i'll always be there. you had me up till yesterday. before yesterday i was making plans on how to get you back. haha. you have way had me believing i was actually being clingy, or you were actually being nice about this. nah, you did it all wrong. go have fun at college, go to parties, hook up with guys, do all u want. because u dont have me anymore. people who love each other dont put others through what you put me through. you're being selfish. but, not my problem anymore. go have fun whatever you're doing. and when you get tired of the college lifestyle and you come looking for me, probably wont be there. you ran over me these past months. you distanced yourself so much, didnt put any real effort into the relationship.. and i still supported you, loved you. supported you through your not so good grades at the time. texted you you were beautiful everyday just to try to make you smile and make your day happier. and you took it all for granted.. i can say this now, you do not deserve me. i gave you everything. and i hope you realize soon what you have done. it pains me to say i still love you, when you don't. go ahead and see this as a "dick message", but its not. truth hurts. we had a chance to work things out. but you doing what you're doing. not so much. good bye. sent that to her. and im done
ShaneSchommer Posted October 23, 2011 Posted October 23, 2011 Well im proud of you, I know its really hard especially when you love someone to write something like that but since she wont talk i think it was the right thing to do, so good job. its her loss. Now my advice would be to never talk to her again even if she contacts you dont respond, you have to show you really meant those words and she cant walk all over you. now go have some fun my man. Youll get through this.
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