singlelife Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 Guys or girls. I keep hearing people getting stalked on fb and following them around and spreading rumors about them. One of my friends has a chick who comments on fb everytime he says something on one of their mutal friends. He just ignored her until he recently wrote a rude comment for her to leave him alone. I just don't understand why driving by a persons home all the time or trying to show up where they are does for them.
calla Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 They are probably having a hard time getting over them.
Author singlelife Posted October 22, 2011 Author Posted October 22, 2011 They are probably having a hard time getting over them. those actions doesn't make them want them back.
carhill Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 Unhealthy emotional attachment would be my opinion, along with having inappropriate coping methods. I recall a period in my youth like that, markedly after my first serious emotional attachment/love affair. I recognized the unhealthiness and it never happened again. I would later come to understand that this kind of potential reaction was due to an unhealthy love dynamic, meaning the 'wrong' person to love, for the 'wrong' reasons/impetuses. Subsequent, healthier loves, even when they ended, processed in a healthier way because they were healthy but ended, and that ending, though painful, was accepted. So, the growth was loving in a healthier way and accepting the results of that love, including when it ended.
Mrlonelyone Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 Like others have said some people have trouble letting go. Once it is 100% clear that it is over some people just can't let go. That said some people are bad at making that clear because they fear confrontation or are poor communicators. Things that make it unclear that you don't want to hear from them: Keeping them as FB friends. If someone is a FB friend you have given them express permission to see all your stuff that is left visible to friends. Therefore they aren't stalking you. It's like inviting someone into your house for a party then getting angry when they dare to speak. Keeping in touch in other ways. IF you really don't want to hear from them then why not just cut them off cold turkey? Perhaps the one supposedly being stalked has almost as much trouble letting go. A personal example of real cyberstalking and other odd behaviors. Those who know my real name know this already. There are people on the net who due to some of my views on psychology have decided to make websites slandering me. They have decided to try to ruin my career if they could. That is cyberstalking.
carhill Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 Oh, forgot to add the 'what'. IME, it was an active validation of the feelings of the moment. It was 'doing something' to act on those feelings, even if not healthy nor appropriate. Such acts have levels. Some are inoffensive. Some are annoying. Some are criminal. Regardless, they appear to feed the same mouth, the desire for validation.
Mrlonelyone Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 Some examples of my experiences...just in the last year. People who have said they don't want me contacting, or keeping tabs on me in various ways. Calling and hanging up, having someone else call, driving by, all kinds of crap. Just last nite. I'm at home looking at a DVD and get a phone call. Male voice: Hey S (As in someone I spoke of here about a year ago who has an unusual enough name). Me: Who is this? Male voice : Is S there? Me: I think you have the wrong number. :/ WTH. I just chalked it up to a mistake...pressing the wrong button on a phone. Someone who's more excitable might call that stalking. A few months ago I was in boystown (the "gay" part of chicago) to attend a LGBT event. Someone who saw me at the Starbucks down the street followed me to the event and came on really hard. I gently let him down and sat next to a really muscular transman to scare the guy off. I couldn't make the above up if I tried. Are things like that stalking? Are they criminal? Or are these just people reacting based on reasonable emotions in ways that are strange but not really all that unusual? I think the last thing.
grkBoy Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 IMHO...it's just irrationality set in by emotion. Logically, they know this won't "win him/her back", but they're irrational, emotional, clinging to the past, etc. Some want to be vindictive, others are just sad/emotional. There is no logic to it.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 those actions doesn't make them want them back. No, but it obviously puts the offendee NEARER to the the offender, if only in the offender's mind. Of course that is the most important factor in the immediate term in the eyes/mind of the offender.
Author singlelife Posted October 24, 2011 Author Posted October 24, 2011 No, but it obviously puts the offendee NEARER to the the offender, if only in the offender's mind. Of course that is the most important factor in the immediate term in the eyes/mind of the offender. Guess they don't mind looking like an idiot.
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