thatcatlady67 Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 My first husband stated to me, early in our relationship, "I'm an a*****e." He seemed matter-of-fact and rather proud of it. I shrugged it off and went on to spend an unhappy seven years with this man. He was being honest. What struck me, was that my mother told me that my father said the exact same thing to her, in the same way, under similar circumstances. And was he ever! I have come to realize, the hard way, that people reveal much of their character early on. Not just by what they say about themselves, but also how they say it. Any opinions?
thatone Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 (edited) extending your example a bit further, you would be surprised at how many men write women off because they met and heard her mother's life story, knowing the daughter would likely repeat it. i broke it off with a waitress i dated a year or so ago due to that. initially she seems smart, motivated, etc. just waiting tables while she finishes school and knows what she wants and where she's going. problem: look at her facebook pics and the mother is always clean and nice looking and her house is always well kept, meanwhile her father is always in front of a harley or camaro holding a beer up for the camera. so i wasn't terribly surprised when i was sitting at her house one day and the tattoo'd 40 year old bartender she was ALSO screwing showed up to drop something off. the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Edited October 22, 2011 by thatone
Author thatcatlady67 Posted October 22, 2011 Author Posted October 22, 2011 Thatone, I believe this is true about women too. My mother told me this years after I split with my first husband, an eerie coincidence IMO.
norajane Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 I have learned that you should pay attention when men tell you about themselves. The other one to stay away from is the guy who says "I'm not good enough for you," because he's probably right.
AHardDaysNight Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 The other one to stay away from is the guy who says "I'm not good enough for you," because he's probably right. Or he has low self esteem, and probably needs a therapist. I do agree, though, that what a person says at the beginning of dating is very important.
FitChick Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 I recall one man saying, "I'm not reliable." He wasn't. If you are lucky enough to find a man who tells you, listen to him. They do this so when you complain about their actions in the future they can say, "Well, I told you I was like this!"
Star Gazer Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 extending your example a bit further, you would be surprised at how many men write women off because they met and heard her mother's life story, knowing the daughter would likely repeat it. I don't judge a man by hearing his father's life story, as he's not his father, so I don't think it's fair to judge a woman by her mother's story. I do strongly agree, however, that when someone tells you who they themselves are, we all really ought to listen.
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