InfiniteEnigma Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 Hi, I am new to the forum, and having a small crisis, and could really use a woman’s (or man's, if any guys have been through the same situation) advice. So I have been dating this girl now for just about 4 months. Everything is ok, we get along like a house on fire, she makes me laugh, and I make her laugh. We see each other fairly regularly and we were friends before we started dating. But, and I hate to say it, I am just not “feeling it”. Some quick background info: I am a quiet country guy and consider myself to be one of the ‘nice’ guys. I haven’t dated a whole lot of women but those that I did date after the break-up we remained friends (mostly). I think in all the previous relationships I initiated it, but with my current girlfriend she initiated it. With my ex-girlfriends it always just seemed to follow its natural course and fizzled out. We usually just talked and decided to be friends but I think my girlfriend looking for this to go further. I should have known better then to date a friend but it seemed like a good idea at the time. I do love her; I am just missing something, as cliché as that sounds. I can't string her along any further and I want to end the relationship but I really don’t want to hurt her. If she hates me afterwards and never wants to speak to me again I can live with that. Don’t get me wrong I will be gutted to lose a friend I just don’t want to hurt her. I can’t stand to see girls cry. So after all that here’s my dilemma, how do I go about ending it? Cheers in advance for any advice. Alex
Buttercup84 Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 By " not feeling it " do you mean you can't see yourself falling in love with her ? I would get it over and done with as soon as you can . Sit her down and be honest with her , do not make excuses or sugarcoat things. Tell her you just do not feel the same way and want to end the relationship . And please do not say you still can be friends ! dumpees do not want to hear that. If she wants to be friends she will approach you when she is ready . Do not contact her after that anymore , even just to see how she is . It will just give her hope .
Author InfiniteEnigma Posted October 22, 2011 Author Posted October 22, 2011 Buttercup: Thanks for replying. It is really hard to explain but yeh basically I don't see myself falling head-over-heels for her. She is great and I do love her, just not as much as she loves me and I can already feel her starting to head down that track and as I said I don't want to be a dick and string it along. I sort of hate myself at the moment because I know this is going to be bad for her.
Buttercup84 Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 You seem to be a good guy and yes it will hurt her , but it is best to do it before things get too serious for her . You can't avoid hurting someone when you break up with them sadly . Good luck and do not feel bad , it is not your fault .
Author InfiniteEnigma Posted October 22, 2011 Author Posted October 22, 2011 You seem to be a good guy and yes it will hurt her , but it is best to do it before things get too serious for her . You can't avoid hurting someone when you break up with them sadly . Good luck and do not feel bad , it is not your fault . I don't really have any other options do I. I just have to do it quickly and honestly without being brutal. Sound about right?
Buttercup84 Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 I don't really have any other options do I. I just have to do it quickly and honestly without being brutal. Sound about right? Yeah do what is best . You will be Ok and so will she one day .
M2155 Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 If you aren't feeling it, then you aren't being true to yourself or her to keep stringing her along. You are a good guy to want to do right by her. Just tell her you think she is a very special person but you don't feel the chemistry and liked your relationship better when you were friends. Tell her you are open to friendship when she is ready but you want her to find someone who is her perfect match.
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