funnyface Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 I'm looking for opinions! Today, I saw more FB posts from my ex boyfriend's new girlfriend, who he started dating a mere few weeks after our breakup about her lovely visit to him. Blegh. It still makes me nauseous, but surprisingly I haven't been crying about it much lately. I've gotten some job interviews that I'm really excited about. And, its the simplest thing... but I went shoe shopping this morning before work. I was looking for heels to wear to my cousin's wedding. I tried a pair on that were gorgeous... the deciding factor to get them was one of the salesmen stopping as I was walking in them and saying "Wow. Girl, those are SEXY!" That stupid comment boosted my confidence the rest of the day It got me thinking... What is REALLY the best way to prove to your ex that they missed out big time by dumping you or treating you badly? I'm not talking about trying to win them back... I don't want him back. I'm talking about working on yourself, and that great moment when not only do YOU feel good about yourself, but you know that your ex is even just the tiniest bit upset, but you couldn't care less. I think we all know that moment. Is it constantly posting on Facebook how happy you are? Is it about making sure you look EXTRA hot if you know you're going to see him? Thoughts?
mike111 Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 That all sorta sounds like game playing. Do you really need facebook? I have not got a FB account. But I think in a situation like this, I'd be tempted to dump the whole thing and just hide out from these people till feeling better. mike
PrissyDixie Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 Is it constantly posting on Facebook how happy you are? Is it about making sure you look EXTRA hot if you know you're going to see him? I think anything that has the ex as the motivation is not really about you, but about him...as long as it is about him then your happiness is not real but something your mind is telling you is there that really isn't and that IMO is very dangerous. I believe if revenge is what is sought then once again it's about someone else and not what true happiness is about: yourself. I think by being true to who you are (not staging or "one-upping") but being true to who you really are makes all the difference in the world; you find you are happy regardless of the situation you find yourself in...if posting all over FB is you then do it, if looking HOT is what makes you feel good for YOU then do it up big time! I believe as long as the intention is about You, I think happiness comes and the rest doesn't matter then...
Author funnyface Posted October 22, 2011 Author Posted October 22, 2011 I think anything that has the ex as the motivation is not really about you, but about him...as long as it is about him then your happiness is not real but something your mind is telling you is there that really isn't and that IMO is very dangerous. I believe if revenge is what is sought then once again it's about someone else and not what true happiness is about: yourself. I think by being true to who you are (not staging or "one-upping") but being true to who you really are makes all the difference in the world; you find you are happy regardless of the situation you find yourself in...if posting all over FB is you then do it, if looking HOT is what makes you feel good for YOU then do it up big time! I believe as long as the intention is about You, I think happiness comes and the rest doesn't matter then... True... I guess that is where my own personal feelings of "if he could see me now.." were coming from. I was happy because I looked great and and working on looking even better. I was happy because of my job prospects. I have a fun weekend planned with one of my best friends. I guess focusing on yourself really is pretty powerful, and where the real source of it comes from.
PrissyDixie Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 I guess focusing on yourself really is pretty powerful, and where the real source of it comes from. Yes indeed, it really is the most powerful and wonderful thing you can do for YOU! A confident, hot looking woman no one can resist you may be to young to remember the perfume commercial but it said something like,"I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan and never let you forget what I am...I'm a woman..." Enjoy your life for you and never compromise who you are for anyone ~ always be true to you!
fucpcg Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 I don't believe revenge can ever be a word associated with something positive, as u must be in a hateful state to use it. I was just treated very nasty by an ex, and a good friend of mine said a number of things that helped me.... one being "she's someone elses problem now, and that leaves ypu with the opportunity to find someone you deserve".
M2155 Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 Easy, yes. Happiness is the best "revenge". And you have to do it for you. If your ex happens to hear how great you're doing and has a twinge of jealousy or regret that's just bonus. I hate seeing people post in general about how great they are doing in because it comes off fake. I had a friend who was dumped and she posted a bunch of stuff for a while about how great it was to be single blah blah. Very annoying. But then she started posting about great things she was actually doing. (But she blocked him anyway so doesn't matter;)) Seeing the ex's new GF posting is annoying, I stopped looking at mine (trying to anyway). Honestly when I'm very happy with my guy, I never felt the need to blast it on FB.
ken_25 Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 I'm looking for opinions! Today, I saw more FB posts from my ex boyfriend's new girlfriend, who he started dating a mere few weeks after our breakup about her lovely visit to him. Blegh. It still makes me nauseous, but surprisingly I haven't been crying about it much lately. I've gotten some job interviews that I'm really excited about. And, its the simplest thing... but I went shoe shopping this morning before work. I was looking for heels to wear to my cousin's wedding. I tried a pair on that were gorgeous... the deciding factor to get them was one of the salesmen stopping as I was walking in them and saying "Wow. Girl, those are SEXY!" That stupid comment boosted my confidence the rest of the day It got me thinking... What is REALLY the best way to prove to your ex that they missed out big time by dumping you or treating you badly? I'm not talking about trying to win them back... I don't want him back. I'm talking about working on yourself, and that great moment when not only do YOU feel good about yourself, but you know that your ex is even just the tiniest bit upset, but you couldn't care less. I think we all know that moment. Is it constantly posting on Facebook how happy you are? Is it about making sure you look EXTRA hot if you know you're going to see him? Thoughts? While I understand where you're coming from, you should probably just let this whole thing go. It's a waste of time to think about these sorts of things.
EgoJoe Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 Flaming bags of poo on the door step is the best revenge, duuuuuh!
ChelseaLS Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 Funnyface, I know you're hurt and your pain... And not even from my current split. You're not going to prove anything to him if you're hung up on what he is doing. You needto work on yourself and as you work on yourself to better yourself you'll stop worrying or caring too much about you're ex's life. Not only that but you'll be happier and when he sees you are happier then he will realize what he misse out on. However if you really love him your goal shouldnt be revenge. Work on you. Worry about you and getting over your heart break. Everything will fall into place as it should if you learn to love yourself first.
Author funnyface Posted October 24, 2011 Author Posted October 24, 2011 Thanks to everyone for the wonderful advice Yeah, as I stated, I do not love him anymore... I guess I was just looking for a way to quickly get over the remaining painful bits and hearing about him and his girlfriend. Totally agree with just working on yourself... I feel like even though I never want him back, I've been harboring bad feelings inside me and still thinking about him in any respect, even in a "I am so over you and I feel so bad for you new girlfriend!" way is bad. I've been trying to just forget about him and bring all the attention back on myself. Those few quiet moments where I just let the thoughts of him disappear and think about my life and all the good things I've had have been very peaceful and good. So I guess its not about revenge... its about how to bring the focus back to you and forget about him.
Chi townD Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 The best revenge IS to live a happy life. My story was that I was dating this girl years ago. I thought what we had was special. But, she cheated on me. I caught her and she told me that I was a loser and wasn't going anywhere in live, never going to college; and she going with someone that had a future. I was heartbroken, but then I had an epiphany. She was right, I was hopping around from dead-end jobs and being lazy. So, I DID go to college. A LOT of college. Found I like the challange. I met my future wife. I have a wonderful career, I own my house and have a wonderful family. We take trips anytime we can, because we have the means to do so. Ive seen the world! And all this happened before the times of Facebook and Twitter. So, I have no clue if she knows how I turned out. Don't really care. However, I did hear that she ended up marrying the guy she cheated with. He was in college, but he had to transfer to the University of "I'm pregnant and you need a job" Last I heard, Mr. Wonderful is an Ambulance Driver, yet, I'm the one that was going no where in life. :-)
thatone Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 That all sorta sounds like game playing. Do you really need facebook? I have not got a FB account. But I think in a situation like this, I'd be tempted to dump the whole thing and just hide out from these people till feeling better. mike do you really need an answer to that? the amount of time people spend posting stuff about how happy they are on facebook is inversely related to how happy they actually are. if i had a dime for every "how sexy am i" questionnaire or "repost this if you're as happy as me" post from a borderline depressed woman on facebook i'd be a multi billionaire.
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