I really wanna go NC for a while but we have kids....how long can i go NC?

[momto3boys]

ok so some of you know my story. My situation seems to just get messier and messier. My husband kicked me out at 8 months pregnant, joined a dating website like days after telling me to get out. i moved 2 states away back to our home state. He is stationed 2 states away because of the army.

 

 

Anyways, a few days ago i found out that my ex has been doing drugs (weed and cocaine and im sure more). He did enroll himself in to a drug abuse class through the army. So i am glad about that. He claims he's only been doing it for 2 weeks, but honestly i think he did it before the marriage even ended because he would leave in the middle of the night for an hour or two to "drop something off at his friends house" and he'd come home and be all messed up. At the time i thought he was either drunk or messed up on his sleeping pills (he has abused his sleeping pills for a long time). He started leaving more to hang out with friends and not coming home til late. He got a tattoo gun and said he'd be tattooing people so he can make money but i never saw any money. I think he used tattooing as an excuse to get out of the house to do drugs. Which honestly it all really makes sense now as to why he was so different and mean and things are all adding up now.

 

 

Anyways, im very angry, hurt, i feel betrayed. He has no visitation with our child. Ive also made up my mind that i do not want him coming up here for the birth of our baby who is due in 3 weeks. He is coming up to our town at the end of Nov for thanksgiving for 2 weeks so i decided to just let him wait to meet the baby then (if he wasnt coming up at all, id allow him up for the birth to meet his son but since he will be here after a few weeks then i decided to just let him wait to meet our baby). It was a very difficult decision but honestly its my birth and i dont wanna deal with his issues when im at the hospital. For once id like to be happy and excited about this baby.

 

my question is since we have a child together (who is capable of talking to his dad on his own, hes almost 3 yrs old) but there is NO visitation, how long can i go NC with him?? I really just dont wanna talk to him until after im home from having the baby because he is HORRIBLE to me every time we talk and im sick of it. Its always all about him and i just dont wanna deal with it. Not to mention he needs to focus on getting himself together. Im completely done with him and honestly we have been married for 5 years and i am really just over him and the marriage and ready to have him out of my life because of how horrible he has treated me. He is so mentally/verbally and emotionally abusive and im done with it. But i dont wanna keep my son away from his dad, its important for him to be involved. But i just dont wanna deal with him for a while until the hurt/anger and feeling of betrayal has passed a little. He does not call often, maybe once every few days or once a week. Its been about 2 oe 3 days since we last talked and once again he was horrible to me. Can i go NC for 2 or 3 weeks without it being too messed up because we have a son? He will be up here soon to see our son so its not like he wont ever get to see/talk to him again. But i just wanna push him to get help.