Janik Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 As I progress through this breakup, my eyes are opened to the changes that are taking place. I've always settled for the bare minimum, whether it regarded friends, school, work, relationships, you name it. I dealt with unnecessary drama and took the blame for arguments just to shut people up, I didn't try in school and accepted failing grades, I did the bare minimum at work and often quit or got fired, I lowered my standards in order to stay with someone who I was in love with and put up with bull**** that I didn't deserve. Now, I've held onto my best friends, made a few new friendships with genuine people and if someone brings drama into my life I'm not shy to walk away until they grow up. I spend most of my time working on my assignments, studying for my tests and talking to my teachers about how to improve my marks to keep an 80 per cent average. I try my hardest at work to reach the goals that are given and strive off the positive feedback I receive. Although I'm not looking for a relationship or anything intimate with someone right now, nor will I be for at least four or five months, I know that when the time comes my standards will remain high and I won't accept someone who is going no where in life and doesn't treat me right. I never took anytime to myself over the last two years, instead focusing on my significant other to make sure everything in his life was being kept on track. Whether it was time, effort, or money, it all went into his happiness, not mine. Through his happiness I was rewarded with feeling good about what I had done which did lead me to being happy, but selfless happiness is much different than taking the time to do something for yourself and appreciating the small things. I recently took up horseback riding again, my passion, which I would have never done before in fear of not having time to see my significant other. After every breakup my life took a negative turn, but this time I knew there was no chance I was letting that happen. I've worked so hard over the last year of shaping who I am and making myself a better person that there is no way I would let one person ruin all my progress. Instead, I've taken this as an opportunity to grow as a person and prove to myself that I can be an amazing person without some sort of anchor. Without my friends and family I may not have gotten through the last few weeks as well as I did, but I know that it was mostly because of me. I can finally say after years of being unsure of who I am and what I'm doing in this world, that I'm proud of myself and love the life I'm living. How can I not appreciate everything I have? Although I'm always forcing myself to be happy, to keep busy, and to grow, I realize that every aspect of my life is great. Life never gets easy and we always have to work at it, but at the end of the day it is completely and utterly worth it. This breakup has been one of the most important milestones in my life so far. The changes and realizations I'm going through will forever shape me. Although my ex-significant other is going down a negative path which is sure to ruin his life, I hope the very best for him. I see the difference in maturity level and am partially beginning to understand why he could no longer commit to a serious relationship. For his sake, I hope he realizes what he's doing with his life or at least hits rock bottom soon so that he can pick himself up before there's no return. It's sad to say but I know he doesn't care what happens in my life, but that won't make me ill wish him, only push me to hope he will become a better person. A new life is unfolding before my eyes, and I welcome it with open arms. I look forward to the challenges life throw at me, and I looked forward even more to surpassing those obstacles and becoming an even better person.
sheba10 Posted October 25, 2011 Posted October 25, 2011 I´m glad it is working out for you. Iam going through a break up myself and hope to get back on my feet very soon, its tough. Good Luck !
Author Janik Posted October 25, 2011 Author Posted October 25, 2011 It's hard, but as long as you keep yourself busy and are able to notice how much better your life can be now it will move smoothly. No contact is key don't forget!
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